i Page 4892 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stan Wawrinka And Juan Martin Del Potro Both Beat The Sad Tennis Ball
Well after 1 a.m. in Queens this morning, Stan Wawrinka defeated Juan Martin del Potro in four sets, but the real loser was every tennis ball in play. The quarterfinal match pitted two of the sport’s most violent groundstrokes against one another and admittedly, all that violence is pretty to look a...

We're Simulating Tonight's Panthers-Broncos Game In Tecmo Super Bowl With Updated Rosters
The NFL season is here, and if you thought we’d let tonight’s opener go without simulating on an old NES then you’re crazy. We’re LIVE on Facebook:...

Famous Old Soccer Man Comes Out Of Retirement To Join Retirement League
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a great and celebrated soccer star, who not too long ago decided he didn’t have the drive and/or talent to hack it in the sport anymore, has chosen to take his talents to the geriatric enrichment program known as MLS due to his (likely accurate) belief that, ...

Indians Score Two Runs On What Was Definitely A Foul Ball
The Cleveland Indians had the bases loaded in the bottom of the third inning against the Astros earlier today when Lonnie Chisenhall fouled off a ball that first bounced in front of the plate....

Bruce Miller Charged With Seven Felonies, Allegedly Beat Elderly Man With Cane
Former 49ers fullback Bruce Miller, who was released by the team after he was arrested for allegedly beating a 70-year-old man and his son in a San Francisco hotel, was formally charged today with seven felonies and a misdemeanor. The charges, from the San Francisco District Attorney’s office, are a...

Let's Remember Some Guys
This morning we were talking about some running backs we used to like, and I remembered that I really liked Stephen Davis. Maybe you’ve forgotten about Stephen Davis :( But now you remember him. Let’s remember some other guys:...

Fire Half The Managers
As you glance up from your real job and gaze at the rows of offices occupied by “managers,” do you ever get the feeling that nothing of value is really going on over there? My friend, you are exactly right. ...

Remember When Donald Trump Didn't Know Why There Were 13 Stripes On The American Flag?<em></em>
Back in 2008, Donald Trump was asked to pay a $10,000 fee after he illegally erected a 70-foot flag pole at one of his golf clubs in California. Donald Trump did not want to pay the $10,000 fee. Not because he’s grossly misrepresented his liquid assets, of course, but because the American flag is ab...

They Shouldn’t Play The National Anthem Before Sporting Events
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....

Jason Pierre-Paul Is Suing ESPN Because Its Reporting Was Too Accurate<em></em>
New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul is scheduled to face off against ESPN and reporter Adam Schefter in a Florida federal court next August. At issue is a tweet Schefter posted in 2015 containing two photos of Pierre-Paul’s medical records....

Roger Goodell Vs. The Refs
I want to make a revelation that I truly believe—and have believed for a long time:...

Deadspin 25: Middle Tennessee State Is Ready To Run The Conference USA
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

Who To Start? Who To Sit? Fantasy Football Advice For Week One Is Here.
Week one of the NFL season is upon us, and if you’re one of the 75 million fantasy football players in the world, you’re probably wondering who to start and who to sit. Our weekly fantasy football advice column is here to answer all of your questions....

FIFA Upholds Transfer Bans For Real Madrid And Atlético
Nearly eight months after first announcing transfer sanctions on both Real Madrid and Atlético Madrid in response to rule violations in the signing of underage players, FIFA has officially rejected the two clubs’ appeals. Neither Madrid club will be able to register new players until January of 2018...

Dana White Tells Mickey Gall To Use Harder Entrance Music
MMA fighter Mickey Gall, who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page and will take on former WWE wrestler CM Punk at UFC 203, had planned to use Toni Basil’s “Mickey” at his entrance music Saturday. Clever, right? UFC president Dana White wasn’t on board....

The <i>New York Times</i> Doesn't Know What Aleppo Is, Either
Everyone agrees that Gary Johnson, who is pretending to be an actual candidate for the presidency under the banner of the Libertarian Party, humiliated himself this morning by not knowing what “Aleppo” was. The New York Times immediately read his embarrassing gaffe into the record. It wrote:...

The Cardinals Lost Their 65th Game
Jung-ho Kang’s home run was the difference Wednesday as the Pittsburgh Pirates edged the St. Louis Cardinals, 4-3....

Big, Stupid Falcons Stadium To Feature Big, Stupid Bird Statue
The Atlanta Falcons appear to be very committed to building the most batshit insane football stadium in American history. They already went and approved a design that will make the stadium resemble a robot’s anus, and now they are going to grace the grounds with what is purported to be the largest b...

Seahawks Considering National Anthem Protest As A Team
In the fourth week of the preseason, two other NFL players joined Colin Kaepernick in sitting out the playing of the “Star-Spangled Banner”: his 49ers teammate Eric Reid, and Seahawks CB Jeremy Lane. Lane said he will continue his protest into the regular season, but he may not be alone....