hi Page 699 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Mystics Did The Shit
The Washington Mystics used a strong fourth-quarter surge and the interior dominance of series MVP Emma Meesseman to overcome a second-half Connecticut Sun lead, then confidently held the relentless visitors at arm’s length down the stretch to win Game 5, 89–78, and capture the franchise’s first eve...

Reports: No NBA Team Has An "F" In Its Name
Deadspin sources, who requested anonymity for fear of retaliation, confirmed to Deadspin that no NBA team has an “F” in its name. This was discovered when the Deadspin staff was using our work chat to type “F” to pay respects to a dead Macbook charger, as one does. One callow staffer refused to do s...

Rockets Flack Tells Reporter To Stick To Sports After She Asks Players About Political Expression
Russell Westbrook and James Harden each dropped 22 points in the Rockets’ preseason victory over the Raptors in Saitama, Japan. In the postgame presser, CNN’s Christina Macfarlane asked a question of the two players:...

The Inherent Demeaning Effects Of Global Capital, Bootlicking, Things Of That Nature
In a better world, we’d all probably still work a decent amount. Probably not quite as much and definitely not under conditions that work in a thousand different ways to demean and diminish every human involved at every level, while somehow serving to enrich only the worst of those, but in that bett...

Bonesetter Reese And The (Mostly Painless) Birth Of Sports Medicine
Honus Wagner’s career hung in the balance. In 1901, the superstar shortstop was in his second season with his hometown Pirates. But a wrenched knee suffered on the turf at Exposition Park—the Pirates’ home on the north side of Pittsburgh, a few hundred feet from where their current stadium stands to...

Maybe It's Not That Complicated
Over the last few days, many people in the NBA and wider sports media world have settled on a basic talking point when discussing the ongoing international incident that Rockets GM Daryl Morey kicked off when he tweeted a message of support for pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong: It’s complicated...

Cardinals Manager Mike Fucking Shildt Gets All Fucking Riled Up After Beating The Fucking Braves
After the Cardinals tore the Braves a new asshole in Wednesday’s series-clinching 13–1 Game 5 win, Cards manager Mike Shildt ripped them yet another poop valve in his triumphant, fuck-laden postgame talk in front of his team:...

Howie Kendrick Finally Has A Legacy
You’d be forgiven, Nats fans, if you wanted Howie Kendrick out of the game long before his instantly legendary grand slam in the top of the 10th that won the Nationals their first-ever playoff series. Kendrick, despite turning in a pleasant surprise of a 2019 season that saw him become one of Washin...

Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers Choke Away Game 5 In Stunning Fashion
Oh man. The Dodgers absolutely cruised through seven innings at home against the Nationals Wednesday night, in Game 5 of their divisional series. Walker Buehler was once again dominant. Postseason beast Max Muncy and Kiké Hernández pounced on opportunities presented by Stephen Strasburg’s early comm...

Kurt Suzuki Leaves NLDS Game 5 After Taking Deflected Fastball To The Face
Washington Nationals catcher Kurt Suzuki was taken out of Wednesday night’s Game 5 against the Los Angeles Dodgers when a high-and-tight fastball from Walker Buehler deflected off his wrist and into his face in the top of the seventh inning. The impact was audible, and Suzuki crashed to the ground a...

Meatball President Criticizes NBA Coaches For Weak Statements On China, Instead Of Answering Direct Question About China
President Trump was asked a direct question Wednesday about the ongoing and escalating conflict between the NBA and the Chinese government, which started with a seven-word tweet of support for Hong Kong pro-democracy protesters from Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey. Because he is incapabl...

A Brief Interview With A Man Who Faithfully Recreates LeBron's Instagram As If He Were A Giraffe
An artist who goes by “Maso Rich” has produced hyper-faithful, parallel-universe versions of the Instagram accounts of LeBron James and Steph Curry. In these universes, LeBron is a giraffe and Steph, in an inspired bit of casting, is a bush baby. Deadspin spoke with Maso Rich on the phone to underst...

Connecticut Sun Survive Massive Mystics Comeback, Force Winner-Take-All Game 5
Kristi Toliver should have worn a different shirt. The Washington Mystics’ veteran guard was not quiet about her and her team’s intentions as they walked into enemy territory in Connecticut for Game 4 of the WNBA Finals: They wanted to clinch the franchise’s first-ever championship, and they wanted ...

Art Briles Already In Trouble In First Season As Head Coach At Texas High School
It appears disgraced former Baylor head football coach Art Briles has brought scandal to his new team, the Mount Vernon Tigers of the Mount Vernon Independent School District, in (you guessed it) Mount Vernon, Texas. Briles and his high school program were publicly reprimanded by a unanimous six-mem...

Ben Simmons Hit Another Three! (In A Preseason Game) (Against The Guangzhou Loong Lions)
Ben Simmons’s extreme reluctance to attempt shots from outside the paint during his two healthy NBA seasons has been overshadowed somewhat by both the vastly stranger shooting struggles of a fellow 76ers top pick, and by Simmons’s own general two-way excellence. But his shooting stroke has been badl...

Panicked <i>First Take</i> Host Initiates Commercial Break As Stephen A. Smith Brings Up Israel-Palestine Conflict
At the tail end of First Take’s extended discussion today about the ongoing debacle between the NBA and China, Stephen A. Smith had one final take he wanted to get off. He began auspiciously, if not with his trademark eloquence: “I would remind you that, throughout this world, one of the things that...

The Athletic Outrages White Men Everywhere By Censoring Their Opinions On China
The Athletic didn’t publish any articles about Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey’s since-deleted Friday tweet in support of pro-democracy Hong Kong protestors, or about the subsequent manic attempts at damage control by the Rockets owner and the NBA, until a couple days after the controversy began. It ...

Internal Memo: ESPN Forbids Discussion Of Chinese Politics When Discussing Daryl Morey's Tweet About Chinese Politics
If you paid attention to ESPN channels yesterday, you saw the network repeatedly attempt to grapple with the story of Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey creating an international incident after tweeting and then deleting his support for pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong. You heard talki...

Germany Rose And Fell With Bastian Schweinsteiger
Bastian Schweinsteiger was three different players. The German superstar, who announced his retirement from soccer on Tuesday, is leaving behind one of the most peculiar careers in recent soccer memory. From a wide player breaking into Germany’s 2006 World Cup side, to one of the best and most idios...

Who Is Your Favorite Athlete Not On Your Favorite Team?
Today, we’re talking about getting eaten by a whale, state names as first names, typos, Hitler, butter knives, and more....