hi Page 1926 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Evander Holyfield, Still Swinging Away
Holyfield's opponent last night, 41-year-old Lou Savarese, is described here as "durable." Normally a fine adjective, but when applied to a boxer, "durable" sort of means "gets punched in the head a lot." And that's what Evander Holyfield, 3 years older than Savarese, did to him last night....

Fan Protests Can Be Therapeautic
• You Did It, Fans! Last night's fan walk-out at PNC Park magically fixed the Pittsburgh Pirates, I'm happy to report ... either that, or the Nationals just happen to suck worse than the Pirates. The Buccos won 7-2, thanks to a solid performance from Tom Gorzelanny, and also to the 1,000 or so peopl...

Hey, Aramis Ramirez Hit A Home—YeeeeeOW!
The high-five being replaced with the prostate-massage ... long, long, overdue. But if this Cubs winning streaks goes much longer, I shudder to think of what's going to start happening in that dugout. Bat boys are going to have to be replaced with jizzmoppers....

Seriously, Would It Kill You To Sexually Arouse Dick Bavetta?
Isiah Thomas, after stealing Zach Randolph and being complimented by Spike Lee on draft night, enjoyed one day of good publicity. Today, Anucha Browne Sanders, who is suing Isiah for sexual harassment, would like to remind us that Isiah is, in many ways, still a dick....

Bad News For You, Hot Dogs
And bad news for you, too, fans of American sports heroes. Your precious Joey Chestnut's going to have a fight on his hands come July 4th. Kobayashi's going to be in Coney Island, his jaw is going to be healthy and lubricated, and he's going to destroy every nitrate- and sodium-filled pork byproduct...

Come Join Us At The Philly Pants Party
After a bit of a delay, we have the details for the next Deadspin Pants Party, to be held in Philadelphia on Saturday, July 14. It's all official and stuff: You can buy your tickets right here. Game starts at 3:55. We will be there, as will the esteemed balls of A.J. Daulerio....

Joakim Noah Is Already Making Friends
Of all the funny love connections that came out of last night's NBA Draft, the one we were most tickled by was the match of Joakim Noah and the Chicago Bulls. Seriously. Look at that guy. He looks like that before comes into the sanitarium that is the NBA. In six years, he's going to have physically...

He Wasn't A Paid Drug Dealer; He Was Just Volunteering
We like Florida head coach Urban Meyer for many reasons, not least of which is the fact that his first name describes a type of city. (We hope to someday name our child "Rural Juror Leitch.") But the reason we really love him is that EDSBS figures he believes if you kick a player off your team for s...


Looking At The Nationals' Mascot In A Whole New Light
The American Bald Eagle was officially removed from the endangered species list today, meaning that, what, it's now OK to go out and shoot them? Of course not. With one exception, hopefully....

Come "Party" With Daequan Cook
According to the most recent — and, we presume, the final — NBADraft.net projection — Ohio State guard Daequan Cook is slated to be drafted tonight with the 22nd pick by the Charlotte Bobcats. We hope it works out for him, because he's hosting a party tonight, and it's totally gonna be embarrassing ...



Arenas And Durant, Like Burns And Allen
You just know he insisted on that, and that he practiced in a mirror for months to get it exactly right....

It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...

Hirshey: Down And Out In Barcelona
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Paris Hilton Gets Out Of Jail, This Guy Goes In ... It's The Circle Of Liiiffe ...
We knew that once you begin letting fans vote on the All-Star roster, it's only a matter of time before some of them begin leaping onto the field to make pitching changes. This "numbskull," as the Chicago Sun-Times described him, was just a few feet from reaching Cubs pitcher Bob Howry in the ninth ...

Sixty Hot Dogs In 10 Minutes Will Do Wonders On Your Jaw
It's a sad day in the world of competitive eating — and when isn't it a sad day in the world of competitive eating? — because the Babe Ruth of the ingestion of pig lips and assholes, Takeru Kobayashi, is gonna miss the July 4 Coney Island Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. His injury certainly makes a...

O-State Ballaz!
We congratulate the Oregon State Beavers on their second consecutive College World Series title, particularly because they're a bunch of crazy rapping white guys. The video above is of catcher Mitch Canham, who wants to make sure you check out O State Ballaz, the official hip-hop homepage of the 200...