hp Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Champions League Pitch Invader In Kiev May Have Cost His Team The Match
Today's UEFA Champions League action featured one of the more boneheaded Idiots On The Field we've seen of late. Following last week's Idiot who ran out onto the field during a live football play, this would-be soccer star rushed onto the pitch in Kiev during Dynamo's match against Porto—only to r...

The Brooklyn Nets' New Mascot Basically Has The Same Name As A Porn Star
When the Nets left New Jersey, they left their old mascot, Sly, a wolf or rabbit or something, in New Jersey, along with Shawne Williams and the ghost of Kerry Kittles. The arena is new, the location is new, the mascot is new: the Nets now have BrooklyKnight (spelled like that, pronounced "Brooklyn ...

The Rock's Halloween Costume Is Better Than Everyone Else's
Frankly, we should've seen this one coming a long time ago. The Rock as the Hulk? Just about the most perfect Halloween costume known to mankind. There's no going back now....

Sidney Crosby Can't Play In Europe Because He's Uninsurable
European leagues are lousy with NHLers staying in shape and making a buck (here's a reasonably up-to-date map), but there's a certain superstar who's nowhere to be found. It's not that Sidney Crosby has an overriding loyalty to North America, nor that he's super-optimistic about the lockout ending s...
![Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]
WNBC later interviewed this gent, and we'll update when we can get video of what he had to say, but here he is on his personal watercraft, braving the hurricane-force waves. [WNBC]...

NBC Looks Like It Will Beat Out Fox and ESPN For The EPL After A Crazy Bid
So we now live in a world where not only Major League Baseball draws insane amounts of money from broadcasters (fresh off the lowest rated Game 2 of the World Series ever!) but now soccer too. Fox and ESPN are out of the bidding for the English Premier League and NBC is looking like a winner. Becau...

New York Policeman Arrested On Charges That He Planned To Slow-Roast Some Ladies
Well, this is pretty much the grossest thing. It happened in neither Florida nor Ohio, though. Rather, it unfolded in the nation's greatest city. Reports The New York Times:...

The Pirates Lied About A Prospect Who Got Hurt During Some Team-Sanctioned Military-Type Exercises
When details got out about the Pittsburgh Pirates putting prospects at their fall instructional league through Navy SEALs-type training last month, it was easy to point and laugh. That pointing and laughing was made even easier because, around the same time the SEALs regimen was being reported, an e...

Wyoming Football Coach Suspended, Fined For Phenomenal "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Tirade
Dave Christensen's punishment was handed down yesterday for this, and it's rather steep: a one-game suspension and a $50,000 fine. The decision was made by the school's athletic director with the full support of the university president, according to a statement the AD issued that said some things...

Tennessee Fan Is Latest To Take Advantage Of Live TV Camera And Pantomime Blowjobs
After we had our fun with the jackass who made blowjob pantomimes behind home plate of a Cubs game, we figured the days of televised fake fellatio were over. Not so, as we learned at Neyland Stadium tonight, as one young Vols fan had enough of ESPN's camera and decided to take matters into his ow...

Fan Runs Onto Field In The Middle Of Live Play During Florida State-Miami Game
Idiots On The Field tend to perform their antics during breaks in play; that's why security guards ring the baselines in between innings of baseball games, et cetera. Tonight's Idiot in Miami took things to a whole new level, though, rushing onto the field during a play in the first quarter of Fl...

Sticking Your Head Out The Window Of A Moving Train Is Not A Good Idea
Because another train might pass in the other direction at that exact same moment. Which can be downright terrifying, in case you were wondering. Odd, isn't it? I always thought sticking your head out the window of a moving train just as another train passes in the other direction wouldn't be much...

When It Comes To America's Funniest Fantasy Football Team Names, Miller Lite Loves A Good Jerry Sandusky Reference
Honestly, I rarely pay attention to web advertising, but eagle-eyed tipster Patrick sends in this screenshot, which is compelling evidence that companies looking to push the boundaries of interactive ads might need to be a little more careful with their content. Miller Lite, apparently, is running s...

Trying To Do A Cannonball Into A Frozen Swimming Pool Is Not A Good Idea
That didn't stop this guy in Germany from giving it his best shot. "Fuck the fucking cold," he said, just before taking the, uh, plunge. The cold won....

The Many, Many Tweets Referring To Alex Rodriguez As "Fag," "Pussy," And "Gay-Rod"
Alex Rodriguez is both straight and male, but you wouldn't know it from the insults lobbed his way on Twitter over the past few days. Here are a few hundred examples....

Weep For The Millionaire College Football Coaches Who Can't Sell Their Million-Dollar Homes
Being a Division I college football coach is hard. You get paid millions of dollars, you get to bully your post-adolescent free labor into doing whatever you want them to do, and you get painted as a demigod by football-obsessed towns and campuses. It's a tough gig....

A Brawl In The Stands At A Canadian Lingerie Football League Game Involved A Shirtless Guy AND A Guy In A Gronk Jersey
What is there to do in moderate-sized cities in Canada's western provinces when there is no NHL hockey? (Remember, there is no NHL hockey. There is a lockout, as there has been for nearly a month now. The lockout will not end soon, because both sides are more concerned with rapping about ice surfa...

Large, Shirtless, Pole-Clinging North Carolina State Supporter Is Our Favorite Football Fan Of The Year
North Carolina State shocked the college football universe by beating third-ranked Florida State with an amazing last-minute comeback, scoring on a fourth-down touchdown pass and sending the Carter–Finley Stadium faithful into a frenzy. One man really stood out to us, and though we're used to bei...

Beer Of The Week: Blue Buck, In Time For Canadian Thanksgiving
Monday marks a holiday that in Canada is known as Thanksgiving. Any American will recognize the basic outlines of the day: Get together with friends and family and eat until you can compare stretchmarks and then succumb to naps. That doesn't mean it's the same holiday. Care to (U) guess (S) which (A...

Tom Brady Called The Head Of JP Morgan To Cheer Him Up After He Lost $6 Billion
Tom Brady's had losses in his day. Big ones. Like Super Bowl XLII. And Super Bowl XLVI. He never lost $6 billion, but he never had $6 billion to lose. Brady feels for losers. So when someone loses, and Tom Brady can help, he gets on the horn. Here's Vanity Fair, via Dealbreaker:...