hi Page 883 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phil Jackson's Favorite Stooge Tries To Sell A Kristaps Porzingis Trade
Knicks fans reached a new level of panic last night when Phil Jackson, currently inhabited by an ancient Sumerian god hell-bent on destroying basketball in New York City, gave an interview in which he assured everyone that, yes, he is seriously considering trading Kristaps Porzingis, a 21-year-old, ...
Odubel Herrera Just Doesn't Give A Fuck, Runs All The Way Around Stop Sign
With the Phillies and Cardinals tied in the bottom of the ninth inning tonight, Freddy Galvis came to bat for Philadelphia with teammate Odubel Herrera on first base and two outs. A double to left field, with third base coach Juan Samuel giving Herrera a very clear sign to stop safely at third, woul...
An Update On Phil Jackson's Idiot Crusade To Ruin Everything Good For The Knicks
By the hour, it looks less and less likely that the Knicks will decide to keep the best thing they have going for them—Kristaps Porzingis, the young budding star whom they want to trade away for... a draft pick in order to acquire Josh Jackson of Kansas, per the latest from Adrian Wojnarowski of Yah...
Addison Russell's Wife Files For Divorce,<em></em> Will Not Participate In MLB Investigation<em></em>
Earlier this month, MLB announced they would be looking into claims that Cubs shortstop Addison Russell had abused his wife. Melisa Russell accused her husband of cheating on her in a post on Instagram, and a friend of hers claimed in the comments that Addison had hit her in front of their kids. Mel...
Max Scherzer Loses No-Hitter, Game, In Infuriating Fashion
Max Scherzer came very close to throwing a no-hitter while you were eating lunch. And then, with one out in the eighth inning, everything went to shit. It was a quintessential Max Scherzer game until it wasn’t, and it was yet another display of Dusty Baker’s peculiar judgment. ...
Report: Kawhi Leonard's Braids Intact
Yesterday a photo of an apparently braid-free Kawhi Leonard was circulated on Twitter. The Spurs star was practically unrecognizable without his trademark cornrows. Some outlets reported that the haircut did not look very good....
Sunscreen Is So God Awful Stain-y It Almost Ruins Summer
Sunscreen stains depress me, you guys. But they happen, and we need to talk about why, and what to do about them, so we did....
Bill Belichick Finds Another Way To Stick It To The Jets
There’s a straight line to be drawn from the Patriots’ signing today of David Harris, a respected veteran inside linebacker who had been unceremoniously dumped two weeks ago as part of the Jets’ roster purge. That line takes you back. It runs you through tampering charges, Darrelle Revis’s Super Bow...
Sam Hinkie Leveraged The Orbit Of The Earth To Effectuate Snow Disruption
It’s been a good week for Sixers fans. The team used just one first-rounder from its draft-pick surplus to move up to the No. 1 spot in the NBA Draft, where it will take Markelle Fultz. That gives the team a young corps of Fultz, Ben Simmons, Dario Šarić, and, of course, Joel Embiid. No one really k...
Look At This Fucked Up Strawberry I Bought
The berry is as big as my palm....
Packers Fan Suing The Bears: “This Is Not Some Noble Crusade”
Monday night, I wrote about the lawsuit a Packers fan had filed against the Bears. Russell Beckman, a Wisconsin resident who is also a Bears season ticket holder, is suing the team because, he claims, they prevented him from going on the field in his Packers gear....
Marian Hossa May Be Done, And That's Pretty Convenient For The Blackhawks
Chicago Blackhawks winger Marian Hossa announced this morning that he will not play in the 2017-18 season because of a skin condition and the effects of medication he takes to treat it. The Blackhawks are losing a still-very-capable veteran player, and it may mark an abrupt end to Hossa’s hall of fa...
Evan Turner Has The Ultimate Phil Jackson Thought Experiment
Imagine: The year is 2017. You are the president of a dysfunctional NBA franchise, seemingly with no professional goals other than increasing the dysfunction of said franchise and maniacally preaching the virtues of triangles. You do not consider yourself beholden to your players or fans or, really,...
De'Aaron Fox's Dad Isn't Having Any Of LaVar Ball's Bullshit
De’Aaron Fox will almost certainly be a top-five pick in Thursday night’s NBA draft, although this draft is silly with point guards and he will likely be the third lead guard selected. It’s inevitable that Fox will be judged alongside Markelle Fultz, Lonzo Ball, and Frank Ntilikina as this class of ...
Golfer Has Takes On Police Shootings<em></em>
Professional golfer Grayson Murray, last seen flirting towards a high schooler on Twitter then deleting his tweets and apologizing, is once again following through on his promise to be more active online. Tonight’s subject: the dashcam footage that shows a police officer murdering Philando Castile, ...
Kristaps Porzingis Has Produced The Only Relatable Athlete Workout Videos
This afternoon LeBron James posted a video of himself kneeling on a rubber sphere while waggling a large rubbery wand, that, per our own Tim Burke’s experiences, is liable to knock you right on your ass should you stop waggling it at the right rate. Every fiber of James’s action-figure torso strains...
Run, Don't Walk, To Trade For Jimmy Butler
The Golden State Warriors have been champions for one week, and the rest of the NBA is already scrambling to get in position to beat them next year. The Cavs have spent the past few days on a nonsensical roller coaster, flirting with soon-to-be ex-Pacer Paul George then self-immolating and stunting ...
Report: Lane Kiffin Was Famously Chewed Out By Nick Saban For Calling His Players "Dumb"
Phil Savage may have been a lousy NFL general manager—the former Browns GM traded up for Brady Quinn and replied to a fan email with “Go root for Buffalo-f#@* you,”—but he does have some pretty good Lane Kiffin goss. ...
Put Phil Jackson In Jail And Then Put The Jail In Space
Phil Jackson had millions of sad, tri-state area sphincters clenching after an April presser when he said there was no player on the Knicks who was safe from the trading block. They stayed clenched when Kristaps Porzingis skipped his exit meetings, apparently frustrated after wading through this sew...
Politics Watch: How About A Chuckle?
Everything about politics and the world in general is pretty bad right now. Walk up to me and say the word “politics” and I’ll say to you, “No sir! No ma’am! I’d rather not!”...