i Page 5019 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Atlético Madrid Kill Barcelona, Rule Europe For Now
It was always going to come down to that first goal. Coming off a 2-1 first leg of this Barcelona-Atlético Madrid Champions League quarterfinal tie that Barça narrowly edged at home, the next goal was always going to have a huge influence on who went on and who went home. Score it, and Atlético coul...

Baylor Player Dismissed For "Team Rule Violation" Was Subject Of Rape Investigation
When former tight end Tre’Von Armstead was dismissed from Baylor’s football team last year, the team said it was because he violated team rules. A report today by Paula Lavigne for ESPN’s Outside the Lines shows that the dismissal happened a week after Baylor began an investigation for possible sexu...
![Former Baylor Defensive End Shawn Oakman Arrested On Sexual Assault Charge [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/re5mq7icafhrciaxwsww.jpg)
Former Baylor Defensive End Shawn Oakman Arrested On Sexual Assault Charge [Updated]
According to the Waco Tribune-Herald, former Baylor football player Shawn Oakman has been arrested and charged with sexually assaulting a fellow student on April 3, 2016....

ESPN Asks How Kobe Bryant Being Credibly Accused Of Rape Affected Kobe Bryant
When a sports event becomes so big that it produces a flood of coverage, as Kobe Bryant’s season-long goodbye tour has, it’s easy for pundits and reporters to end up in awkward positions simply by virtue of having had to say so much for so long about one thing....

Von Miller Won't Even Let Cam Newton Play Water Polo In Peace
A fun picture of Cam Newton playing water polo with the U.S. Olympic team was making the rounds yesterday. Von Miller saw the picture, as well as this ingenious Photoshop job by @LLtweets, and couldn’t resist the opportunity to rib the man he spent the entire Super Bowl torturing:...

Let’s Talk About Proper Grammatical Usage Of The Word "Porn"
This week, a Deadcast listener sent in a question about using the word “porn” versus the word “porno.” And even though NO ONE uses the term “porno” anymore except old bros like me who pine for the porno-y days of the 1980s, I am of the firm belief that those two words do NOT mean the same thing, and...

Karim Benzema Won't Play For France This Summer Due To Sex Tape Scandal
For as large as the legal ramifications of Karim Benzema’s involvement in the attempted blackmailing of fellow French soccer player Mathieu Valbuena have loomed over the Real Madrid star’s head, the effect the ordeal would have on his international career was also one of his chief concerns. Today he...

Your Last-Minute, Pants-Shitting Guide To Taxes
Oh holy living fuck, Tax Day is Monday! Have you filed yet? Do you owe penalties? SHIT YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL. You better run. I know a place in Mexico where you can lie low for a bit while the Feds go searching for you. It’ll buy you the time you need, and then you can jump a shipping freight...

Dee Gordon Turned A 16-Pitch At-Bat Into The Game-Winning Run
Marlins second baseman Dee Gordon was an absolute pest to Mets reliever Jim Henderson in Tuesday’s game. Gordon milked his eighth-inning at-bat for 16 pitches before he lifted a single into shallow left field....

The Profane Teachings Of Johnny Rodz, The Wrestler Who Jobbed His Way Into The Hall Of Fame
I’m standing in Gleason’s Gym in Brooklyn, New York, a place Ali and Jake LaMotta trained in decades ago, and Johnny Rodz is giving me shit because I told him I like The Wrestler....

Middlesbrough Score Bonkers 94th-Minute Winner To Go Top Of The Championship
Fighting to remain above the fray and qualify for promotion to the Premier League directly, Middlesborough took on midtable Reading yesterday. Deep into stoppage time the game was still 1-1, but on a last gasp corner kick, Middlesbrough scored whatever the hell this is....
![Hector Olivera Involved In Domestic Dispute At Virginia Hotel [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mh8li292ochl9yjcbkyn.jpg)
Hector Olivera Involved In Domestic Dispute At Virginia Hotel [Updated]
Atlanta Braves outfielder Hector Olivera was arrested this morning in connection with a domestic dispute at a hotel in Arlington, Va. WJLA reported the news first....

Hawaii Needs You, Teachers
If you’re a job-hunter with teaching experience and a willingness to overlook a terrible economic proposition for the chance to live year-round in one of our most popular vacation destinations, Hawaii has the perfect opportunity for you....

Report: The Kings Will Fire George Karl. Duh.
The Sacramento Bee and ESPN are reporting the least-surprising coach firing of the year. After their final game tonight, the Sacramento Kings will reportedly dump George Karl, who will have made it through just a season and a half as the Kings’ head coach. The team has now run through eight head coa...

World Famous Headbutter Zinedine Zidane: "I Never Lost My Head As A Player"
You may know Zinedine Zidane as the manager of Real Madrid. If you don’t know him from that, you definitely remember him as the guy who flipped out in the 2006 World Cup final and headbutted an opponent. Though apparently Zidane himself has forgotten about that, judging from some recent quotes....

Here Is The Grimmest Of All Philadelphia 76er Anecdotes
Ontological question: If an NBA team chooses its players precisely for their generic inability to compete in the NBA—that is to say, for not belonging in the NBA at all—then are they truly NBA players?...

ESPN's Insane Adam LaRoche Puff Piece Features LaRoche Liberating Sex Slaves
ESPN’s Tim Keown did a deep dive on former White Sox 1B/DH Adam LaRoche today, the kind of purple-hued schlongread that purports to tell you the REAL STORY of LaRoche’s decision to walk away from baseball after White Sox boss Ken Williams asked him to stop bringing his son to the ballpark every day....

Aston Villa Decide They're Too Terrible To Hand Out Awards
Aston Villa are bad. Really bad. Really, really bad....

The Atlanta Braves Are Very Bad, And Fredi Gonzalez Isn't Helping
It’s not easy managing a team as bereft of talent as the Atlanta Braves, so my first impulse is to feel bad for Fredi Gonzalez, who has steered his garbage team to an 0-7 start. But the Braves have been in some very winnable games, and Gonzalez hasn’t been doing much but tripping over his own feet i...

WADA, Which Fucks Up Many Things, Admits It Fucked Up On Meldonium
A few months and more than a hundred athlete suspensions into WADA’s ban of Meldonium, the World Anti-Doping Agency now admits that it has no clue how long Meldonium stays in a person’s system, and it may have erroneously punished athletes who stopped taking the drug before it was illegal. Because W...