hi Page 1812 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Nationals Park
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Nationals Park...

Stupid Child Labor Laws Ruining American Horse Racing
How did Calvin Borel—who has a chance to become the first jockey to win the three Triple Crown races on two different horses—get so good at his job? Because dangerously illegal backwater death tracks made him that way....

Make Some Space On Your CBS Sports Fantasy Teams
Stephen Strasburg wasn't one of The Chosen Ones, but he is otherworldy enough to be one of Washington's starting pitchers before the MLB Draft. In all fairness, CBS' geeksquad was probably just prepping for summer vacation. [CBS Sports]...

Great Moments In Counterfactual History: Derrick Rose’s SAT Scores
Nobody seems to care all that much that Memphis basketball players Derrick Rose and Robert Dozier allegedly cheated on their SATs. But what might have happened if the news had come out a little sooner?...

Tennessee's Ingenious Plan To End The Recession Hits A Snag
Tennessee plans a new tax on professional athletes—but not NFL players because "NFL rules would have penalized the state had it included their guys." Also, the Smokey Mountains to be renamed the Goodell Hills. [On The Forecheck]...

Jim Bowden’s (Extremely Brief) Return To Respectability
Jim Bowden, the disgraced ex-Nationals GM, stands accused of stealing ballplayers' bonus money. The team he built is on pace to lose 118 games. Naturally, ESPN wanted to hire him....

The Problem With Wang
All right that's enough, people. Chien-Ming Wang (pronounced "wong," by the way) has been in the major leagues five seasons now and it has been well established that his surname is an English euphemism for "penis." Ha ha, very funny....

Tracking Bryce Harper's Moonshot
Sports Illustrated claims that Chosen Person Bryce Harper, as a 15-year-old, hit a 570-foot home run in Las Vegas, an anecdote that is equal parts Sidd Finch, Paul Bunyan and Jesus. And I'll be damned: It just might be true....

And Now For One Of The Best Stories You'll Read All Year
Last December we ran an essay by longtime virgin, author and SI columnist Jeff Pearlman about journalist Brian Hickey, who was almost killed by a hit-and-run coward last Thanksgiving....

Relive The Majesty And Terror Of "Ten-Cent Beer Night"
Today, June 4, is the 35th anniversary of the drunkest night in sports history—Ten-Cent Beer Night at Municipal Stadium in Cleveland. What better way to celebrate than getting absolutely blitzed on some cheap Stroh's?...

New Sport Alert: Lithuanian Baby Racing
Combines all the melodrama and excitement of turtle racing, frog racing, or cricket racing but add Lithuanian babies. And their wacky, stuffed-animal waving parent-coaches. It's still not as electrifying as Spanish baby jumping, though. [Major League Jerk]...

A Portrait Of The Columnist As A Young Virgin
Long before John Rocker offered him his thoughts on New York City transit, SI.com columnist Jeff Pearlman was a rosy-cheeked collegian who was more than happy to share his sexual habits with the world....

The Thin Line Between Fan and Fanatic
Let's say you love the Chicago Bears. (Relax....it's just an example.) And let's say you don't mind having a few dozen tattoos on your body. That doesn't logically follow that you need 92 Bears autographs permanently inked in your skin....

Our Band Can Beat Up Your Jocks
Some science egghead says that marching band is just as difficult as football: "You get a level of competition and athleticism that is equal to a Division I athletic program." Someone should give that guy a wedgie. [Reuters]...

Who's Got Next At The White House?
Did you know Barack Obama plays basketball? I certainly didn't. Word on the street, though, is that he's all about playing a little pick-up ball every now and voting day....

John Sterling Still Struggling To Learn Yankees Lineup
"Voice of the Yankees" (as long as you don't own a TV) John Sterling has a made another memorable home run call. Mostly because he used his signature Alex Rodriguez-based "catchpharse" to celebrate a dinger by Hideki Matsui....

Of Softball Coaches And Sheep Feces
Up in Maine, girls can like girls, girls can like boys and girls can like sheep, but, apparently, girls cannot haze their high school softball teams by making their players walk barefoot through sheep feces....

College Coaches Get Cozy In Iraq
Seven coaches — including Mack Brown, Jim Tressel and Rick Neuheisel — are touring the Middle East, and have learned that in Iraq, a glitzy suite is hard to find. Instead of lounging at the Ritz, they're shacking up in one of Saddam's palaces. In bunk beds. [The Zone Blitz]...

Memphis Is Not That Picky About SAT Scores
Memphis spoke up yesterday, saying there's no proof that they or their former players cheated and that kind of honesty should put everything to rest. Until a report today that says a different Memphis player had a shady SAT experience....