hi Page 697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Dolphins Smashed Their Own Dicks To A Pulp, And Then Smashed Them Some More
This past Sunday, the Miami Dolphins failed so flagrantly, so perfectly, in a game so perversely important that was more meme than matchup, that I don’t actually need to explain what happened to them. But the thing you should know about the Dolphins’ suicide screen pass, which wrapped up their 17-16...

It's The Beginning Of The End For Marcus Mariota In Tennessee
After all the angst over Jameis Winston vs. Marcus Mariota at the top of the 2015 draft, the answer may well turn out to be: neither of them. (Or, possibly: Sean Mannion.) Winston is still doing his thing, alternating brief stretches of competence with mindbending turnovers, while Mariota offers mor...

Nationals Complete Sweep Of Cardinals, Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
The Washington Nationals completed their four-game NLCS sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals Tuesday night, 7–4, and advanced to the franchise’s first World Series. They did it with a seven-run first inning, and then mostly held on for dear life, but they had a bunch of help from the Cardinals themselve...

LeBron James, One Day After Tossing Daryl Morey Under A Bus: "I Won't Talk About It Again"
LeBron James finally spoke on Monday about the outsized controversy surrounding Daryl Morey’s deleted tweet supporting pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong. LeBron’s position was weak and transparently cynical, and he took a justified beating for sharing it, and ultimately spent part of his Monday ...

Theo Epstein Landlord-Tenant Lawsuit Pits Scorpion Infestation Against Home-Befouling Doggo
Cubs executive Theo Epstein is embroiled in a not-at-all-classic security deposit dispute with a landlord whose home in Paradise Valley, Arizona Epstein rented with his family during spring training in 2015. The landlord says Epstein’s small family dog was a prolific piss-monster; Epstein says the h...

This Is Just Some Delightful Baserunning From The Astros
The Houston Astros doubled their lead against the Yankees in the seventh inning of Game 3 this evening, not with the fancy-pants longballs that initially gave them a 2-0 advantage, but with some gritty, scrappy, heads-up baserunning that was unironically delightful to watch. Through just one hit and...

Enormous Dog Rescued After Hiking Too Much
This is Floyd. He weighs 190 pounds. He is safe now....

Notorious MMA Manager Cited For Battery After Allegedly Hitting Another MMA Manager At Event
Multiple MMA outlets reported on a brief physical altercation between two of MMA’s most prominent managers during a Professional Fighters League card Friday night at Mandalay Bay. Ibrahim Kawa of First Round Management told ESPN that Ali Abdelaziz of Dominance MMA approached him in the crowd and sa...

LeBron Made His Choice, And He Chose LeBron
For whatever his faults may be (not being on your favorite team, hubris, brazenly studying the room without trying to hide it, etc.), LeBron James has consistently been a voice of progressive reason, but he has also been relentlessly acquisitive. Thus, no one ought to be nearly so surprised, shocked...

Enes Kanter Appears To Take Shot At LeBron James's China Comments, Says "Freedom Is Not Free"
On the most generous possible read, the NBA-China news cycle has revealed just how little players and coaches have ever considered the ethical stakes of doing business with an authoritarian state. The more cynical read is that they understand these stakes well enough but have decided there’s way to...

Stephen Strasburg's Teammates Must Keep Hugging Him Until His Icy Heart Melts
Stephen Strasburg kicked ass last night, striking out 12 Cardinals hitters in seven innings of work and leading his team to an 8-1 Game 3 victory. As you can see in the image above, all that hard work was repaid when he entered the dugout after recording his final out of the night and received a gro...

Juan Soto's Goof In Left Was High Comedy, But Marcell Ozuna's Mattered
For my money, the two best highlights of the Nationals’ 8–1 Game 3 win over the St. Louis Cardinals, a result that makes the rest of this series almost a formality, were bloopers. One looked stupid and hilarious and mattered not at all; the other almost looked like a very cool catch, until it didn’t...

LeBron James Finally Takes Question About China, Responds By Licking The Boot
LeBron James has been silent on the matter of China throwing a massive temper tantrum over Rockets general manager Daryl Morey tweeting and deleting a limp slogan in support of pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong. With the NBA spasming and losing bowel control around him, the world’s most visible ...

Zach Brown Talks Shit About Kirk Cousins, Loses To Vikings, Then Loses His Job
The Eagles released linebacker Zach Brown Monday, a day after their defense was shredded by Kirk Cousins and a Vikings offense that until very recently resembled a headless chicken. The shit-canning is all the more embarrassing for Brown for coming after he ran his mouth about Cousins, and then join...

There's No Good Reason For The Los Angeles Chargers To Exist
That photo right there, of Steelers running back James Conner celebrating a touchdown as teammate JuJu Smith-Schuster breaks it down, wasn’t taken anywhere near Pittsburgh. It’s tough to tell at first because of the sea of black and yellow in the background. But then the powder blue banner and the s...

Ah, Damn, Brad Marchand Actually Did A Frickin' Cool Thing
It’s easy to lose sight of this fact amid the rabbit punches and cup checks and compulsive licking and stick-breaking and general dickishness, but veteran Bruins winger Brad Marchand is really freaking good at hockey. He showed that in part by getting a couple of assists in Boston’s afternoon win ag...

German Soccer Team Releases Player For Supporting Turkish Military Mission Into Syria
Second-division German soccer club St. Pauli are famous for their leftist values. The club demonstrated just how deep those values run on Monday by releasing Turkish player Cenk Şahin after he had publicly supported his country’s deployment of military personnel into Syria last week....

Patrick Mahomes's First Pick Of The Season Happened After A Bizarre, Sketchy Officiating Decision
With the Kansas City Chiefs leading the Texans by a touchdown in the second quarter of Sunday’s game, quarterback Patrick Mahomes drove his team to the edge of the red zone, only to throw it to Houston safety Tashaun Gipson in the end zone. However, officials flagged cornerback Lonnie Johnson Jr. fo...
![The Future Of Adrian Wojnarowski's Tencent Show Is Up In The Air After He "Liked" Daryl Morey's Hong Kong Tweet [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/a6egltyzkdqnyoyq7dwo.png)
The Future Of Adrian Wojnarowski's Tencent Show Is Up In The Air After He "Liked" Daryl Morey's Hong Kong Tweet [Update]
Now that last week’s roiling spat between the Chinese government and the NBA has mostly cooled, the global-sports-industrial complex is back to business as usual. Pre-season NBA games were held in China on Thursday and Saturday and everything went off relatively smoothly (with only a few minor hitch...

The Dolphins Are The Worst Of The Worst
One hurdle lying on its side, rusted and shattered, 11 more left....