home Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Thome Is Just A "Big, Friendly Farm Boy," And Other Aw-Shucks Observations
On Monday night, Minnesota's Jim Thome became the eighth player in MLB history to hit 600 career home runs. Sports media has declared that not enough people noticed his feat (to its credit, though, the condom sector did). So let us humbly praise the humble man who is, in the immortal words of Tim Ku...
Chase Utley's Inside-The-Park Homer Is Better Than Anything That Happened In Your Game Tonight
The best part (or worst, if you're a Braves or Mets fan) of all of this is just how excited the crowd, and the announcer, gets. It's late in the game. Philly's already up 5-1, over the Giants, whose 3.62 runs scored per game is the worst among all division leaders. Philly's also got the NL East sa...
Now Photographers Working The Home Run Derby Are Planking Too
We've tried to stay on top of this planking thing for you guys, because it's confusing and new and stressful. Last we dropped in on sports-based planking, some wealthy—but now unemployed—NBA stars got prone on ostentatious objects (Beamers, Benzes, or Bentleys, we cannot remember which)....
A Half-Assed Statistical Analysis Of The Half-Assed Home Run Derby's Half-Assed Announcing
Chris Berman said the word "BACK" 78 times last night, 66 of which were in reference to home runs. That's about .62 "BACK"s per homer, a figure we assume is much lower than in previous years. Here's a breakdown of each player's traditional and Berman statistics (distance data from MLB.com):...
The Derby Featured A Diving Catch Into A Pool, And Not A Single Drop Of Beer Was Wasted
Our esteemed announcers preferred an earlier catch to this gentleman's play, but they fail to notice that on his dive, he manages to save his entire pint. This great nation will go to great lengths to ensure that we never waste a drop of an overpriced lager....
Your Home Run Derby Open Thread/Chris Berman Liveblog
Here's your Home Run Derby open thread. I will be live-blogging Chris Berman. And give us your best Berman nickname for a prize....
Bad Beats: Adrian Gonzalez Will Win Tonight's Home Run Derby
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....
Someone Hit A Human Home Run Last Night
Your morning roundup for July 6, the day controversial sports site Deadspin.com was mentioned in non-controversial newspaper Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer. (Video via Eagle-Tribune, ESPN)...
CBS Also Passes On Awful Sitcom About Mark Schlereth's Life
CBS revealed its 2011-12 primetime schedule today. We already knew it would lack the wretched Colin Cowherd pilot, but we now know that it doesn't have that god-awful Schlereth show either....
David Price's Cartwheeling Home Run Trot Is What All Home Run Trots Should Be
Rays pitcher David Price knocked one into the right field seats during batting practice yesterday, and because pitchers in the American League don't get out much, he took advantage of the moment. We appreciate his cartwheels, his somersaults, and that gleeful flip of the bat, because even Little L...
Here's How Gary Neal's Buzzer-Beater Sounded To San Antonio
The Memphis Grizzlies announcers left something to be desired (mainly, any commentary whatsoever) after Gary Neal tied the game at the buzzer last night. Here's what it sounded like on the other side....
Here's Your MLB Play Of The Season As Ryan Raburn Assists A Home Run
That's Detroit's Ryan Raburn with the Cansecoesque slap assist on Miguel Olivo's fly ball to left. Ryan, you have joined the immortals. [MLB.com]...
With Apologies To Jack Edwards, This Junior Hockey League Announcer Is The Homer To End All Homers
After reading our post about Jack Edwards's deliciously biased Bruins coverage, reader Kenn sent us this excellent clip from a junior hockey league in Texas. In it, the announcer completely loses his shit, tries to calm himself down, and then loses his shit all over again. It sounds like he's cove...
Invisible Line Helps Oregon Win A Sub-NIT Championship
The Oregon Ducks won the College Basketball Invitational tournament (presented by Zebra Pen) last night. The CBI's "history page" goes all the way back to 2008 and notes how VCU won it last year....
Timing The Trots For Six Famous Home Runs; Or, Bo Jackson Will Blow Your Mind
As a Brewers fan, it's pretty common to hear from others around the NL Central that no one is worse at watching and admiring his home runs than Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun. And while I can understand where these Cards and Cubs fans are coming from, I don't completely agree. After all, I get to see...
We Have The Surprisingly Cock-Obsessed Pilot For Mark Schlereth's Sitcom
CBS has ordered a pilot for Home Game, a sitcom about Mark Schlereth, ESPN analyst and former Broncos/Redskins guard. Why? It's unclear....
Former American Gladiator Is Now Homeless
As American Gladiator "Storm," Debbie Clark made $1,500 a day. The time since has roughed her up, though. She and her 10-year-old son Crayton have been homeless in San Diego for more than two years, reports AOLNews....
Police Called To Bill Simmons's Home For Burglary Only To Find Mighty Mighty Bosstone In Socks
If not for a podcast of four lesser-known comedians, the world probably would have never heard about the absurd Keystone Coppery that went down during a recent football Sunday at the Sports Guy's manse. Follow along with the audio, courtesy Megaboom....
"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has Golden Mugshot History
Courtesy of "NFL Facts and Rumors" via The Smoking Gun comes visual documentation as to why the Ted Williams had trouble getting a job. Also, he was detained by LAPD early this morning for squabbling. [The Smoking Gun]...
That Was Indeed Jim Rome In The Studio Audience Of <em>American's Funniest Home Videos</em>
An email from Richard Connor, producer of America's Funniest Home Videos of Toddlers Swinging Baseball Bats in the Vicinity of Their Fathers' Unsuspecting Crotches, regarding this morning's screengrab:...