hi Page 1787 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jason Whitlock Continues To Go After Selena Roberts
Jason Whitlock is mercilessly destroying Selena Roberts for her A-Rod book. First it was in his Kansas City Star column, calling her untrustworthy thanks to her Duke lacrosse coverage. Now, the Dan Patrick show......

The $69 "Price Is Right" For Gynecologist Steelers Fan
Ladies of Pittsburgh—if you're looking for a new doctor to take care of your unmentionable parts, may I suggest not choosing the crazy Steelers fan who made a $69 bid on "The Price Is Right."...

Albert Haynesworth Sued, But No Hard Feelings
The man injured in a car accident involving Albert Haynesworth is suing the Titans lineman for $7.5 million. "He's the man, but I'm still not mad. I don't have anything against him." [Tennessean]...

Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....

Now, Is This Better Or Worse Than "Horry Kow?"
This shirt, worn at Busch Stadium by one cuddly Cardinal fan, was shown off proudly without security hassles. At least the fan with the "Cubs Suck" shirt was forced to turn his inside out. [JSF]...

Maybe The Magical Ponies Are Huge Miami Heat Fans
Courtesy of Runaround Sue's and around 50 other ESPN.com readers who spotted this poll. No, they weren't cornified again....

Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...

And The Mets/Phillies Weekend Yields Predictable Results
Come on, Philly people. Don't throw fucking bottles. [The700Level]...

Sports Feuds Used To Be Much More Macho Than This
Four of the most-loathed things in America (Missouri Tigers, Washington Redskins, sports radio, and Twitter) converge for an epic battle of (t)wits. Susskind and Hawking got nothing on Daniel and Dukes. [NBC Washington]...

T Is For Timeout...Or Maybe Tacos.
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

The Dolphins Will Play In Landshark Stadium
In an effort to turn Dolphin Stadium into the world's largest Margaritaville. Although it's not expected to draw nearly as many people as the bar's other locations. [Miami Herald]...

Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....

The Best Gif You Will See Today
Via SKEETS comes this animated gif of Mike Tyson taking on his greatest foe. It is nothing short of sublime. [YTMND]...

And The Fun Starts Tonight
Mets fans, welcome back to Citizens Bank Park. Tonight is the first game of our meaningless little rivalry that seems to bring out the free-swingers in all of us. First up, El Gonzo, from Philly.com...

An Ill-Informed Betting Guide To The Kentucky Derby
It's that time of year—the five-week period when people who could not care less about horse racing the other 47 weeks of the year suddenly become experts in animal husbandry, gambling and stupid hats....

High School Softball Pitcher Isn't Really Playing Fair
Rachele Fico has thrown five straight no-hitters (the first four were perfect games.) She is 90-2 lifetime with 44 no-nos, 23 perfect games and an ERA of 0.006. In other words—suck it, Schuster. [CanadianPress; pic]...

ESPN Loves This Sort Of Free Publicity
Florida educator Thomas McCoy was suspended from his job because " he was cruising ESPN.com" while two special needs students "went behind a bookshelf and one performed a sex act on the other." [Naples News]...

Guy Lefleur's Idiot Son Gets His Old Man In Trouble With The Law
Legendary Montreal Canadien Guy Lefleur was convicted today of basically lying in court to protect his son, which would be sort of honorable if the kid wasn't so clearly a jackass....

A Weird, Random Thursday Night Spent With The Hipster Grifter, Devoted Utah Jazz Fan
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap. (PHOTO: Will Sherman/AnimalNY)...