hp Page 108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Blue Is the Colour, Football Is the Game
We've had to wait since May's epic Champions League Final but the time has finally come for the Blues of Chelsea to take on the Red Devils of Manchester United. Holy crap, I'm all tingly. Obviously I'm a bit of a homer for Chelsea, which is why I won't be live blogging the contest. That and I'll be...

Perhaps More of This Winning Will Get Them a Sponsor
Who needs some fancy sponsor when you've got a new manager in Chelsea legend Gianfranco Zola? Not the Hammers apparently, because they came out and feasted on the Magpies with nothing adorning their shirts but a crest and a number. West Ham picked up their third consecutive win at Upton Park behind...

You Can Take Our Sarah Palin Videos, But You'll Never Take Our FREEDOM
You're slipping, Republican Party. It took you four entire days to find and eradicate the great Sarah Palin sportscaster video from the YouTubes; the one we found and posted on Saturday to the delight of a weary world starved for young newswomen with gigantic, 1980s hair. Those were a glorious four ...

Sarah Palin Plans To Come Out Swinging
Tonight, as well, Sarah Palin steps up to the microphone and attempts to recreate all of that feel-good momentum she provided John McCain for, oh, a few hours on Friday before America's Google-army did their own "vetting." She's going to show her feisty side tonight and let people know that she's to...

Sarah Palin's Former Sports Director Tells All
Interns; what would we do without them? They make coffee, do grunt work, execute commenters, and eventually become governors of large, beaver-infested states. Young Sarah Heath was an intern at KTUU-TV2 in Anchorage, Alaska in 1987 and '88, video proof of which we showed you on Saturday. She of cour...

Barack Isn't the Only Baller In This Race
Barack Obama has gotten plenty of attention for his love of basketball, but it's worth noting that the GOP Veep candidate was a bit of a baller back in the day. Sarah Palin (nee Heath) was known as "Sarah Barracuda" (barracudas being the most tenacious on-ball defenders in the ocean) while captaini...

Levi Johnston's Demon Hockey Seed Complicates Matters For GOP
John McCain's unpredictably odd but glamorous-looking choice for Vice President dazzled the media on Friday, but the case for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin isn't looking as crafty a decision anymore. Most of the controversy stems from Palin's 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, tiny eskimo in the ovenand the ...

A Little Background On The Sarah Palin Sportscast Video
In case you were out doing what normal people do over a long weekend and missed it, we found an old Sarah Palin video from her days as a sportscaster at KTUU-TV in Anchorage, Alaska, and posted it early Saturday evening. Here it is. A lot has happened on the Palin front over the weekend, including f...

Sweet Lincoln's Mullet! The Sarah Palin Sportscast Video Is Here
Sorry to barge in on your holiday weekend — for God's sake, put on some pants — but I just got back from he movies and found this great video in a basket on my doorstep. It's the one we've all been waiting for, a gift from the cold, desolate North: A sportscast featuring presumptive Republican Vice ...

Roman Abramovich's Fantasy Football Team Is Better Than Yours
Apparently Roman Abramovich doesn't like being first runner-up. After completing the silver sweep last season—finishing second in the Premier League, the Carling Cup, and the Champions League—the Russian billionaire owner of Chelsea FC responded by purchasing half of the Portuguese-speaking world. F...

LPGA English-Only Policy: Here Come the Lawyas
As if public displeasure were not strong enough against the LPGA's proposed English-only policy, now lawyers have arrived on the scene to pronounce the policy potentially illegal. Really? Potentially illegal. Every lawyer loves this legal analysis. Everything is potentially illegal. The answer to e...

A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...

Welcome to England, Monsieur Nasri
The English Premier League's new season is officially underway, and newcomer Samir Nasri has already made his mark with Arsenal. The dynamic young Frenchman scored the Gunners lone goal in this morning's (lunchtime over there) first match against newly promoted West Bromwich Albion. Arsenal dominat...

As the Season Looms Clubs Look to Reload
Whether or not you can believe it, the English Premier League season is right around the corner. While tomorrow's Community Shield match between league champions Manchester United and the FA Cup winners from Portsmouth marks the unofficial opening of the ten-month season the official matches begin ...

Manny To Dodgers, Bay To Red Sox, Little People To Pirates ... Mass Hysteria
Only trade deadline day can make the Intertubes blow up at 4:30 p.m. in the afternoon. Well, unless Heath Ledger dies. Anyway, Jon Heyman's got it: Manny Ramirez has been traded to the Dodgers. His manager is Joe Torre. Muse on that....

Pirates' Pitcher Gets Erotic Massage, But Rockies Get The Happy Ending
One might say that the Pirates tried everything to make rookie Yoslan Herrera feel comfortable on the mound on Saturday in his debut against the Rockies. Some days, nothing works. Of course, this could simply be Bud Selig's random cup check policy we've been hearing about....

Yes...
Boy, that escalated quickly. Wasn't it just last week when the sports pundits and the soundbite intelligentsia were all speculating that former Los Angeles Clipper, and free agent whale, Elton Brand, would "probably" ignore the lavish offer sheet from the Golden State Warriors because "he loves L.A....

Pennsylvania's Lehigh Valley: Where Wife-Punching Pitchers Go To Die
Phillies opening day starter Brett Myers, has thrown his last high fastball up in the zone at the major league level for a little while. The Phillies, fed up with his putridity, have decided to send Myers down to the minors, in a last ditch effort to salvage his once formidable arm....

Much Excitement In The Area Where The Allegheny And Monongahela Converge To Form The Ohio River
Wouldn't it be ironic — in a fun, cosmic sort of way — if the turning point for the Pittsburgh Pirates' franchise came on Tuesday night? It was the first time since 1960 that the New York Yankees had played in Pittsburgh, when, as you surely recall, Bill Mazeroski won Game 7 of the World Series with...
