hi Page 1814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>Sports Illustrated South Africa</em>'s Quirky New Ad Campaign: Black Panthers, Hitler
It can't be easy marketing an American-style sports magazine in a country only 15 years removed from apartheid, which is probably why Sports Illustrated South Africa feels the need to give the hard sell now. By which I mean, Hitler....

"No Sign Of Any Spirits" In This Milwaukee Hotel
"A player for the Dodgers has been known to sleep with a baseball bat for protection after hearing odd noises. And two pairs of Florida Marlins players reportedly demand to share a room... because they're afraid of ghosts." Sure, blame your losses to the Brewers on a haunted hotel. [WISN]...

Fran Tarkenton <em>Still</em> Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest...
Concerned about any "firestorm" he may have caused with his Favre bashing,Tarkenton returned to 790 The Zone this morning to clarify a few things he said. Actually he just goes on more of a tirade. Today's victims: sports writers, Marcellus Wiley, "Society," and, of course, Favre....

Memphis Accused Of "Major" Recruiting Violation
Hey, John Calapari! I know you were very eager to pack up your stuff and get down to your new, better gig at Kentucky, but I think that in your haste you may have left something behind in Memphis. An NCAA investigation into a fraudulent SAT test!...

Jimmy Johnson: Smilin' Sonuvabitch On The Prowl
Okay, he's not really prowling. But JJ definitely does attract a certain type of woman. The type of woman you'll find at "JJ's Big Chill." [Don Chavez]...

No Gatorade Machine Is Safe From Zambrano's Wrath
Carlos Zambrano did not make it through his start against the Pirates today and neither did the Gatorade dispenser in the Cubs dugout. Carlos gets ejected, but it's always the electrolytes that have to pay the price....

Another Belichick Son Will Experience The Joys Of Alcohol Education Classes
The home life at the Belichick household may become a little turbulent now that 17-year-old Brian Belichick was busted for underage drinking at Gillette Stadium during the NCAA Lacrosse Championships....

Whoops, Sports Aren't So Recession-Proof After All
Turns out, it's proving difficult for the next Theo Epsteins and Jerry Maguires to catapult from frat parties to their dream jobs, so they're stuck cleaning minor league stadiums and taking unpaid internships at women's tennis tournaments. Tell me about it. I would write more, but Daulerio needs lun...

This Is Why Football Does Not Have Innings
A ridiculous experiment in "inning-based" football degenerated into a bench-clearing, crowd-rioting brawl, all because former Michigan quarterback Todd Collins does not understand the basic principles of clock management....

'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...

A Game Of “Healthy Fat Or Unhealthy Fat” With Martellus Bennett
Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend....

College Kid Sleeps On Toilet Before Amazing Runs
College student Justin Weber didn't have a hotel room the night before running a big ten-mile race, so he slept in a port-a-john. Then he won the race in the morning. I don't know about you, but I think that story is a bunch of crap. [The Jock Itch]...

The Evil Umpire: Who Once Called Pitches For Randy Johnson?
Tom Verducci wrote up Randy Johnson in last week's Sports Illustrated and included this odd — and oddly unnoticed — anecdote:...

Carlos Marmol Leaves Team To Be With Wife (Not Pictured: His Wife)
Cub reliever Carlos Marmol is taking a leave of absence from his day job to fly to New York, as his wife is scheduled to give birth there this week. So then who was the very non-pregnant "female companion" he was snuggling with two weeks ago?...

Michael Jordan Loves Chicago Almost As Much As He Loves Nike
An animatronic Jordan doll donned a Blackhawks jersey at the United Center this weekend, to show his support for the "hometown" boys—but not before he had team officials sew a red patch over the Reebok logo. Nothing to see here, Mr. Knight! [Puck Daddy]...

When Will America End The Deadly Scourge Of School Bus Racing?
Forget about NASCAR's restrictor plate insanity—what racing authorities really need to concentrate on is how to keep the time-honored sport of figure-eight school bus races from turning into a degrading carnival side-show. Remember when it used to be about the bus driving?...

The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

This Guy Has Nothing On Clay Zavada
The world's most moustachioed flocked to Anchorage this weekend for the World Beard and Moustache Championship. Unfortunately, the winners forever will have asterisks next to their busts in Alaska, as Clay Zavada was in Oakland, whisker-twinged NHL players are busy and Sarah Palin couldn't make it. ...

Forget Everything You've Ever Known About Eating Competitions
Introducing the Doughman quadrathalon relay: Crab and bacon mac and cheese; fried green tomato sandwich; bacon cheeseburger with chili; candied bacon, strawberry shortcake, chocolate cupcakes. Plus, biking, running and swimming. Don't forget to wear your helmets, and vomiting is "strictly discourage...