horse Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Barbaro's World, We Just Live In It
Well, it's finally happened: Barbaro is now getting letters from other horses. We know this is true because the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine is screening all e-mail to the Barbaro message board these days, and this one got through:...
Your Tuesday Barbaro Update
It's almost that time of the year again, when Santa hitches Barbaro to his sleigh and delivers gifts to all the good boys and girls throughout the world (except France). What happened to Santa's reindeer? All we'll say: Don't look in the freezer....
Some Horses Like Wearing Silk More Than Others
Today's Breeders Cup has me in the mood to punch talk about horses and the magnificent sport of horse racing, so here's something you might not have known: War Emblem, 2002 Kentucky Derby and Preakness champion, is gay....
Is Your Relationship With Barbaro All That It Can Be?
Even though he has faced many obstacles recently — including a stinging defeat in our Hall of Fame balloting of a couple of months ago — Barbaro has somehow always found the will to survive. And now the racehorse is on the verge of the most dramatic triumph of all, as doctors announced on Wednesda...
So This Horse Walks Into A Bar ...
"So yeah, then all these people start sending me letters. Crazy shit, too, like Bible verses, and poems. Like I can read poems ... I'm a horse, ferchristsakes. And now the vets are back putting me into this sling, and I'm twirling around above a tub of water like a goddamned circus sideshow. If th...
"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...
Horseshoes Should Be Outlawed
"Man's Buttocks Impaled By Horseshoe Stake" is not the sort of headline that you ever want to see. Well, unless you're a gay man, and your given name is "Horseshoe Stake." But I think that's the case for less than 10% of you. Because I don't think I'm capable of putting it into my own words withou...
As If Barbaro (And The Rest Of Us) Haven't Suffered Enough
In New York City today, it is sunny, pleasant, warm, slightly overcast but mostly cheerful. We've got some good music on the stereo, a cool icy beverage at our desk and, overall, we're feeling all right about the planet and our place in it....
Contagious Headbutting Sickness Strikes Again
Hey kids, time to drag out those scissors and the colored construction paper once again, because there's a horse in trouble. No, not Barbaro; he's relaxing in Pennsylvania watching premium cable. This time it's City Affair, a race horse in Britain which was — get this — headbutted by jockey Paul O...
On Your Marks ... Get Set ... Shuffle!
On Friday, we told you about Extreme Day, a horse racing promotional event that featured skateboarding, clockwise (backwards) racing and, our favorite, jockey races. (Complete with gates!)...
Short People In Riding Pants Running
Because nothing amuses us like jockeys, here's a neat — if not necessarily new — promotion they're trying at Calder Race Course this weekend: A jockey race! Because nothing's more compelling that five-foot-tall guys sprinting....
Quick! Time To Save Barbaro Again!
Apparently, there aren't enough children writing letters: Barbaro is in serious trouble....
Ride, Jesse, Ride
We had a crazy, fantastical dream last night. In our fevered slumber, we dreamed that the Rev. Jesse Jackson had teamed with the former agent to Dennis Rodman to represent The Jockeys' Guild. Thats what we get for eating Laotain food just before bedtime. Thankfully, we got a good night's rest, and...
Barbaro Finally Responds To Fans
As we have widely documented extensively and in excruciating detail, all kinds of gentle-hearted simps have been sending letters to the injured Barbaro over the last few months....
So, How Is That Horse Anyway?
For those of you who were wondering how everyone's favorite non-sentient being was going in his quest to survive long enough to have sex with any horse in sight, the Associated Press has a full report on jockey Edgar Prado visiting the horse in the hospital today....
What Being "Put Out To Stud" Can Really Mean
As recovering horse Barbaro continues to rake in the get-well cards and well-wishes from somewhat bewildering "fans," we take a moment to look at what being "put out to stud" really means. If Barbaro does survive all this, we all have an image of Barbaro spending his golden years humping around, b...
Letters To Barbaro
As BarbaroMania sweeps the nation like a crazy horse tsunami, we pause to pay tribute to our army of commenters, who were in top form on Wednesday. Your messages to Barbaro were, um, at once inspiring and disturbing: "Get up. WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. — Jack Bauer, 35; Los Angeles, CA, USA, soon ...
You Don't Bring Me Apples, Anymore ...
OK, we'll admit it; we wrote a letter to Barbaro. Dear Babs: Get well soon, you big, crazy ungulate mammal. Sorry you got hurt, and also for breeding you with legs like chopsticks. Our bad. Well, see ya. Yeah, like you haven't written. Sure. Have you seen New Bolton Center, the hospital in Kennett...
They Shoot Theismann, Don't They?
The news appears to be improving for Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby winner who went down during the Preakness with a broken hind leg. Not since that Joe Theisman video did we recoil quite so much during a sporting event (we were all sad when they had to shoot Joe in the lockerroom afterwards, weren't...
Barbaro Cheats; Injures Leg; Will Be Served Later With Fried Rice
The Preakness has come to an end, and there was very little drama involved in determining that there will not be a Triple Crown winner this year. Barbaro jumped out of the gate early and tried to get a head start. He had to be calmed a little bit, and they got him back in the gate. When they start...