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Adrian Gonzalez Homers In His First At Bat As A Dodger
You know what they say about first impressions: always hit a three-run home run in your first at bat with a new team if you'd like to make a good impression. Hours before, Gonzalez, Josh Beckett and Nick Punto were on a plane en route to Los Angeles as the trade was made official. Gonzalez did not ...

Man Dives Into Kauffman Stadium Fountain For Adam Dunn's 400th Home Run, Is Arrested
Adam Dunn blasted his 400th home run last night into the fountains at Kauffman Stadium. One industrious and, judging by his jersey, long time Chicago White Sox fan decided to retrieve the ball from its watery grave....

Ichiro Hit His First Home Run As A Yankee, And John Sterling's Call Embarrassed Everyone
To be fair, Sterling arrived at "The Yankees' Rising Sun [or is it Son?] Says Sayonara" after eliminating more insensitive early drafts like "A mega-jack from the mega-Jap," "A head-turner from the rice burner," and "It's a round-trip for the new Nip." [YES]...

Walk-Off Home Run From Cody Ross Leaves Hawk Harrelson Silent For Over A Minute
Noted blatherer Hawk Harrelson is really only at a loss for words when the White Sox managed to inexplicably blow a lead late in the game and lose. For example, maybe Chicago is playing at Fenway and about to pull off an efficient 1-0 win thanks to eight solid innings from starting pitcher Jose Qu...

Whoa, We're Halfway There: The Grierson & Leitch Top 12 Movies Of The First Half of 2012
Shockingly, we are more than halfway through 2012. (It's a backloaded year: Olympics, election, total global catastrophe—all stacked up from late July on.) As always, the best, most "prestigious" movies won't be released until November or December, because the people who vote on the Oscars are senil...

Reds Prospect Billy Hamilton's Legend Continued After Hitting This Inside-The-Park Homer
The story of this minor league season has been Reds shortstop prospect Billy Hamilton, who after stealing 104 bases in 82 games with the Bakersfield Blaze, earned a call-up to the AA Pensacola Blue Wahoos. (He also turned some heads during the All-Star Break Futures Game along the way.)...

Gregg Williams Is Still A Hometown Hero As Far As Applebee's Is Concerned
Former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has been mostly out of the public eye since he became the poster boy for the NFL's bounty problem. But as host of an annual charity golf tournament, you get to talk to reporters for a little bit. Williams spoke briefly before refusing to comment on ...

Bud Selig Is Not Against Change, Just Change That Matters
We've had a busy week around here and things were bound to fall through the cracks. So, I hope you don't mind if we take a spin in the Wayback Machine to Tuesday last so we can talk about your favorite doofus uncle, Bud Selig. Great, thanks....

MLB's Plan To Drain Every Last Ounce Of Fun From The Home Run Derby Takes Shape
Kansas City Royals fans were pissed off that Robinson Cano didn't pick Billy Butler for the Home Run Derby, so they booed him. Mercilessly. And each time he failed to hit a home run, compared to the zero times he successfully did, they cheered him. (Burke went ahead and isolated the crowd audio, s...
![The World's Craziest Home Run Derby Was A Rousing Success [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17sfwc5jdgdesjpg.jpg)
The World's Craziest Home Run Derby Was A Rousing Success [UPDATE]
We gave you fair warning about the world's weirdest Home Run Derby a few days ago, the one with the on-field party, live entertainment, and trampoline in left field, among other attractions. Well, lest you think that was all just bluster and hype, here's a photo of Ryan Petzar of 97.3 ESPN Radio try...

Berman Got Back: Your Home Run Derby Supercut, Featuring Sir Mix-A-Lot
Perhaps on advisement from his superiors, the very popular Chris Berman was noticeably restrained during last night's Home Run Derby. In fact, his "backbackback" catchphrase found limited use; Berman only uttered "back" 79 times. That's still plenty enough for us to have fun with, and so here's B...

Here's The Secret Jose Canseco Old Milwaukee Ads That Aired Last Night In Kansas City
Old Milwaukee's made a name for itself in the advertising world by dropping oft-bizarre spots (often featuring actor Will Ferrell) and running them in one, usually small, television market....

Chris Berman Is America's Most Popular Sports Broadcaster
When ESPN announced Chris Berman would be announcing an opening-week Monday Night Football, we groaned. We'd also assumed the nation hated Berman's hysterical Home Run Derby squawking as much as we did. It turns out America loves Chris Berman—here's proof....

John Kruk Bogarted All The Barbecue
It's the All-Star Break in Kansas City, which like dozens of other American geographical locations is known for its barbecue. ESPN analyst John Kruk spent much of last night's Home Run Derby broadcast gnawing on grub, including through an entire interview with former Royals star George Brett. (Orio...

Your Home Run Derby Open Thread
Do you want to know the terrifying truth, and see All-Stars sock a few dingers? The Home Run Derby is on ESPN now, right now, and it's going to be Bermanly unbearable, and also fun to watch because it's fricking home runs, you Communist. Matt Kemp captains the Senior Circuit, Robinson Cano the Arcad...

What Happens When ESPN Accidentally Allows Write-In Votes On A Facebook Poll
Open Facebook polls are one of the underrated treasures of the internet. Instead of being bound to the only "logical" or "possible" answers, ESPN allowed fans' imaginations to run wild. Asking who will win tonight's Home Run Derby, ESPN didn't limit voters to just eight boring choices—and lo, Josh H...

Get Ready For A Drug-Induced Minor League Home Run Derby
If you have five minutes to kill, watch this thing. It's a Home Run Derby, except I don't think you are supposed to hit home runs. Instead they are putting some kind of insane obstacle course or, like, a Dave and Buster's restaurant on the field....

Hanley Ramirez Does Most Hanley Ramirez Thing Ever, Takes A 30.3 Second Home Run Trot
According to Baseball Prospectus, which is home to the wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, Marlins third baseman Hanley Ramirez—no stranger to taking his time on the diamond—took one of the longest home run trots in history on July 1st. It took Ramirez 30.3 seconds to make it around the bases, which is on...

After Blown Save Jonathan Papelbon Promises $5K For A Walk-Off Homerun, Jim Thome Cashes In
Jim Thome hit his 13th game-winning home run yesterday, good enough for a weird Major League record only the folks at Elias think about. It was also good enough for $5,000, according to Jonathan Papelbon. Paps came in to a 6-4 Phillies lead over the Tampa Bay Rays in the ninth inning and promptly g...

The New Best Place For A Home Run Derby: An Aircraft Carrier
This morning I lamented that our country is falling woefully behind in the "playing sports where sports aren't meant to be played" arms race. Several readers were quick to point out that I was wrong, and America continues to rock faces. Yesterday, the Class A South Atlantic League held the first r...