hi Page 1846 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
All those who guessed that the cubicle rampage video was a fake, please come collect your winnings ... • MLB: All hail the walkoff grand slam. Everybody say Uggla! Marlins 6, Phillies 2. • Soccer: Wait, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, and Pepe? How can Portugal ever lose? • NFL: I Am Legend ... Will Sm...
Your Deadspin U.S. Open Preview
We don't know much about golf, but we do know that The U.S. Open Is Important. Therefore, with the Tiger Watch teeing off tomorrow, we asked resident golf impresario Shane Bacon, of Dogs That Chase Cars, to preview it for us. So here goes....
Thieves Boost Giants Super Bowl Rings
If you see a decidedly un-athletic-looking character parading around town with a Giants Super Bowl ring — and it's not Eli Manning — then please call your local authorities immediately. It's probably hot; part of the haul from big Attleboro jewelry heist this past weekend....
The Best Way To Ensure Your Child's College Years Get Off To The Right Start
Most of us who had going-off-to-college parties usually had some dinner with family, maybe a house party with friends, and maybe, if we're lucky, our parents would finally relent and spring for Coors Light party ball to build up our alcohol tolerance enough before we begin five years of chronic bing...
The Gateway Grizzlies Will Clog Your Arteries If It's The Last Thing They Do
The team that gave you "Baseball's Best Burger" — a bacon cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme doughnut used as a bun, has done it again. Now available at the Gateway Grizzlies concession area: Baseball's Best Soft Pretzel. And finally, that fifth doctor surrenders. Now five out of five doctors agree th...
Elijah Dukes Has Been Quiet Long Enough
Last week, Elijah Dukes hit a walk-off two-run homer to beat the Cardinals in the second game of a doubleheader. (It really was an awesome game.) Elijah, as Elijah is wont to do, celebrated a bit too vigorously, upsetting an umpire and his manager, Manny Acta. Thus was the fuse lit....
Golfing Hazards That Could Have Maimed A Small Population Of Tennesseeans
Just in time for Father's Day, the Hidden Valley golf course in Tennessee is doing some major upkeep on its course like bunker shaping, filling in deep barrancas, aerating and...bomb removal. Yes, hole number five of Hidden Valley had, according to bulldozer driver Freddie McGee, an "old tube-type b...
About Last Night
What you missed while noticing that the head of the World Health Organization's department of HIV/AIDS has an unfortunate name ... • Ruud van Nistelrooy sends Italians to brink of World Cup qualifying doom. • NFL: In non-Ruud van Nistelrooy news, the Bears cut Cedric Benson. • Agent Zero opts out of...
Vinny Del Fuego Returns To The NBA
We don't know about you, but man, are we ever giddy about the Bulls' hiring of Vinny Del Negro as their new head coach. Vinny Del Feugo! Heavens, how we've missed that guy; NBA Jam never would have survived without him....
Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...
The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......
The Inane "Cubs Fans-White Sox Fans: Who's Hotter?" Debate Rages On
This should make for some interesting conversation at the Pants Party [The Sports Hernia]...
The Internet Hooligan Database Gives You Seven Stars Out of Ten For Bludgeoning
Euro 2008 gets underway today and to head off the inevitable flurry of violence that's just going to happen anyway, authorities in Switzerland have sent out letters of warning to 320 people who are listed on the country's hooligan database....
Cedric Benson Runs Past More Red Lights Than Defenders
Cedric Benson, a month removed from a Sun Chips-fueled boozy boating excursion with mom gone awry, was charged with drunk driving this morning in Texas. This will surely help to build sympathy for him against what he says were trumped up charges issued during the May 3 incident....
Kuroda Is The New Rikishi
This lissome fellow is Mongolian sumo wrestler Hakuho, who looks to be contemplating where to start peeling the foil off the hardball to get to the chocolately goodness within. I've tried Hakuho, it's pretty low-grade stuff. He was one of a group of sumo on hand to watch the Dodgers Hiroki Kuroda d...
Apparently, It Doesn't Pay To Go After Umps
The kid, Matt Hill, was supposed to walk on at Gordon College. Not any more....
Paul Shirley, And The Frustrations Of The NBA Finals In Spain
Former NBA player Paul Shirley is the author of Can I Keep My Jersey?: 11 Teams, 5 Countries, and 4 Years in My Life as a Basketball Vagabond. He is currently in Spain, and writes today for Deadspin about the difficulty of trying to watch Game 1 of the NBA Finals...
The Statue Of Liberty Has Never Looked So ... Ugh
We're just more than a month away from the All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium — and hey, tickets are down to a totally reasonable $29,500! — and MLB is breaking out the big promotional guns. Check out these commemorative beauties....