i Page 4902 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Which Country’s Olympic Team Is The Horniest?<em></em>
Greetings from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan! I can’t believe Wisconsin gave away this parcel of land to Michigan for free back in the day. Pretty weak, imho. Those gravy-bathing cheesehumpers let a copper-rich peninsula fall into the hands of a state that isn’t even connected to it. If I were Mic...
Kobe Bryant Is All About That $700 Juicer
Kobe Bryant rang in the New York Stock Exchange yesterday and unveiled his new career: heading up a $100 million venture capital fund. Along with Jeff Stibel—a former Web.com CEO—the creatively named Bryant Stibel will invest in “technology, media and data companies.” Apparently, the fund will succe...
Actually, Horse Sports Are Good
The funny thing about bias is that it’s the necessary basis of any opinion. And now that we’ve all had our quadrennial opportunity to reinvest in mildly-biased opinions on oft-ignored athletics, it’s time to talk about horse sports, and opinions about horse sports....
Welcome To Mike Pence's Living Hell
Mike Pence, who will be spending the next three months paying for the grievous sins of a past life and also probably this one, forced his mother to hold a piece of chicken on a plane yesterday evening....
Reports: Brock Lesnar And Chris Jericho Fought Over Bloody SummerSlam Ending
Sunday’s SummerSlam ended with Brock Lesnar opening up a huge gash on Randy Orton’s head via a series of very real punches and elbows. As is often the case when blood is spilled in the ring, it was hard to tell whether Lesnar tearing a hole in Orton’s head was a work, but a pair of reports from the ...
Iowa Strength Coach Is Making $595,000 This Year
There comes a moment in every fan’s life when they realize that certain power programs’ claims that they can’t afford to pay players don’t stand up. I hope this is someone’s moment!...
Little League Coach Makes Mound Visit To Tell His Son He Loves Him
The Little League World Series is good for three things: Feeling good for the happy children who win, feeling bad for the sad children who lose, and the occasional dose of good dadding....
Aw Man, The Yankees Are Going To Be Very Good Very Soon
Gary Sanchez has had a start to his MLB career right up there with those of Yankees, uh, legends, like Shane Spencer and Kevin Maas and Shelley Duncan. With two more dang dingers last night in New York’s 7-5 loss in Seattle, the 23-year-old catcher now has eight home runs in his first 19 games—a fra...
MLB Owns Darren Rovell Online For Posting Erroneous Picture
Darren Rovell—a living, breathing blazer from Northwestern’s business school—is fond of tweeting out pictures. Sometimes, it’s a cake that’s shaped like a shoe, and usually it’s a piece of truly fucked up junk food from a stadium. Tonight, he posted a very well-composed picture of the Chicago White ...
Philly Sports Radio World Rocked By True Story Of Fake Caller "Dwayne From Swedesboro"<em></em>
A local Philadelphia iteration of Skippy And Goatface’s Morning Sports Holocaust on 97.5 The Fanatic has an infamous caller: “Dwayne From Swedesboro.” Dwayne’s schtick is that he’s black, horny for white women, and runs into all sorts of paternity-test problems. According to an exhaustive, truly imp...
Andrew Benintendi May Have Just Made The Catch Of The Season
David Price pitched a gem for the Red Sox this evening, striking out eight men and only giving up two hits in eight innings of work. His night would have been a lot less spectacular, had Andrew Benintendi not flown across the outfield to leap up on top of the wall to rob Steven Souza of a dinger....
Who Bugged The New Zealand Rugby Team?
Perhaps inspired by the New England Patriots, someone hid a bug inside a chair in a New Zealand rugby team’s meeting room last week in order to spy on them, per the New Zealand Herald. The All Blacks were staying in a hotel in Sydney, and set to meet in the conference room where they found the bug. ...
High School Athlete Charged With Sexually Assaulting Two Unconscious Women Gets Probation<em></em>
In April, East Longmeadow High School senior David Becker was charged with sexually assaulting two of his classmates at a party while they were unconscious. Prosecutors recommended that the three-sport athlete be found guilty, MassLive.com reported, on two counts of indecent assault and battery. The...
Chiefs Fans Viciously Brawl, Ignore Security At Rams Game
The Rams have only hosted two football games so far during their brief tenure in Los Angeles, but both of them have featured big fights in the bleachers. Last week, rival groups of Rams fans commemorated the first Rams game in L.A. by punching the shit out of each other. On Saturday, this Chiefs fan...
Deadspin Up All Night: They Shot A Movie Once In My Hometown
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. The night crew is in shortly....
Leave The Cincinnati Zoo's Twitter Account Alone
The director of the Cincinnati Zoo, home of the dead gorilla Harambe, has made a plea to internet funnypeople to give it a rest already:...
Report: Danny Valencia Punched Billy Butler For Tattling About Shoes
The San Francisco Chronicle has gotten the full story behind the fight between Oakland A’s teammates Billy Butler and Danny Valencia, which apparently started because Butler ratted out Valencia for wearing the wrong cleats....
Roberto Aguayo Is In A Tough Place Right Now
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers made the most puzzling pick of this year’s NFL draft when they took Florida State kicker Roberto Aguayo in the second round. Although they got their guy (well before they needed to) the team’s perceived value of him seems to have inadvertently screwed him....
Pop-Tarts Flavors, Ranked
1. Unfrosted blueberry...
Damn, Not Even A Mattress Company Will Endorse Ryan Lochte Now
Ryan Lochte has been dropped by four of his sponsors following his lie about a robbery in Rio that sparked a brief international incident implicating three of his teammates. ...