human Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Minor League Umpire Ejects Ballpark Music Guy For Playing "Three Blind Mice"
If there's one thing umpires love more than ejecting players, it's ejecting non-players. That goes for managers but also fans, mascots, and other ballpark patrons. Tommy Lasorda once complained to umpire Bob Davidson that Youppi!, the Montreal Expos mascot, was jumping up and down on his dugout. (Da...

Joe West Gets Clobbered Upside The Head, Starts Bleeding, Does Not Break Into Song
It was a tough night behind the dish for Joe West, who got knocked hard in the ol' noodle by the follow-through of Carlos Lee's swing. The game was delayed for a few minutes while West was attended to by the Braves' medical staff. Sadly, as far as we know, he did not pass the time by humming a few...

Man Ruins Perfectly Good Sweater With Tribute To Joe Mauer
Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey....

Mike Schur Is "Ravenously Hungry" For More Replay In Baseball
According to Bud Selig, "the appetite for more replay [in baseball] is very low." Because what would baseball be if it were not for that certain "human element?" However, in this week's excerpt from Slate's podcast Hang Up and Listen, Mike "Ken Tremendous" Schur (last seen around Deadspin in Septe...

FOX, Umpires Conspire To Confuse The Shit Out Of Everyone Watching The Mets And Braves
Here is an almost three minute long clip from this afternoon's Mets-Braves game. The scene: bottom of the fifth, one out, one on (Martin Prado on first), Jason Heyward at the plate. Heyward lines a 1-0 pitch to left and then, well, who the hell knows what happened....

Umpire Sam Holbrook Tossed Zack Greinke After Just Four Pitches Last Night
On the off chance you thought a new day had dawned, here's some bad news: umpires are still assholes sometimes....

MLB Umpires Reverse Blown Call, World Does Not Collapse On Itself
For about 5 seconds last night, the bottom of the seventh in the Indians-Rays game was over. Tampa Bay was trotting into the dugout after getting the benefit of a blown call on a bobbled ball at first by Carlos Pena. Then something crazy happened....

Yerrrr Out-Out-Out-Out!: An Animated Gallery Of Every MLB Umpire's Strike-Three Call (Part 2)
Enjoyed our first batch of strike-three calls? Well, here's another heaping helping for you. This collection includes such notables as Jim Joyce, Angel Hernandez, Balkin' Bob Davidson, and the legendary contortions of one Tom Hallion, who may have the greatest punchout in the history of umpiring. Sc...

Yerrrr Out-Out-Out-Out!: An Animated Gallery Of Every MLB Umpire's Strike-Three Call (Part 1)
At last, after 72 entries, we've completed our Better Know An Umpire series. We hope you've enjoyed learning more about the human elements in blue, the men who wander anonymously through the sport, even as they make the game all about them. Next time some stooge in a chest protector screws your team...

Angry Baseball Takes Out Aggression On Umpire Brian Gorman's Face
Not really sure how we should interpret this one. Was it a completely random occurrence? Does Eric Hosmer have some beef with Brian Gorman we don't know about? Or are the balls, after so much atrocious umpiring this season, finally rebelling in a futile effort to regain control of the game they've m...

Prince Fielder Found Himself In A Rundown, And Somehow Emerged Safely
Prince Fielder hit the deck no fewer than three times during tonight's Tigers loss in Arlington to the Rangers, but did so no more bizarrely than here in which the portly first baseman ran his way out of a rundown, waving his arms like a man fleeing a burning building along the way....

Dewayne Wise's "Catch": Plucky Gamesmanship Or Low-Down Dirty Cheating? Discuss!
OK, obviously, what happened down the left-field line at Yankee Stadium last night was some ludicrous, amazing bullshit, and umpire Mike DiMuro is a disgrace. But what about Dewayne Wise? By acting as if he had the ball in his empty glove, was he cleverly grabbing any available competitive edge, li...

Manny Gonzalez Submits His Nominee For Worst Blown Call Of The Year
Manny Gonzalez is not an MLB staff umpire, and he had only umped 53 games at the highest level through last season. (He doesn't even have an official profile.) Indeed, he's been bouncing around the minors since the early '90s, and it appears he may never get the permanent call to The Show if he kee...
![The Greatest Trick Dewayne Wise Ever Pulled Was Convincing The World He Caught This Ball [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17r17aparlxnxjpg.jpg)
The Greatest Trick Dewayne Wise Ever Pulled Was Convincing The World He Caught This Ball [UPDATE]
Outfielder Dewayne Wise is used to making athletic catches. He saved Mark Buehrle's perfect game once upon a time. But it turns out he's also pretty good at selling an obvious drop on a sensational effort. He fooled YES announcer Michael Kay, he fooled the tens of thousands of other fans who didn't...

Carlos Santana Was Out By Six Feet, Except That Umpire Jim Wolf Is Legally Blind
Most of the time, umpiring is really easy, like this play from last night's Reds-Indians game. Joey Votto scoops up the grounder on the first base side and throws it to shortstop Zach Cozart, who's covering second. Carlos Santana basically gives up on sliding into the base, because he recognizes, b...

If You Are A Journalist, Ukraine's Soccer Coach Will Fight You
Ukraine head coach Oleg Blokhin, who's something of a soccer legend in Russia, really wanted to beat the shit out of some journalists today, after his squad lost 1-0 to England and was eliminated from Euro 2012. What made the day worse for Blokhin was that Ukraine appeared to score in the 63rd min...

PGA Tour Lawyers Try Really Hard To Scare Us Into Taking Down Their Dumb Video
Way back in January we posted this low-quality video, filmed off some schmo's TV screen, of a sound guy tripping and falling as Ryuji Imada prepared for his drive. It was not the pinnacle of sports commentary, but it was a guy falling down, and I thought it was pretty funny....

As A Golfer Considers His Shot, A Sound Guy Behind Him Absolutely Eats It
The Humana Challenge used to be the Bob Hope Classic, but what's Bob Hope going to do about it? He's dead. But while Bob was never particularly big on physical humor, even he would have gotten a kick out of this sound guy's entrance, stage left....

The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...

Happy Halloween! Meet The Human Centipede Pumpkin
We here at Deadspin are great fans of the Human Centipede series of films—the second of which hit theaters a week and a half ago. And we're also great fans of Halloween, or something. So when some reader—in this case Adam K., of lovely Wrightsville Beach, NC—sends us a Human Centipede-carved pumpkin...