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Here's Video Of Police Arresting A Family That Chanted Prayers And Danced Naked Around A High School Parking Lot
The video above shows the scene earlier this afternoon outside Upper Darby High School in suburban Philly. The footage was sent to us by a reader, and it looks and sounds like it was filmed by a student inside a classroom at the school. As the scene unfolds, the students watching from inside the s...

TV Station That Fell For Parody Of Hines Ward Signing With The Ravens Now Says He's "Returning To The Ice"
Pittsburgh's WPXI-TV meant to say Sidney Crosby, just like they never meant to say this....

Man Bites Off Part Of Coach's Ear After Middle School Basketball Game
This one comes to us from Springfield, Mass., where 34-year-old Timothy Forbes turned himself in yesterday on a series of charges for allegedly starting a fight after a middle school Catholic Youth Organization basketball game. Police have identified Forbes as an assistant coach with the Springfield...

European Women's Chess Tournament Bans Excessive Cleavage
The introduction of a dress code limiting the cleavage of lady chess players at first seems repressive....

Last Night's Arena Football Season-Opener Was A Farce
Arena Football's 25th season kicked off last night, but it would be a stretch to call what was played in Orlando "football." A players' strike hours before kickoff meant both teams mostly used replacement players selected in a draft before the game, leaving NFL Network announcers without rosters a...

The Pirates Are Considering Adding The Sid Bream Nightmare To Fans' Daily Listening Experience
Having to watch the Pittsburgh Pirates play baseball every night just isn't enough punishment, apparently. Now Pirates fans might get a nightly reminder of the one moment most of them can't bring themselves to discuss without staring off into the distance and cursing incoherently about somebody name...

New Illinois Football Coach Using Porridge As Punishment
This is how Tim Beckman hopes to rid the Illini program of the taste left by Ron Zook's seven seasons in charge:...

Soviet Russian Wayne Rooney Presents: Tottenham Hotspur Vs. Manchester United Open Thread
Because soccer is Communist, we figured we'd have a bit of Party-approved fun. Fox Soccer says it's a "Clash of the Giants," though they've been portraying everything, including infomercials, that way for a week. Here's your open thread—er, открытая тема—for today's match at White Hart Lane....

Shirtless Arsenal Fan Is A Bit Too Excited About The Gunners' 2-1 Win Over Liverpool
Robin van Persie continued his epic goal-scoring campaign in the Premier League today, scoring both Arsenal goals—the second in stoppage time—to lead his team to a road win at Anfield today. It gave van Persie 25 goals on the season in as many matches, and sent this Arsenal supporter into an ecst...

A.J. Burnett Will Miss 2 To 3 Months Because He Broke His Face Trying To Bunt
Burnett fractured his orbital bone when this happened on Wednesday, and he had to have surgery this morning. Best-case scenario has him out of the rotation until early May, which means Erik Bedard will likely be the Bucs' Opening Day starter. It's only been a few weeks since the trade, but it's alre...

Man Accused Of Assaulting Three People With A Clock Channels Hulk Hogan For TV Reporter
Seth O'Donnell of Scottsdale, Pa., is accused of beating three people, including his mother, last week with a mantel clock. His preliminary hearing yesterday was delayed, but outside the proceeding he had a little message for all you Hulkamaniacs out there....

Now A.J. Burnett Is Officially A Pirate: He Hurt Himself Bunting A Ball Off His Face
Pirates manager Clint Hurdle's affection for the bunt is such that he once had his cleanup hitter do it last season with the go-ahead run on first—and in a game in which that cleanup hitter already had two hits. Hurdle holds an annual bunting tournament in spring training, and yesterday, this is w...

Some People Take Their Karate Photo Shoots Way Too Seriously
World Wide Interweb went ahead and tipped us off that World Wide Interweb posted "The 25 Funniest Martial Arts Glamour Photos" last night....

Soccer Player Says Soccer Players Prefer Prostitutes Because Prostitutes Are Trustworthy
Tottenham's Louis Saha is 33 and pushing an autobiography. To promote it, Saha is using the tried and true method of discussing the penchant of Premier League players to frequent prostitutes:...

This Lil Wayne Appearance At The NBA All-Star Festivities Was Just Weird
Charles Barkley couldn't resist a quick drug reference after this painful interview with Lil Wayne (or, as he was introduced, "Little Wayne") which followed a regrettable performance by Gym Class Heroes on the NBA's All-Star pregame show on TNT....

BBC Tries its Damnedest Not To Show Streaker At Six Nations Match, Shows Streaker Anyway
The Beeb's a paragon of good taste and proper culture, which rather makes you wonder how the Six Nations rugby competition ends up on its esteemed airways. (Or this.) Yet there it is, and in today's match featuring France against Scotland in Edinburgh the BBC found itself face-to-face with a nake...
![Pirates' Flagship Radio Station Has Instructed Its Sports-Talk Hosts Not To Discuss Team President's DUI [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17efkt1nv6moxjpg.jpg)
Pirates' Flagship Radio Station Has Instructed Its Sports-Talk Hosts Not To Discuss Team President's DUI [UPDATE]
Put aside the fact that Frank Coonelly, the president of the Pittsburgh Pirates, was cited for DUI just before Christmas, only to have the news of it finally see the light of day today. The Pittsburgh sports-talk station that reached an agreement in September to broadcast the Pirates' games has now ...

Pittsburgh Pirates President Charged With DUI
Frank Coonelly's blood-alcohol level was allegedly at least twice the legal limit when he was pulled over in suburban Pittsburgh on Dec. 22. He was also charged with one count each of drunken driving, careless driving, and driving the wrong way, the last of which the Pirates have been doing for 20 y...

ESPN Inadvertently Mic'd Two Mavs Fans Last Night, So Here's The Highlights Of Their Commentary
The Lakers' 96-91 win over the Mavericks last night ended up being more interesting late than it should have been—mostly due to L.A.'s inability to hit free throws down the stretch. Yet there was another, more unique narrative taking place on one of ESPN's audio channels. ...

An Interview With The 160-Pound Test Proctor Who Is Challenging Musician Chris Brown To An MMA Fight
In 2009, entertainer Chris Brown was charged with felony assault of then-girlfriend Rihanna and sentenced to five years of probation and six months of community service. The man behind the Twitter handle @ChrsBrwnChllnge, who hasn't disclosed his name besides saying that his initials are D.G., doesn...