hp Page 103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Of Course This Made Countdown
The estimable Tommy "Scraggs" and The Mighty Bentern get golf claps from the Left for their Palin full-court press rendering. Unfortunately, Olbermann used Craggs' Garbage Pail Kid nickname. [MSNBC/Andrew Sullivan]...

Diagramming Sarah Palin's "Full-Court Press" Metaphor
Last Friday, Sarah Palin shrugged into her respectable Republican cloth coat and announced she was resigning from office. Along the way, she dropped a somewhat baffling basketball analogy, which we've helpfully diagrammed for you below, just as Palin described it....

Rinku and Dinesh Debut
Okay, this isn't exactly crucial stuff in light of recent developments, but in a bit of good news, the hard-throwing brothers pitchers from India/Pittsburgh Pirates prospects both made an appearance for the team's Gulf Coast League affiliate today....

Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "Winner winner chicken dinner."...

Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "I know a cat named Way Out Willy."...

Sidney Crosby's Wild Stanley Cup Orgy
I know this is every man's fantasy, but does Sid the Kid know where that Cup has been? Wrap it up, buddy. [Sports Crackle Pop, via TheScore]...

The U.S. Open At Bethpage Black, Sponsored By Happy Gilmore
The New York galleries are so lively, we've heard all week. They're great for golf, and the players love it! Turns out, it's all just a euphemism for "New Yorkers like to get tanked and heckle Tiger Woods."...

Let's All Jump Into Puddles
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Barnes Bears Down At Bethpage
Former US Amateur champion and University of Arizona star Ricky Barnes set the 36 hole US Open scoring record at -8 following the second round 65 he completed in this morning's favorable conditions....

Tony Mandarich's Porno Revenge Web Site (UPDATED)
Tony Mandarich's ex-fiancee is suing the world's most famous draft bust because she claims that he set up a porn website under her name to embarrass her with pictures of her doing dirty, dirty things. That's not very gentlemanly....

Mama, There Goes That Man ... To Minnesota
"Multiple sources have told Pro Basketball News that Mark Jackson has emerged as the leading candidate for the [Timberwolves] position and will wind up with his first coaching gig." Some would call this a grown-man move. [Pro Basketball News]...

It's U.S. Open Week And Everyone Needs Takeouts, So...
...let's write about how hard putting is. That hacker on your local muni, the one with the yips? Not so different from the winner at Bethpage Black, if they ever play. They worry about words like joule, though. [WSJ]...

The U.S. Open Is Open For Business
You were probably hoping that following the U.S. Open online would be a nice distraction from work today, but they just suspended play due to heavy rain. Hey, who wants to hear Tiger Woods cuss on teevee?...

Penguin Party Freakout At Mario Lemieux's Mansion
This is my favorite part about the post-NHL season is to see what wacky things the champions do with Lord Stanley's precious cup. The Penguins turned it into a pool noodle at King Mario's castle....

Don't Ask Marian Hossa For Stock Market Advice
The dogpile on Marian Hossa has been sufficient and thorough. The Wings beat Hossa's Penguins last year. Then the Penguins beat Hossa's Red Wings. Goat cheese....

Only Minimal Arrests? For Shame, Pittsburgh
"We have a few arrests. For the most part people are being orderly but we've got a few people who don't want to leave." C'mon, Pittsburgh. That's no way to usher in a Crosby regime. [Post-Gazette]...

Depressed Urban Zone Saved By Valiant Sports Team
All of Pittsburgh's troubles as a shrunken post-war manufacturing center are over now that the city has its third Stanley Cup championship and its second major sports title this year. Detroit, sadly, will be boarded up and shipped to Borneo....

NHL Season Just Might End Tonight
Here we are. Game 7. Should I spend the next few paragraphs trying to regurgitate as many clichés as I can about the finality of the ultimate do-or-die scenario or just show you a picture of Greg Ostertag on skates?...

Evgeni Malkin Is Here To Steal Your Girlfriend (Updated Update)
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

NHL Did Not Rig The Stanley Cup Finals
Conspiracy theorists are apoplectic after learning that Red Wings' 2009 Stanley Cup Championship gear is already available for sale on the NHL website, but the cooler heads at Puck Daddy have already proven that the Penguins got the same treatment....