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Thierry Henry's First Managing Gig Has Turned Into A Complete Disaster [Update]
Thierry Henry’s managerial career is not off to the best start. The former Arsenal legend took over at AS Monaco in France’s top division back in October, with the club in the relegation zone following the firing of former manager Leonardo Jardim. Henry’s task was straightforward, if not easy: keep ...
Some Peon Tries To Hurt Neymar, Gets Humiliated By Neymar
About an hour into Paris Saint-Germain’s Coupe de France match against Strasbourg yesterday, Neymar was clowning on his inferiors with his imperial dribbling skills, as is his wont. Strasbourg midfielder Moataz Zemzemi must’ve taken Neymar’s casual demonstration of superiority personally, because he...
All Hail The Rafael Nadal Banana Shot
Rafael Nadal gored YouTuber Stefanos Tsitsipas 6-2, 6-4, 6-0 today. Their Australian Open semifinal match took just 1:46, but in that span the winner erected a monument to one of tennis’s historic shots: the Rafa banana forehand. Above is as pristine a specimen as has ever appeared in nature....
Derek Carr Seeks Dana White's Help In Challenging Max Kellerman To An "Octagon Fight"
Let us now embark on a tortuous NFL offseason journey that includes all of our favorite dummies and involves a starting quarterback trying to challenge two-thirds of First Take to an “octagon fight.”...
Let's Just Keep Doing This Shit Forever!
There’s no sense in waiting for it at this point. The New England Patriots, who have been shitting up the mid-winter for sports fans throughout this entire terrible millennium, are not remotely close to going away, not any more than, say, measles or famine are close to going away. They’re a problem,...
The NWSL's Worst Club Is Losing Top Draft Picks Because Of Garbage Management
Last season, the NWSL’s Sky Blue FC limped its way to a 1-17-6 record, landing at the bottom of the league table with a whopping -31 goal difference. Despite having USWNT star Carli Lloyd, the 2018 Sky Blue season was the worst in league history: nine total points, “beating” the previous record of 1...
Young USMNT Hotshot Timothy Weah Just Got To Celtic And He's Already Scoring With Ease
Timothy Weah—18-year-old attacking dynamo for the USMNT and Paris Saint-Germain—recently arrived in Glasgow for a half-season loan with Celtic after a few months spent on the fringes of one of the biggest clubs in the world. Earlier this year, he talked about wanting to spend the first half of the y...
The Lost Generation Has Left The Australian Open And Still Looks Quite Lost
The dominance of the Big Four has stunted the winning potential of a promising crop of men’s tennis players who are good, but not that good. This group of twenty-something not-so-hopefuls has earned the shopworn label “Lost Generation.” ...
Trade Marc Gasol To The Lakers
The Memphis Grizzlies are swan-diving at a high rate of speed to the bottom of the West, and according to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski they’re finally ready to see about trading away the two aging faces of the franchise, guard Mike Conley and center Marc Gasol. The team would likely need to get a lot b...
Wow: Sean McVay Was At One Point Even Younger Than He Currently Is
This dude looks like a fuckin’ baby with a woeful haircut! Incredible!...
The Oilers Finally Fired Peter Chiarelli, Who Did So Little With So Much
The Edmonton Oilers under GM Peter Chiarelli have been a slow-motion car crash, in that everyone can see—has seen, and has said so!—his bad moves as they’re happening. There is no hindsight involved here. And they’ve just kept piling up....
Sharks Buzzer Beater Helps Net Them A Crazy Win Against The Capitals
The San Jose Sharks and Washington Capitals both decided not to play defense on Tuesday night, and we were all better off for it, as their game ended in a thrilling 7-6 overtime Sharks victory. It was this close, however, to being a 6-5 Caps win on the strength of an Alex Ovechkin hat trick, until t...
The Memphis Grizzlies Are Circling The Drain
Throughout the first half of the NBA season, the Western Conference standings were an intractable mess, with 14 teams all harboring legitimate hopes of nabbing a playoff spot. Young upstarts like the Mavericks and Kings threatened the balance of power, while established playoff mainstays like the Pe...
High School Whose Students Taunted Predominantly Black School With Trump Flag Dropped Out Of MLK Day Tourney
Students from Jordan High School (Minn.) brought a Trump 2020 flag to a boys basketball game against Minneapolis Roosevelt, a predominantly black school that has been staying in the locker room during the national anthem, last week. The school caught a lot of shit for the fans’ flag and promised to ...
Henry Cejudo Destroyed TJ Dillashaw In Seconds And Made Dana White So Mad
T.J. Dillashaw, ruthless two-time bantamweight king, was going to drop down to 125 pounds, give Henry Cejudo the business, become the company’s latest double champion, and clear the way for UFC czar Dana White to close the flyweight division once and for all. That plan didn’t work....
Kyle Korver Attempts To Inbound Airball, Laughs At His Own Goof
It’s open season on any clown shooting higher than 41 percent from three. The newest victim is old man Kyle Korver, who either thought this ball had already landed out or believed Damian Lillard’s airball had actually gone in, because he grabbed the ball and immediately stepped out as if to inbound....
What Story Does The Baseball Hall Of Fame Want To Tell?
The National Baseball Hall of Fame is a museum commemorating a particular professional iteration of an old American game; the long room of bronze plaques featuring the ballplayers that various groups of voters have decided over the years have sufficient “fame” is a part of it, but also something ver...
Here's Steph Curry Legitimately Sucking At Basketball For A Few Precious Seconds
The Warriors are 33-14, Boogie is back, and they beat the Lakers 130-111 last night behind 44 points from Klay Thompson. These guys are almost definitely going to win the title again, and so the only thing non-Warriors fans can do while waiting for the inevitable is grab hold of as many brief moment...
Don't Doubt What You Saw With Your Own Eyes
Two days ago, video was posted online that pretty much everyone who saw immediately recognized for what it was—footage of white teens taunting and harassing a Native American elder named Nathan Phillips on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. What was happening was clear and unmistakable, not just res...
Report: Carmelo Anthony Has Been Dug Out Of The Crawl Space And Placed On The Corner
Hey, remember Carmelo Anthony? After a decidedly bad season in Oklahoma City, where he was supposed to help put the Thunder into title contention, he went to Houston with the intention of providing some shooting and keeping the Rockets in title contention. That pipe dream lasted mere weeks before he...