hi Page 829 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Myles Turner Is A Big Bad Man
The Pacers are a lot of fun. Six of their rotation guys average at least 11 points per game, and their offensive rating has climbed to sixth in the NBA. A big part of their success on that end is a pair of bigs, in Myles Turner and Domantas Sabonis, who can stretch the floor without taking much off ...
Remaining UCLA Shoplifters Suspended For Season, Will Not Be Exiled To Friggin' Lithuania
The non-Ball-family participants in the infamous China shoplifting incident that eventually led to LiAngelo Ball leaving UCLA have been suspended for the remainder of this college basketball season, according to ESPN:...
Tom Brady Gets Snappy When Asked About His Sketchy Guru's Rift With Bill Belichick
The Boston Globe recently revealed that Tom Brady’s extremely sketchy personal fitness guru Alex Guerrero was banned from the Patriots’ planes and sidelines. Guerrero, a modern snake oil salesman, seems to have irritated head coach Bill Belichick, which has naturally led to speculation about how Br...
Bless This Oafish Koch Heir And His Hideous Shirts
Because it is so cruel and so stupid, so petty and also so astonishingly vast, it is difficult to fully get a handle on the $1.5 trillion tax bill that the Republicans pushed through the House and Senate on Wednesday. A disconcerting number of little fees and insults in the bill are only now becomin...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Poor Bloke's Escalator Odyssey From Hell
Rarely does any scenario become worse after your dick and balls get smashed to hell. But our friend here, wearing what appears to be a Bristol City or maybe an England kit, was only beginning to get acquainted with true pain when he went airborne....
Report: Carmelo Anthony Used To Snooze Through Phil Jackson's Mindfulness Routines
Over at ESPN, Ian Begley has chronicled the festering relationship between former Knicks boss and unbearable weed pedant Phil Jackson and former Knicks star Carmelo Anthony. It’s a long string of satisfying anecdotes but my favorite one captures the purest essence of both characters:...
Police Documents Detail Another Time Michigan State Failed To Stop Larry Nassar
More than two years before the serial sexual abuse of athletes by USA Gymnastic and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar became widely known and discovered, the university failed to protect the women in his care. Police reports, originally obtained by the Lansing State Journal, show that Michigan Stat...
Dana White Is Boasting About Signing Floyd Mayweather To A UFC Contract
Floyd Mayweather, a boxer who lies about being retired, has taken all of four months to start speculating about his next fight. He recently said that he has an offer from the UFC, and Dana White talked to ESPN’s Brett Okamoto today to continue hyping up a mixed martial arts debut for the famously br...
Report: Curt Schilling's Charity Ditched A Hurricane Harvey Relief Trailer That Didn't Even Belong To Him
Former pitcher and part-time gamer Curt Schilling sprung into action after Hurricane Harvey hit Houston in August. He asked for donations to his charity Operation Bullpen, filled up trailers, and drove to Texas with volunteers. Schilling was briefly hindered in Tennessee, however, when one of the tr...
I Can't Wait To See Tech Dweebs Own Themselves By Wearing These Things On Their Faces
Listen. I am old. And one of the things that happened along my way to becoming old was that I recognized, and even came to derive some comfort from recognizing, that the things I value—privacy, the company of my loved ones, good health, not having what look like limo-tinted jeweler’s glasses from th...
University Of Detroit Commit Calmly Breaks Rim On Breakaway Slam
Pickerington Central’s (Ohio) Adrian Nelson, who’ll be a Detroit Titan next year, delivered a literally show-stopping highlight tonight in his game against Groveport Madison. Given the opportunity for a wide-open dunk, Nelson showed off his strength (and maybe some weakness in the Groveport gym) by ...
Report: Tom Brady's Quack Doctor Banned From Patriots' Planes And Sidelines
Alex Guerrero has maintained a strange relationship with the Patriots since 2013. He operates the TB12 therapy center next to the Patriots stadium, where he treats players, and his relationship with Brady affords him access to Patriots sidelines and the team plane. However, a day after rumors surfac...
New World Chess Championship Logo Says, "Hey, Let's Fuck"
Have you heard? Chess fucks. And chess wants you all to know that it fucks, so it has graciously made it very clear in the logo for the upcoming 2018 World Chess Championship....
Ohio State Forced To Stop Recruiting Top Recruit After Obscure Kirk Herbstreit Photo Violation
Micah Parsons is considered one of the best high school football players in the country. The defensive end is ranked as the seventh-best overall prospect by ESPN and fourth overall by 24/7, and before today, he was considering joining Ohio State. However, Ohio State has agreed to stop recruiting Par...
11-Year-Old Boca Juniors Academy Player Scores Olímpico
The U-12 Prospects Cup is underway right now on our corporate parent Univision Deportes, and the tournament that matches U.S. academy teams against some of the world’s most famous squads has been full of highlights from the next generation of soccer’s best. ...
Larry Nance Jr. Obliterates Kevin Durant With A Huge Dunk
Larry Nance Jr., you’re a hero for this one....
Ben Simmons Is Still Not Shooting Jumpers
Playing without Joel Embiid tonight, Ben Simmons had 19 points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists. It was the fourth triple-double of his NBA career....
Here Are The Most George Lucas-Ass Names In The NFL
For all the things that he has gotten wrong in his career as a mythmaker and world-builder and filmmaker and Extremely Satisfied-Seeming Beard-Haver, George Lucas has gotten the big things right. He’s seemingly constantly borne aloft on a cloud of oblivious self-regard, but also he created Star Wa...
Tom Brady Sidesteps Question About Whether His Quack Guru And Belichick Have Beef
The scuttlebutt around the Patriots, per recent media reports, is that Bill Belichick isn’t too fond of Tom Brady’s quack personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero. (Guerrero is the “brains” behind the pseudoscience upon which Brady’s bullshit wellness program is built.) According to Pro ...