i Page 5036 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Nantz Appears To Be Insane
In attempt to teach you what real pain is, Golf Digest decided to let Jim Nantz go Kerouac on everyone’s ass. You should never expose yourself to Jim Nantz’s stream-of-consciousness musings, but I would like to briefly draw your attention to his deeply disturbing anecdote about toast:...
Guy Falls At The Start, Gets Trampled, And Wins World Half Marathon Championship
Now this is how to win the World Half Marathon Championship. Kenyan ace Geoffrey Kamworor’s ripping victory in 59:10 (that’s averaging four minutes and 30 seconds per mile for 13.1 miles) at Sunday’s race in Cardiff, Wales, is a thing of physiological wonder. That any human could scissor his legs ov...
Syria Score An Especially Painful And Embarrassing Own Goal
All own goals are painful for those who score them. This one, though, scored when Syria’s keeper punched a cross straight into teammate Hamdi Al Masri’s face for the ball to ricochet back into their own net, had to hurt even worse than normal, physically as well as psychically:...
Point Giannis To Wreck Shit On A Permanent Basis
Good news for all the Giannis Antetokounmpo fans out there, particularly those of us who have enjoyed the results of Jason Kidd’s “Fuck it, let’s put the 6-foot-11 monster at point guard” experiment. According to Kidd, Antetokounmpo will be the team’s starting point guard next season....
Teleportation Is The Best Superpower, And We’re Getting Closer
I’m not going to waste too many words selling you on that first idea. Of course teleportation is the best superpower, and I’m confident you know that regardless of how you feel about planes, trains, or automobiles. Teleportation is so good that if you had one wish, and world peace was on the table, ...
Young Thug: Still A Genius Alien Child
This spring is Slime Season, and for once I’m grateful that this does not just refer to my seasonally allergic eyeballs, gathering gunk. Young Thug just dropped his tightest release since last year’s Barter 6, and it’s worth keeping on a loop for the foreseeable future....
Report: Royals Still Beefin' Over Noah Syndergaard's World Series Brushback Pitch
The thing to remember is that all baseball players are large babies....
The Deranged True Story Of <i>Heavy Metal Parking Lot</i>, The <i>Citizen Kane</i> Of Wasted Teenage Metalness
Suburban dirtballs of the 1980s are a lost culture, worthy of academic study, that disappeared abruptly, leaving mysterious artifacts for future generations to work over. Think of them as, say, the ancient Mayans, only with mullets....
NFL Demands Retraction From <i>New York Times</i>
The NFL is still all worked up about that New York Times story that revealed the league’s initial studies on the link between football and CTE to have been based on bunk data. They’re so worked up, in fact, that the league’s lawyers sent a letter to the Times, demanding retraction while making vague...
The Dadspin Explainer: Hitler
Here at Dadspin, we understand how difficult it is to explain certain subjects to your children. This is why we’ve created Dadspin Explainer, a handy running guide to teaching your children about really horrible shit. ...
Intense Hockey Referee Is A Good Referee
Referee Wes McCauley needed a replay review to confirm a questionable Melker Karlsson goal during last night’s Kings-Sharks game, and he went all out when making the call:...
Jonathan Bernier Accidentally Spit On An Ice Crew Member
Excellent reaction by Bernier here....
Coach K Has Pulled This "You're Too Good To Celebrate" Shit Before
In the handshake line after Oregon beat Duke, Mike Krzyzewski scolded Dillon Brooks: “You’re too good of a player to showboat,” he said. When asked about it later, Krzyzewski got pissy with reporters and lied about what he said. Then the audio came out. Krzyzewski apologized, not because he thought ...
Carlos Gomez Homers, Dabs, Shuts Down Rob Dibble
If you had to bet on one guy dabbing after crushing a spring-training home run, Carlos Gomez would have been a very safe play:...
Matt Harvey's Wee-Wee Hurts Because He Didn't Do Enough Tinkles
Yesterday afternoon brought down a Category 4 Mets Panic when word got out that Matt Harvey was in danger of missing his Opening Day start due to some mystery ailment. The panic got even worse when manager Terry Collins and GM Sandy Alderson steadfastly refused to say just what the hell was wrong wi...
Unsealed NHL Emails Show Gary Bettman Discussing The Effects Of Fighting And Concussions
The NFL settled its lawsuit, brought by former players alleging the league conspired to hide and downplay the effects of concussions, for a very good reason: it prevented the potential release of years’ worth of documents and intraoffice communications that might have revealed the truth, or at the v...
The USMNT Better Goddamn Beat Guatemala
The United States Men’s National Team is in danger of failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. If it happened, it would be the first time the USMNT missed the world’s greatest sporting event since Mexico in 1986. If they lose to Guatemala Tuesday night, they’ll need an awful lot of help from Saint...
Little Kid Runs Onto The Court To Hug Carmelo Anthony
Little man here must live in a state of perpetual basketball disappointment: his hometown team is the New Orleans Pelicans, and he likes Carmelo Anthony. So if Carmelo Anthony is in town and he has tickets in the lower bowl, he’s going to sprint onto the court and get a hug, dadgummit....