Why'd You Dress Up?
I see you. Spandex. Spiderman. I see you there. What are you doing?
You Will Fail
Congratulations on your resolve to get into the best shape of your life this year. You will fail.
Fitness Is Not A Computer
Here is what you need in order to work out: your own body, something to wear, at least 64 cubic feet of space (though less will do in a pinch). Here is what you do not need: a computer on your wrist. Particularly not if that computer is trying to snitch on you.
Does Your Personal Trainer Suck?
Do you pay someone money to help you with "fitness" in some way? Let me ask you a personal question: Does he or she suck? Oh it is quite likely, yes.
Grip It Good
A RIDDLE: Who is stronger? Jeff, whose huge biceps pop up when he makes a "flexing" motion, as he frequently does; or his brother Jeremy, who has huge triceps thanks to endless skull crushers and "tricep kickbacks"? The answer may surprise you.
Health Is Bad For You: My Weird Weekend At Toronto's Fitness Shitshow
TORONTO—"Dear Toronto Pro Supershow Delegate," read a slip of paper handed to everyone checking in at Toronto's Intercontinental Hotel on Friday. "For your convenience we have 'Special Towels' through our Housekeeping Department. We recommend that these special towels/ linens be used in conjunction with any treatments…
Don't Just Stand There
At my gym, OK, there's only one really good place to do pullups. If someone is occupying the pullup area, that means nobody else is doing pullups at that particular time. That means that, if you are the person in the pullup area, you have a responsibility. A responsibility to do pullups. A responsibility to not just…
The 10 Supplements You Actually Need
Men's Health, a magazine for men who are healthy and dumb, will tell you that there are 10 supplements that you, the fitness-seeking man, "actually need." Oh really? You can't go to the gym without "Coenzyme Q10?" You can't work out unless you're shoveling glucosamine powder down your gullet? It takes selenium tablets…
You Have To Work Out To Get A Workout
Every New Year, millions of people resolve to "get in shape." And, a few weeks into January—right about now—millions of people tire of their dreary new traditional exercise programs, and re-resolve to get in shape creatively. "I'll walk every night," they say. "I'll work in the garden, and take the stairs, and live an…
