hi Page 847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Can't Bully These Motherfuckers
When I write that CNN politics writer Chris Cillizza is the rankest assbrain in the Western Hemisphere, I am not being nice to him. When I write that God clowned Chris Cillizza before he was born by making him Chris Cillizza instead of a shit-eating maggot, I am being unkind. When I say that Chris C...
Isn't This A Goal? It Sure Looks Like A Goal
Soon after the Capitals killed a Penguins power play, at about the 11-minute mark of the third period of today’s Game 2, with the Capitals holding a 3-1 lead, the Penguins scored what sure looked an awful lot like a goal:...
Unconventional Blue Jays Double Play Follows Just The Luckiest Catch
In the top of the first inning of today’s Rangers-Blue Jays game, with Delino DeShields Jr. on second base, Rangers second-baseman Isiah Kiner-Falefa slapped a flare to shallow right field, where Blue Jays outfielder Randal Grichuk came charging in to make a heroic play. And make a play he sure did,...
The Warriors Revved Up And Beat The Pelicans At Their Own Game
There was a short period during the first quarter of Saturday’s Game 1 between the Pelicans and the Warriors when it looked like the Warriors were a little flustered by New Orleans’s frenetic pace. That five-game first-round series with the Spurs was downright sluggish, by Warriors standards: at 95....
![Mischievous Dong Photobombs Marathon Photo Finish [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/aleqwnjii3sxqqbdtbj0.png)
Mischievous Dong Photobombs Marathon Photo Finish [NSFW]
The 2018 Christie Clinic Illinois Marathon was held Saturday in Champaign, and featured a virtually unheard of finish: runners Tesfaalem Mehari and Wilson Chenwono crossed the finish line at the same instant, and the result was ruled a tie. The runners will reportedly split the combined purse for fi...
Pablo Sandoval Pitched A Perfect Inning, And It Was Just Fucking Perfect
Saturday’s slate of Major League games featured a number of hideous blowouts. The White Sox crushed the Royals by eight runs in Kansas City. The Rays scored 12 runs on 18 hits against the Red Sox. The Dodgers scored 15 runs and beat the Giants by nine. The Mariners beat the Indians by eight. The Ast...
All Hail Franchy Cordero, San Diego's Dong-Smashing Superhero
Excellently named Padres outfielder Franchy Cordero can sure launch a goddamn tater. He plays in San Diego, which is as obscure a professional baseball outpost as you can find without going to the minors, but we should all be paying attention to young Franchy. According to Statcast, Cordero has alre...
Eagles Use Late Draft Pick On Humongous Rugby League Man
The late stages of the NFL player draft are for kickers and special-teamers, and for taking fliers on long-shot contributors. Saturday afternoon the Super Bowl-champion Eagles made the long-shot-est of long-shot selections in the 7th round of the 2018 draft when they selected the gigantic and tanta...
Oklahoma Softball Scores Unconventional Run
The third-ranked Oklahoma softball team beat the Texas Longhorns by a score of 7-1 today. The win featured a grand slam, but the highlight of the game is this here example of extremely creative base-running, by senior catcher Lea Wodach, who scored the go-ahead run in extremely unconventional fashio...
The Raptors Finally, Mercifully Spared Us Any More Of The Washington Wizards
The Wizards, who won 43 games during the regular season—that’s three fewer than the Denver Nuggets, who failed to make the playoffs in the much tougher Western Conference—and were the Eastern Conference’s 8th seed, were eliminated on their home floor by the Toronto Raptors Friday night. ...
Shohei Ohtani's Dinger-Smoking Heroics Cut Short By Injured Ankle
Shohei Ohtani smoked another home run Friday night, his fourth of the season. This one came off a sizzling 97-mph fastball from Yankees pitcher Luis Severino that appeared to be well off the plate inside:...
A Cool Thing Jayson Tatum Does A Lot
One of the best ways for a basketball scorer to shake free from a committed defense is to catch the ball while on the move, instead of from a stationary position, so that his individual defender and the broader opposing defense don’t have time to get between him and a good look at the basket. ...
Aussie Teen Delivers Wicked Scorpion Goal
Nineteen-year-old Riley McGree, born in Gawler and currently on loan with the Newcastle Jets, earned himself a bonzer golazo against Melbourne City with an inspired scorpion-kick finish that had the whole crowd, and an announcer, marveling at its freakishness....
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Mighty Morphin Power Rangers</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
Jaire Alexander Was SO Excited For Lamar Jackson
Hello, here is a nice thing....
WWE Is In A Fight To Control The Future Of British Wrestling
On Wednesday, various British news outlets reported that ITV has commissioned a 10-episode reboot of World of Sport Wrestling, which aired for decades on the network before a 1988 cancellation. This is a big deal. As popular as pro wrestling is in the United Kingdom, WWE doesn’t actually have a huge...
Penguins Remind Us That The Capitals Can Never Relax
Behind a lead-off goal 17 seconds in from Evgeny Kuznetsov, and a sniper shot at the start of the third from Alex Ovechkin, the Capitals were cruising tonight with a two-goal lead in Game 1 of their second-round series against the Penguins. But in the span of five minutes, it all fell apart, as thre...
One-Handed MMA Pro Nick Newell Will Get A Shot At Making The UFC
Judging strictly from his professional MMA record, Nick Newell should really be in the UFC. The Connecticut native is 14-1, finishing 11 of his fights in the first round, and losing only to UFC face-masher extraordinaire Justin Gaethje. That’d seem to make him an obvious addition to the roster, but ...
The All-Too-Brief Basketball Career Of Reggie Rose
On Monday night, TNT play-by-play man Kevin Harlan welcomed Reggie Rose to the NBA, excitedly shouting his name on several instances. Signed by the Timberwolves, Reggie Rose scored 17 points in a Game 4 loss to the Rockets, and somehow, in his NBA debut, already appeared to be on his last legs....
Leonys Martín Hits Dong, Then Hits Dong
Leonys Martín led off today’s Tigers-Pirates game with a big home run, but it came at a price. On the fourth pitch of the game, Martín ricocheted a pitch off the plate into his dick and balls. He rolled around for two minutes afterward and had a hard time standing back up....