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Golfer Jason Dufner Appears To Be Having A Lot Of Fun Visiting These Kids In Dallas
Jason Dufner won the 2012 Byron Nelson Championship in Irving, Texas, and today he was back in the area, in Dallas, for the kick-off luncheon for the 2013 event. And, from the looks of it, he had a blast....

What The Hell: Jarome Iginla Traded To Penguins
We went to bed thinking Jarome Iginla was going to be a Bruin. Nearly every single rumor had the 17-year vet heading to Boston, and when Iginla was a healthy scratch for Calgary's late-night game, it seemed a fait accompli. The sun rises to find Iginla in black and gold, but without the Bruins' spok...

Four High School Basketball Players Suspended For "Their Involvement In Pouring Urine" In The Other Team's Water Cooler
Great euphemisms in this one, a story about a basketball player peeing, into a cup probably, and her friends pouring the pee into their rival's water cooler prior to a basketball game between the schools....

Supposedly Dead MMA Fighter Robs Gun Store From Beyond The Grave
Today in great ledes, this one courtesy of the Associated Press: ...

Picking Your Nose On Television Is Not A Violation Of BYU's Honor Code
Hot on the heels of a fervent nationally-broadcast nosepicker, a BYU fan is running with the nostril-spelunking baton. Last night's NIT bout in Provo between the Cougars and Washington turned out to be a snoozer, but even early on this gentleman was more interested in his own sneezer....

FA Decides Not To Punish Callum McManaman For Inflicting Serious Knee Injury On Massadio Haïdara
Wigan's match with Newcastle United turned ugly this weekend when Latics forward Callum McManaman's reckless tackle on Newcastle's Massadio Haïdara left the latter with a season-ending knee injury. Things got even uglier in the aftermath....

Manchester United's Yank-Hating Fans Can Shove It
Originally published in Bloomberg View...

"You Always Think You're Gonna Win A Game": An Interview With The Coach Of The Worst Team In College Basketball History
It's official: With last night's 59-51 loss to Alabama A&M in the quarterfinals of the SWAC tournament, Grambling basketball finished the season a perfectly imperfect 0-28. It was the closest game the Tigers played all year; all of their other losses were by at least 10, and their final average marg...

In Potential Conference Finals Matchup, The Penguins Find An Extra Gear While The Bruins Run Out Of Gas
It's hard to take any larger lessons from Bruins-Penguins, a low-yield bet to be your Eastern Conference finals matchup, since neither team was at anything close to full strength. Evgeni Malkin is out at least a week with a mysterious "upper-body injury," most likely a shoulder injury suffered Satur...

Spring Breakers Arrested On Camera For Being Spring Breakers: "Roll Tide!"
This just might might be the most unintentionally hilarious important newscast of the year. It was the top story this morning on WJHG, the NBC affiliate in Panama City, Fla., and it's easy to see why: The arrest of "dozens" of people for the dastardly crimes of being young underage drinking and havi...

Watch All These Tottenham Players Choke The Game Away To Liverpool
Today's most notable Premier League matchup was between Tottenham Hotspur, currently third in the table with just two points over Chelsea, and eighth-place Liverpool FC. This game was vital. A week after beating bitter rivals Arsenal, Spurs are trying to get some separation from Chelsea, while a su...

Tim Howard's Broken Back Has Huge World Cup And Premier League Implications
Eleven days ago, Everton FC and US Men's National Team goalkeeper Tim Howard fractured two bones in his back in an FA Cup win against Oldham Athletic. He's expected to be out for about a month. Though the bones aren't weight-bearing and the injury could've been much more serious, it probably couldn...
!["Absolutely Brazen" Woman Steals Two Police Cars In Two Cities In Two States [Updated With Photo And Video]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18gknmk5qe9zmjpg.jpg)
"Absolutely Brazen" Woman Steals Two Police Cars In Two Cities In Two States [Updated With Photo And Video]
Florida? Ohio? Wrong! This one happened in both New Jersey and Pennsylvania, and in the neighboring cities of Camden and Philadelphia. It began with a cop in Camden making a routine traffic stop for a vehicle violation just before 10 a.m., only to have his unattended cruiser stolen by a man and a wo...

It Takes A Space Cadet To Be An Aston Villa Supporter These Days
These are dark days at Villa Park. The Claret and Blue helped found the Premiership 20 years ago, but find themselves in danger of being relegated for the first time unless they can climb out of the EPL basement. Facing the defending champs is never going to inspire much confidence, though, and whi...

Middle Eastern Group Preparing $2.25 Billion Bid To Buy Arsenal FC
It's been a rough day/year/decade for Arsenal FC and their fans. The Gunners lost arguably the most important match of their season today to London rivals Tottenham by a score of 2-1, and unless a slew of miraculous things all happen in tandem, Arsenal looks a certainty to finish the season without...

World Number One Rory McIlroy Walked Off The Course Because He Was Having A Mental Breakdown His Teeth Hurt
Yesterday, reigning PGA champ Rory McIlroy walked off the course at the Honda Classic in Florida after a day of subpar golf, eight holes into a second round for which he was already seven strokes over par. As reporters trailed him on his way out, he said he was in a "bad place mentally," which doesn...



