hi Page 986 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
J.D. Martinez Nails Jay Bruce At The Plate To End Game
Jay Bruce tested J.D. Martinez, and that was a bad idea. Down a run, with two men on with two outs in the ninth inning, the Mets’ Travis d’Arnaud hit a grounder through the right side. Bruce steamed around third, and Tigers right fielder Martinez came up throwing:...
Giancarlo Stanton Just Jerked The Mightiest Dong Of The Season
Are you sitting down? Okay....
These Archery Outfits Are Dope
In some Olympic sports, the competitors are clad in nothing but little tiny swimsuits. In some, they are covered head-to-toe in protective gear. There’s a wide spectrum of outfits, from cycling’s skintight spandex to boxing’s obtrusive headgear, but one group of athletes stands above all challengers...
The True Story Of The Fall Of Rome Is A Hell Of Lot Better Than The Hollywood Version
If you were ever forced to sit through a high school or college history class, you probably heard the story of the fall of the Roman Empire. At best, you remember that savage, fur-clad barbarians poured through the gates of a rotting, decrepit empire and snuffed out the light of civilization for a t...
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Padres Chairman Continues To Shit On Players Who Didn't Live Up To His Expectations
There are a lot of big dumb assholes involved in major league baseball. This guy, for example. For whatever reason, Padres executive chairman Ron Fowler, an old man nobody had ever heard of until a few months ago, has decided that 2016 is the year in which he attempts to become the biggest, dumbest ...
Chaunté Lowe Demonstrates The High Art Of Balance
Physics figures large in high jump. Converting horizontal energy into vertical energy, torque, angle, and center of mass. But the most important concept, the one that’s helped Chaunté Lowe make four Olympic teams and set the American record, is balance. ...
DeAngelo Williams' Teammates Pranked Him With A Bunch Of Dang Balloons
I wish someone would prank me like this....
Coco Crisp Leaps For Topsy-Turvy Home Run Robbery
Ji-Man Choi has spent this evening’s game hitting the daylights out of the baseball. He dinged a solo dong to right center in the second inning, then followed it up with a three-run shot to the right field corner....
Handball Is The Best Olympic Sport You Don't Know Shit About
The United States has never won an Olympic handball medal, and neither the men’s or women’s team has even qualified since 1996, which means that NBC probably won’t cover the sport much over the next three weeks. This is a shame, because handball is the shit....
Weak-Ass Bureaucrats To Heroic Philly Citizens: Stop Turning Dumpsters Into Swimming Pools
The wise and proud residents of Cedar Street in Philadelphia, Penn. recently threw themselves a block party. Understanding that the party would be greatly improved by the presence of a swimming pool, they participated in the great American tradition of doing whatever the hell you want. Which is to s...
I'm Inspired By This Popcorn Vendor
Innovation is real and strong and it’s my friend....
Get A Load Of This Heinous, Game-Losing Wild Pitch
With the Miami Marlins leading the Cubs by two runs heading into the bottom, Don Mattingly brought in A.J. Ramos. Immediately, everything went to shit....
The Modern Olympics Were Founded By A French Baron Who Was Sad That France Kept Losing Wars<em></em>
If you were looking to create an object that was the perfect physical manifestation of the Summer Olympics’ contradictory relationship with the partially invented history they sprang from, you could do a lot worse than the Olympic Torch....
How Should I Handle A Friend's Homophobic Partner?
Ask An Adequate Woman is a space where readers can ask the questions they can’t—or maybe just won’t!—pose to their friends about relationships, fashion, family dramas, dating, existential crises, weird sex stuff, and everything else. The Women of Deadspin (and some of our clever friends) are here to...
Joey Votto Owned Me
On June 1, Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto had a triple slash of .213/.330/.404. I wrote an article expressing the opinion that, at the time, he was bad. A lot has changed since then. Joey Votto, like he did to the buffoon in the Reds shirt at last night’s game, has owned me....
Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Miami Dolphins<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....
Japanese Gymnast Reportedly Racks Up $5,000 Bill Playing <i>Pokémon Go</i> At The Olympics
Kohei Uchimura is a six-time world champion gymnast, a four-time gold medalist at the Olympics, and, apparently, an aspiring Pokémon trainer. Playing Pokémon Go in different locales can be a great way to accrue a collection of new monsters, but it can also cost you severely. Uchimura reportedly play...
![Phillies Fan Ejected By Home Plate Umpire For Heckling [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/odqxoiu5lwmewz59cnfg.jpg)
Phillies Fan Ejected By Home Plate Umpire For Heckling [UPDATE]
Heckling is built into baseball. The game is slow and judgment-dependent, and for the fans close to the action at home plate, giving it to the players and umpires is a good enough way to pass the time and possibly influence the outcome of the game....