hi Page 1771 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Would You Let Ricky Williams Massage Your Head?
Ricky Williams is no longer searching for enlightenment in the bottom of a water bong. Oh, he still wants enlightenment, but now he's looking for it in a second career as a holistic healer....
Hooded Dicks Vs. Unhooded Penises
Via Jeffrey Goldberg, this is a story from the Sept. 1, 1926, edition of the Washington Post. No word on who won. Fun fact: The Povich you see there is Abe Povich, brother of Shirley, uncle of Maury. [Jeffrey Goldberg]...
Does ESPN's "Do Not Report" Policy Make Any Sense?
Still not a peep from ESPN on Ben Roethlisberger's legal troubles—and once again no Blog Buzz on SportsCenter—so as long as Big Ben keeps his mouth shut they're standing behind their decision to not stand behind this story....
In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...
Why Jack Never Leaves The Staples Center
Got a Jack Nicholson problem in your front row, Philadelphia? Call in the Phanatic The Batman. [The Fightins]...
Mad Dog Officially Seeking Mini Mad Dogs; Little Bow-Wows Need Not Apply
Now hiring! Chris Russo really is searching America for a talk show host for Mad Dog Radio. Requirements: thorough knowledge of the 1941 All-Star Game, the '62 Giants, Cecil B. DeMille and passion. Start primping that résumé, Mikey. [Monster.com]...
The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....
Barry Sanders Jr. Would Prefer Not To Wear Honolulu Blue
How does the son of the Greatest Lion Ever feel about pop's old squad? "I wouldn't say a big Lions fan, but I support them." Support them? Kid, you're the biggest Detroit Lion fan there is! [NewsOn6]...
Goodbye, Local Media. Hello, ESPN YourTown
Remember ESPNChicago, the synergtastic "local" website built to honor the Windy City and maybe make all the city's media outlets bow down in servitude to their Bristol masters? It worked! Oh....and you're next, Dallas! (Cue "Imperial March.")...
Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....
And On Next Week's Episode, Buddhist Monks Become Shaqtastic
Oh, hi there, star of ABC's forthcoming reality show, "Shaq Vs." It will pit Shaq vs. Phelps in swimming, Shaq vs. Roethlisberger in football, maybe Shaq vs. Lance in cycling, and hopefully, Shaq vs. Ashton in Twittering. [USA Today]...
Follow Me (Very Slowly) To Freedom
114-pound tortoise makes a break for it, flees the circus. He was later found on a golf course two miles away, still running. It took him six days. [AP]...
Look Ma, No Hands
Chinese police stopped this man for driving a motorcycle without a license. Unlike most police stops, they didn't have to worry about whether the suspect was armed. [Ananova]...
Now We'll Take You Seriously, Lady Soccer
With the top 3 goalies injured or away on national team duty, WPS's Washington Freedom taps coach to play goalie. They win by shutout, of course. [WaPo]...
Sometimes This World Is A Horrible Place To Live
ESPN's official comment on the Erin Andrews situation is this: "Erin has been grievously wronged here. Our people and resources are in full support of her as she deals with this abhorrent act." Mine is after the jump....
Big Leaguers Just Wanna Use Gordon Beckham's Love Tonight
Everyone wants a piece of Gordon Beckham. And by everyone, I mean, of course, the throngs of Chicago women wearing his T-shirt jersey and his fellow big leaguers who are copping his swoon-worthy at-bat music....
William Ligue's Son Still Proud He Beat Up That First Base Coach
They say it's important to live without regret. And one thing Young Bill Ligue does not regret is thrashing an old man on the field at Comiskey Park when he was 15. You just can't manufacture those kinds of memories....
This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Say Hey Kid, In: The Mystery Of The Gay Porn On Air Force One
A Reuters fotog captured this image of Willie Mays's flight on Air Force One, complete with what appears to be three naked men on television. Just what is going on here?...
They Call Him MISTER Pig
Because Deadspin hasn't nearly covered Furries enough this month (exhibits A and B), here's Green Bay's Nick Barnett with some new friends. [Twitter, via reader Tim]...