hi Page 963 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sergio Garcia Wins Masters In Playoff, His First Major In 74 Attempts
Sergio Garcia overcame choking an easy putt to win at 18 by beating Justin Rose in the first playoff hole to claim the Masters title and his first major championship after failing in his first 73 appearances....

Matt Kuchar Moves Into Masters Third Place With Hole-In-One On 16
Matt Kuchar aced Augusta National’s 16th today, elevating the PGA pro to third place at the Masters and completing the 11th hole-in-one on that hole in the past 14 years. His prize is some sunscreen....

Marc Albrighton Free Kick Stunner Caps Wild Opening Ten Minutes Of Everton-Leicester City
Four goals have been scored in the first 24 minutes of today’s Everton-Leicester City match, but none more impressive than Marc Albrighton’s free kick that beat Joel Robles in the tenth minute. That’s after a streaking Kevin Mirallas set up Tom Davies in the opening minute to give Everton a short-li...

Jeremy Guthrie Had A Truly Terrible Birthday
Yesterday was Jeremy Guthrie’s 38th birthday. It was also his first major-league start since September 2015. It went amazingly, historically poorly....

Let's See How The Nationals Game Is Going
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White Sox Offer Contest Winner Used Gordon Beckham Shoe
Chicago White Sox home-game announcers Jason Benetti and Steve Stone are one of the better tandems in the game right now—funny, informative, and straight with viewers about just what it is they’re watching without being so straight it becomes depressing. You get the sense that takes some work at tim...

USA Reigns Supreme Again After Overtime Win Over Canada In World Championship Final
The United States women’s hockey team is world champions again after Hilary Knight scored ten minutes into overtime to defeat Canada, its opponent in the previous 17 world championship finals....

Judge Blocks Gag Order Forbidding All "Potential Witnesses" Against Larry Nassar From Speaking
A federal judge in Michigan has temporarily blocked a gag order banning “all current and potential witnesses” in a criminal case involving disgraced gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar from speaking out. In her ruling today, U.S. District Court Judge Janet Neff said she was approving the request for the ...

Ben Simmons Says He's Nearly Seven Feet Tall Now
When Ben Simmons was picked first overall in the 2016 draft, he was listed at 6-foot-10. Unfortunately we haven’t seen much of him since. What was the 20-year-old doing in that time, besides waiting for his foot bones to heal? Becoming larger....

For The 18th Straight Time, USA And Canada Will Be In The Women's Hockey World Championship Final
The U.S. women’s hockey team extended their run in the 2017 IIHF World Championships last night, trouncing Germany in the semifinals to set up a meeting in the gold medal game tonight against their old rival Canada, who they’ve faced in every final of the event’s 17-year history. ...

Check Out This Mammoth Cricket Dong
Chris Lynn is absolutely raking for his Kolkata Knight Riders squad in today’s Indian Premier League bout against Gujarat Lions, but nothing sparked the Lynn-Sanity (and yes, that’s what they’re calling it) more than this massive six that the Australian clubbed into the second deck....

Chelsea Training Features Sack-Tapping, Shit-Wrecking Hijinks
David Luiz and Diego Costa are, by all physical appearances, large adult men. Judging them by their behavior, though, you’d think they were mentally somewhere between the ages of 4 and 13. For evidence of this, here is Luiz whacking teammate John Terry in the nuts for fun:...

U.S. Strikes Pound Russian Defense
The U.S. has relentlessly pounded Russia’s defense with strikes as the American women commanded the first half of their international friendly tonight, carrying a 3-0 lead into halftime....

Tim Tebow Kills Baseball In First At-Bat; Ball Passes Over Outfielders' Heads For Home Run<em></em><em></em>
Tim Tebow, author and former college football quarterback, kicked off his time with the class-A Columbia Fireflies this evening with a bang. The motivational speaker stepped up to the plate against the Augusta Greenjackets and socked a dinger in his very first at-bat....

White Sox Outfielder Avisail Garcia Attempts To Catch Ball
Lumbering Chicago White Sox right fielder Avisail Garcia can here be observed trying to catch a ball in today’s game against the Detroit Tigers. He scored two runs today, so it comes out in the wash....

Leaked Voicemail: Phil Mickelson Plans To Hustle Suckers For "Some Serious Cash"<em></em>
Phil Mickelson is the same guy on the golf course as off, meaning that he gambles no matter where he is. Wherever Phil lays his bets is his home....

Soccer Pundits Appropriately Bewildered By Referee's Penalty Boner
Newcastle United played Burton Albion yesterday in a match noteworthy only for one particularly galling error made by head referee Keith Stroud. These Sky Sports pundits discussing the mistake on air were just as bemused by the incident as the moment called for....

Cardinals Surrender Lead Due To Yadier Molina Being Extremely Sticky
Matt Szczur reached base for the Cubs today when, in the top of the seventh inning, Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina was unable to corral a third strike in the dirt. The reason Molina couldn’t find the ball to put Szczur out at first? It was stuck to his belly....

DEA Obtusely Uses High School Wrestler's Death To Promote Anti-Drug Website
Yahoo has a story about Drew Gintis, a high school wrestler who started taking Oxycodone as a senior. His doctor prescribed it to him after a shoulder injury that ended his wrestling career. At 21, he died from a fentanyl overdose....

Jay Bruce: Anal Power
The Mets lost to Atlanta last night in extras, but not before Jay Bruce leveraged anal power to launch a big dinger off Bartolo Colón. Your music is the appropriately titled “Anal Power” by Czech death metal group Törr, from their 1992 album Chcípni O Kus Dál....