hi Page 998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Are You Ready For Unbearable Trade Rumor Season?
Listen, can you hear it? A faint whisper grows louder. “The Cubbies could use another bat on the bench.” it says. “Why not trade for Andrew McCutchen?”...
They Threw A Parade For Phil Kessel
The Pittsburgh Penguins held their Stanley Cup parade today, but really, all I care about is what Phil Kessel did....
"Haters Gonna Say It's Fake" Is A Very Good Meme
Nobody likes trick shot videos anymore. If you watch enough bros in backwards hats throw a football into a moving trash can or whatever and yell, “Bro, sick!” as the beat drops, you’ll eventually find yourself wanting to flee the earth to live in outer space. But thanks to the power of memes, trick ...
Nearly Perfect: Night Of The Raptor
Maybe it started when they named the team after a dinosaur in a Steven Spielberg movie, or when the first player they ever drafted refused to report, or when the team’s greatest player left the country to attend his college graduation on the morning of the biggest game in franchise history. But if y...
The Struts Are Fucking Perfect
What are you doing right now? Are you working? Eating? Looking at your phone? I want you to forget all that shit…...
The Blackhawks Made Another Painful Trade
The Stanley Cup is barely parading through the streets of Pittsburgh and hot motherfuckin’ stove season is already underway. The Blackhawks are shipping Teuvo Teravainen (he’s good) and Bryan Bickell (he’s bad) to the Hurricanes in exchange for a 2016 second-round pick and 2017 third-round pick (tha...
German Club Unveils New Player Alongside Some Dude Wearing Mask Of Manager's Face
The guy on the right of this photo is Thomas Meggle, sporting director for German second division club St. Pauli. The guy in the middle is Marvin Ducksch, the team’s brand-new striker as announced just hours ago. The guy on the left, well, is not who he appears to be....
Nearly Perfect: Modern Basketball Arrived Before Anyone Knew How To Play It
Over the past 20 years basketball has evolved from a sport based around throwing the ball to brutes in the post into one based around flighty sprites flinging three-pointers from ever-increasing distances. But in watching a Bulls-Knicks game from 1996, it was illuminating to understand how this actu...
Phillies Rookie Pitcher Has Nightmare Debut, Is Chill
Last night, the Philadelphia Phillies handed to ball to rookie pitcher Zach Eflin, who had to make the first start of his big-league career against the Toronto Blue Jays. Eflin, age 22, was a first-round pick in the 2012 draft and posted a 2.90 ERA in 68 innings at Triple A this year. The Phillies a...
Golf Child Is Great At Golf, Terrible At Fireworks Safety
Traditional youth sports are fun and all, but they don’t teach you many skills you can apply to other parts of life. You can shoot a basketball? Cool, but you can’t use that in a non-basketball scenario unless you find a way to make a living betting people on pop-a-shot....
Corey Dickerson Sent A Baseball To A Nice Farm Upstate To Live Out Its Days
Sometimes, baseballs get put out to pasture gently, getting tossed to a fan then spending the rest of their life on a shelf or something. However, not all baseballs are so lucky. Some meet much more violent ends, like this one that Corey Dickerson smashed the daylights out of....
Series Of Cascading Errors Gifts Panama A Nice Lil' Goal
Panama have a chance to knock Chile out of the Copa America and join their CONCACAF friends (USA and Mexico) in the quarterfinals if they beat Chile this evening. Thanks to a terrible pass by a center back and some fumbling goalkeeping work, they got an early lead against the Chileans....
Sweatpants-Rocking Keeper Gábor Király Has Always Been Our Soccer Dad
At 40 years of age, goalkeeper Gábor Király became the oldest player to ever appear in a European Championship game today when took the field for Hungary’s match against Austria. You might think that his attire from today’s game—particularly, those conspicuous gray sweatpants seen above—was a knowin...
Fox Sports 1's <i>All Takes Matter</i> Is As Boring As It Is Long
During the “Good Bet or Bad Bet?” segment of the premiere of Fox Sports 1's All Takes Matter, Jason McIntyre asked Colin Cowherd and Jason Whitlock to debate the following premise: The Denver Broncos will miss the playoffs this season. “That’s a ... decent bet,” Whitlock said....
Germany Manager Loves To Smell His Own Nether Regions
The above video, given the disgustingly appropriate title “Joachim Löw smells his balls and his ass during Germany vs Ukraine 2-0,” blew up this weekend because, well, it shows a grown man slipping his hands down the front and back of his pants and sniffing the offending fingers. Sadly, new evidence...
Shaun Livingston Throws It Down
Shaun Livingston has been one of the quiet pleasures of this mostly-joyless NBA playoff season. Here’s how his second-quarter dunk sounded on ESPN Deportes; below is how it was called on Russian TV....
LOSER CRY BABY JAMES
Photo: Kevin Draper enjoys a basketball game....
Here Is A Child That Would Utterly Destroy You
You’ve probably gone through your life without ever once considering that there is a small child somewhere out there who could easily dispatch you in one-on-one combat. Well, get ready to do some considering, tough guy:...
Miami And Boston College Clear Benches After Grand Slam Bat Flip
Remember Edgar Michelangeli, the University of Miami baseball player who clobbered a three-run home run during the ACC Tournament and stopped to admire it for a very long time before flipping his bat? Well, he did it again....
Make Chicken Rigatoni And Experience "The Chickening"
Here’s an axiom that’s maybe only a little bit true: everything “tastes like chicken.” Actually, almost nothing tastes like chicken... including a lot of the chicken you’ve eaten in your life. The taste of chicken is something exceptional when done right....