hi Page 886 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bixby School District Superintendent Resigns Amid High School Football Rape Case
Three months after a 16-year-old boy in Oklahoma was allegedly raped with a pool cue by his Bixby High School football teammates at the superintendent’s home during a team function, the school board’s only “disciplinary action” so far has been to accept the resignation of the superintendent, Kyle Wo...
Shinji Kagawa Savagely Nutmegs Little Boy So Many Times That The Kid Starts Crying
Add this video to the growing pile of evidence that the baby-faced, fun-loving Shinji Kagawa takes no prisoners on the soccer pitch, not even when facing children:...
The Best Things We Heard In 2017
When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we listened to some stuff. Here are the best things we heard this year....
Tyson Chandler Dunks Off The Inbound Pass For Last-Second Win
Tyson Chandler helped the Suns finish off the Grizzlies tonight with a sweet last-second dunk straight from the inbound pass....
The Best Things We Watched In 2017
When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we watched some things. Here are the best things we saw this year....
Why Does Jon Gruden Think The Philadelphia Stadiums Are "Downtown"?
Philadelphia teams have been tanking incompetently since before Sam Hinkie was alive. The 1968 Eagles started out 0-11 and looked like a lock to draft O.J. Simpson No. 1 overall. Then they won two straight to ensure that the Bills would have the top pick. In their 14th and final game that year, a yo...
The Best Things We Read In 2017
When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we did some reading. Here are the best things we read this year....
DeAndre Hopkins Makes A Catch To Remember
It’s mostly been a forgettable night for the Texans, but DeAndre Hopkins added some sparkle to the festivities with an incredible circus catch that held up after the mandatory video review. Congratulations, everyone, you have a new “tale of the glories” to tell at Christmases long to come. Imagine w...
The SEC Network Yule Log Is Our Nation's Greatest Contribution To Avant-Garde Cinema
My family only has a few Christmas traditions, among them cinnamon rolls, trips to the dog park, bike rides, and yard work. But the most important tradition—one that gets us up early on Christmas morning—is the SEC Network Yule Log, which is just like other yule log broadcasts except that the orches...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
If it’s Christmas, it must be time to learn what America shoved inside itself. The only worthwhile holiday tradition pushes on....
Andy Reid Did A Press Conference Dressed As Santa
The Chiefs clinched the AFC West with a 29-13 win over the Miami Dolphins today. It’s the first time the Chiefs have won consecutive AFC West titles. To celebrate, Andy Reid entered the locker room dressed as Santa Claus....
The Upstart Sixers Are Having A Bad Time
The Sixers were a trendy pick to make a run at the top half of the Eastern Conference playoff field this season, to such a degree that Sixers fans and Sam Hinkie loyalists were doing preseason touchdown dances about signs of arrival as abstract as the drafting of Markelle Fultz and the extension of ...
Myles Turner Is A Big Bad Man
The Pacers are a lot of fun. Six of their rotation guys average at least 11 points per game, and their offensive rating has climbed to sixth in the NBA. A big part of their success on that end is a pair of bigs, in Myles Turner and Domantas Sabonis, who can stretch the floor without taking much off ...
Remaining UCLA Shoplifters Suspended For Season, Will Not Be Exiled To Friggin' Lithuania
The non-Ball-family participants in the infamous China shoplifting incident that eventually led to LiAngelo Ball leaving UCLA have been suspended for the remainder of this college basketball season, according to ESPN:...
Tom Brady Gets Snappy When Asked About His Sketchy Guru's Rift With Bill Belichick
The Boston Globe recently revealed that Tom Brady’s extremely sketchy personal fitness guru Alex Guerrero was banned from the Patriots’ planes and sidelines. Guerrero, a modern snake oil salesman, seems to have irritated head coach Bill Belichick, which has naturally led to speculation about how Br...
Bless This Oafish Koch Heir And His Hideous Shirts
Because it is so cruel and so stupid, so petty and also so astonishingly vast, it is difficult to fully get a handle on the $1.5 trillion tax bill that the Republicans pushed through the House and Senate on Wednesday. A disconcerting number of little fees and insults in the bill are only now becomin...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Poor Bloke's Escalator Odyssey From Hell
Rarely does any scenario become worse after your dick and balls get smashed to hell. But our friend here, wearing what appears to be a Bristol City or maybe an England kit, was only beginning to get acquainted with true pain when he went airborne....
Report: Carmelo Anthony Used To Snooze Through Phil Jackson's Mindfulness Routines
Over at ESPN, Ian Begley has chronicled the festering relationship between former Knicks boss and unbearable weed pedant Phil Jackson and former Knicks star Carmelo Anthony. It’s a long string of satisfying anecdotes but my favorite one captures the purest essence of both characters:...
Police Documents Detail Another Time Michigan State Failed To Stop Larry Nassar
More than two years before the serial sexual abuse of athletes by USA Gymnastic and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar became widely known and discovered, the university failed to protect the women in his care. Police reports, originally obtained by the Lansing State Journal, show that Michigan Stat...
Dana White Is Boasting About Signing Floyd Mayweather To A UFC Contract
Floyd Mayweather, a boxer who lies about being retired, has taken all of four months to start speculating about his next fight. He recently said that he has an offer from the UFC, and Dana White talked to ESPN’s Brett Okamoto today to continue hyping up a mixed martial arts debut for the famously br...