hi Page 648 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Taylor Phinney Refused To Let One Horrible Crash Define Him
American cyclist Taylor Phinney retired yesterday at age 29, ending a decade of professional racing. Phinney’s career is defined by two days in the saddle—one triumphant in 2012, and one tragic in 2014—but the moment that most illustrated Phinney’s talent as a bike rider came between those two poles...
Apologies To This Hockey Child, But I Am His Mother Now
Whether or not to have a child is a complicated and morally questionable decision that each person must weigh carefully. It is a difficult question for most people except for me, because I have decided to adopt this small hockey boy and love him forever. ...
Kyle Shanahan Is Really Going To Enjoy Kicking The Shit Out Of The Skins
San Francisco 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan was Washington’s offensive coordinator from from 2010–2013. I would say he got to experience one of the darkest eras of D.C. football, but they are all dark. Now he’s the coach of a 5-0 team preparing to take on the 1-5 Skins this weekend, so you can’t bl...
Any Interest In Watching This LeBron James No-Look Pass On Loop Every Second Of Every Day Until You Die?
This year’s Golden State Warriors roster is fairly unrecognizable. That is true in the sense that the team is different from last year’s, but mostly in the sense that the average basketball fan will recognize very few people on it. Juan Toscano-Anderson? Is that someone you know? Ah well, all the ea...
Vince Carter Remains Vince Carter, Drains Threes Over Hapless Knicks
If you have not watched a Hawks game on TV lately, you may have missed a number of ESPN graphics reminding you incessantly and in various creative ways that Vince Carter is old, older than his team’s entire roster combined, old enough to be Trae Young’s dad’s dad, so old he played pickup with James ...
Here's A Relay Race Handoff Gone Horribly Wrong
Here’s the rare bungling at this year’s IAAF World Championships in Doha that was not the fault of the event’s corrupt, rapacious organizers. While the Jamaican team sped to victory in last weekend’s women’s 4x100 relay final, the final two runners on the Chinese team seemed to forget how their even...
Gross, Someone Let Their Cat Puke In The Stanley Cup
There’s a long and storied history of NHL players putting gross shit in the Stanley Cup in the offseason after they win it all. But whoever let their cat vomit up this hairy this mound of flesh-colored puke into the Cup yesterday owes everybody an apology. In the past, the trophy’s been filled with...
The Siege And Fall Of A Hoops Haven That Made All The Wrong Enemies
In Philadelphia, a ghost was born....
What Art Briles Brought To The Town That Never Asked For Him
MOUNT VERNON, Texas – There had never been a line like this before. Not here, at least. It was ridiculous, obscene. The first people in line queued up just before 4:30 p.m. They stood there, up against the closed ticket window, huddling underneath the small awning as it poured rain, and then, when t...
Iron-Skulled Lad Scores Header From Beyond Halfway Line
I don’t care that this goal was only possible due to a goalkeeping boner. I don’t care that it was scored in England’s seventh division, where the pitches are much smaller than in the top leagues. I don’t even care that there’s zero chance the scorer meant to do what he did. Regardless of all that, ...
The Dolphins Smashed Their Own Dicks To A Pulp, And Then Smashed Them Some More
This past Sunday, the Miami Dolphins failed so flagrantly, so perfectly, in a game so perversely important that was more meme than matchup, that I don’t actually need to explain what happened to them. But the thing you should know about the Dolphins’ suicide screen pass, which wrapped up their 17-16...
It's The Beginning Of The End For Marcus Mariota In Tennessee
After all the angst over Jameis Winston vs. Marcus Mariota at the top of the 2015 draft, the answer may well turn out to be: neither of them. (Or, possibly: Sean Mannion.) Winston is still doing his thing, alternating brief stretches of competence with mindbending turnovers, while Mariota offers mor...
Nationals Complete Sweep Of Cardinals, Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
The Washington Nationals completed their four-game NLCS sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals Tuesday night, 7–4, and advanced to the franchise’s first World Series. They did it with a seven-run first inning, and then mostly held on for dear life, but they had a bunch of help from the Cardinals themselve...
LeBron James, One Day After Tossing Daryl Morey Under A Bus: "I Won't Talk About It Again"
LeBron James finally spoke on Monday about the outsized controversy surrounding Daryl Morey’s deleted tweet supporting pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong. LeBron’s position was weak and transparently cynical, and he took a justified beating for sharing it, and ultimately spent part of his Monday ...
Theo Epstein Landlord-Tenant Lawsuit Pits Scorpion Infestation Against Home-Befouling Doggo
Cubs executive Theo Epstein is embroiled in a not-at-all-classic security deposit dispute with a landlord whose home in Paradise Valley, Arizona Epstein rented with his family during spring training in 2015. The landlord says Epstein’s small family dog was a prolific piss-monster; Epstein says the h...
This Is Just Some Delightful Baserunning From The Astros
The Houston Astros doubled their lead against the Yankees in the seventh inning of Game 3 this evening, not with the fancy-pants longballs that initially gave them a 2-0 advantage, but with some gritty, scrappy, heads-up baserunning that was unironically delightful to watch. Through just one hit and...
Enormous Dog Rescued After Hiking Too Much
This is Floyd. He weighs 190 pounds. He is safe now....
Notorious MMA Manager Cited For Battery After Allegedly Hitting Another MMA Manager At Event
Multiple MMA outlets reported on a brief physical altercation between two of MMA’s most prominent managers during a Professional Fighters League card Friday night at Mandalay Bay. Ibrahim Kawa of First Round Management told ESPN that Ali Abdelaziz of Dominance MMA approached him in the crowd and sa...
LeBron Made His Choice, And He Chose LeBron
For whatever his faults may be (not being on your favorite team, hubris, brazenly studying the room without trying to hide it, etc.), LeBron James has consistently been a voice of progressive reason, but he has also been relentlessly acquisitive. Thus, no one ought to be nearly so surprised, shocked...
Enes Kanter Appears To Take Shot At LeBron James's China Comments, Says "Freedom Is Not Free"
On the most generous possible read, the NBA-China news cycle has revealed just how little players and coaches have ever considered the ethical stakes of doing business with an authoritarian state. The more cynical read is that they understand these stakes well enough but have decided there’s way to...