hi Page 683 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Draymond Green Wants It Known That He Did <i>Not</i> Scuffle With Drake
Raptors super fan and legendary cornball Drake was an unusually subdued presence during Game 1 of the NBA Finals in Toronto, perhaps because he got a stern talking-to from the league. But, with an assist from a salty Draymond Green, Drake still managed to deliver another meme-able moment after the f...
Raptors Fight Off Every Warriors Push To Grab A Comfortable Game 1 Victory
In retrospect, we had a pretty solid indication that things were turning Toronto’s way in the build up to their Game 1 victory over the Warriors:...
Scottie Pippen Adds Preschooler To Pending Tenant Lawsuit, Alleging Crayon Abuses
Scottie Pippen has added a 5-year-old child to a tenant lawsuit alleging that Pippen’s Fort Lauderdale, Florida home was wrecked up and defiled by, among other things, chaotic crayon and marker scribblings....
South Korea U18 Squad Apologizes For Pretending To Urinate In Panda Cup Trophy, Enraging Chinese Fans
South Korea’s U18 squad was stripped of an international tournament title on Wednesday because of online backlash over photos of the team celebrating with the competition’s trophy in an “indecent” manner....
Large Norwegian Teen Scores Nine Goals In One Game In U-20 World Cup
This is Erling Braut Håland. The 6-foot-3 Norwegian is 18 years old, and he looks like a lock to be cast as Thor in the certainly forthcoming Teen Avengers movie. He also scored nine times in today’s game against Honduras in the U-20 World Cup as Norway romped to a record-breaking 12-0 win....
Rick Pitino Has Had It With These Greek Fans Smoking During His Basketball Games
Disgraced former Louisville Cardinals basketball coach Rick Pitino has spent the past six months or so coaching in Greece, where he’s finding success leading Panathinaikos in the Greek League. It’s a madcap new life filled with unfamiliar new experiences, as detailed in this article from The Ringer ...
The Dodgers Did What They Are Built To Do: Hurt People
You can look at what happened to the Mets in Los Angeles last night—blowing an 8-3 lead in the final three innings and getting walked off by the Dodgers—as yet another example of the hopeless and bumbling Mets hopelessly bumbling to an embarrassing result. That’s fair enough, because the Mets are th...
Royals-White Sox Beef Gains New Life As Pitcher Tossed For Hitting Tim Anderson In The Head
The beef between White Sox shortstop and good bat-flipper Tim Anderson and the Kansas City Royals reared its ugly head again Wednesday night, when Anderson was plunked in the helmet in the second inning by Royals starter Glenn Sparkman. In an effort to get out ahead of any escalating hostility, home...
Report: The Clippers Remain The Most Desperate Suitor In The Kawhi Leonard Sweepstakes
In keeping with his longstanding policy of having absolutely nothing interesting to say about anything, ever, Kawhi Leonard has offered very little indication of where he might prefer to sign his next long-term contract, following the conclusion of these playoffs. There’s been talk of Kawhi preferri...
![Foul Ball Appears To Injure Young Child At Cubs-Astros Game [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gr3zks0quc0fkbpdes6q.png)
Foul Ball Appears To Injure Young Child At Cubs-Astros Game [Update]
During the fourth inning of tonight’s Cubs-Astros game, Chicago outfielder Albert Almora Jr. hit a foul ball into the seats on the third base side of the Houston ballpark. According to those present at the game, that ball hit a small child, who was quickly brought up the stairs by an adult....
Now Here Is A Preposterous Catch From Jonathan Davis
Sure, this insane highlight stab from Blue Jays outfielder Jonathan Davis came in the first inning of Wednesday night’s game at Tampa, but there were some stakes: the out kept two runs off the board after Toronto’s offense gave starter Trent Thornton a 2–0 lead, and got Thornton out of a tight spot....
Deserve's Got Nothing To Do With It When Adults Lose Their Minds Over A Foul Ball
Foul ball and dinger retrieval rights shouldn’t necessarily be decided by merit. The most qualified person in a given section to score a game ball is generally going to be an adult with a baseball glove and a disconcertingly high threshold for self-humiliation. By contrast, the least qualified perso...
Kaapo Kakko Is A Good Teen Who's Too Busy Partying To Go To The NHL Combine
The World Championships were a coming-out party for Kaapo Kakko, who spent the last year tearing up Finland’s top pro league, before proving on an international stage that he can do more than just hang with the world’s best. The 18-year-old winger lit up Worlds for six goals in 10 games as Finland t...
Tim Tebow Chooses To Watch, Stand Fast In The Faith, And Strike Out Looking Against Position Player
When we last checked in with Tim Tebow, he was preparing for professional life full of Triple-A baseball and a personal life full of matrimonial sex. Tebow and his fiancée still haven’t officially tied the knot, so the sex is still on hold, as is the progress of his baseball career. Tebow has been e...
Marlins Cast-Off Derek Dietrich Is Now A Mashing God For The Reds
Derek Dietrich came to the Cincinnati Reds over the winter via a minor league contract, after playing the first six years of his career with the Miami Marlins. This all transpired with very little fanfare, in part because Dietrich has never been an especially consequential player. Before now, that i...
We've A New Contender For The Title Of Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Of All Time
The look on the face White Sox pitcher Evan Marshall, doing the catching for the ceremonial first pitch ahead of Tuesday night’s Royals-White Sox game, tells you something. That is not the expression of a man who has a lot of confidence in the person doing the hurling. That expression says this may ...
Antonio Brown's Unkempt Pittsburgh Lawn Is A Boon To Mother Nature, You Jerks
Mercurial superstar and occasional dick Antonio Brown was granted his trade request by the Pittsburgh Steelers and shipped to the Oakland Raiders back in early March. NFL football being the year-round occupation that it is, Brown is long gone and already participating in optional offseason workouts ...
Raiders Give Richie Incognito His, What, 50th Chance
Offensive lineman Richie Incognito, last with the Buffalo Bills, retired before the 2018 season and said his liver and kidneys were “shutting down.” Today the Oakland Raiders convinced him to return to football and take a one-year, prove-it deal. What that means is that if the signing doesn’t work o...
The Aliens Are Not Real, And Also They're Total Cowards
Maybe you have seen the news that ... well, what, exactly? Near as I can tell the “news” is that lots and lots of Navy pilots have seen UFOs, but that somehow none of them have recorded anything but grainy, indistinct, Classic Arts Showcase–ass video of blurry dots which we’re meant to believe are t...
Can You Eat A Full Meal Without Drinking Any Liquid?
Today, we’re talking about weed, toilet paper, golf, fucking to John Tesh, and more....