i Page 5156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Frozen-Food Smackdown: Totino's Pizza Rolls Vs. Hot Pockets Snack Bites
Dweezil Zappa’s dad memorably declared that a country’s legitimacy is predicated upon its having its own airline and its own beer, and maybe a football team and a nuclear arsenal for good measure. With all due respect to the groovy and departed, I’d like to suggest that in this more enlightened age,...
<i>The Night Before </i>Is One Seth Rogen Bromance Too Many
A lot of comics have a shtick, and the trick is to give it enough flexibility so that it can be twisted and reshaped in myriad ways without breaking. Since Seth Rogen’s leading-man breakthrough in 2007’s Knocked Up, his has been impressively bendy, playing overgrown man-children who end up pulling t...
We Have Found The Key To Defeating Aaron Rodgers
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Brian Hoyer Couldn't Remember The Plays After Suffering A Concussion
The Houston Chronicle reports that Brian Hoyer will not play on Sunday vs. the Jets, with T.J. Yates starting and newly signed Brandon Weeden backing up. Hoyer has yet to pass the tests to get out of the NFL’s concussion protocol, after a scary reaction to what looked at the time like a workaday hit...
Is Tom Brady A Fancy Dog?
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is on the cover of GQ’s Men of the Year issue, and the cover story is accompanied by a slideshow of artfully produced photos of Brady. These pictures have left us asking one question, though: Is Tom Brady a fancy dog? Let’s go to the evidence:...
Things To Learn Because Your Fantasy Football Team Flamed Out
Your fantasy team is dead. That one guy—the one you don’t like—has everything on lock. On the one hand, that’s too bad for you and for your friends, who are in your league and whose teams are also dead; on the other hand, it presents you and your friends with the opportunity to take up new interests...
Ray Rice Is Using The Greg Hardy Case To Promote Himself
Former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice, who last year dragged his fiancée out of an elevator after he knocked her unconscious, has shared some new thoughts on domestic abuse. This morning, Rice went on WFAN’s Boomer & Carton Show. After beginning the interview by mentioning that he is in foot...
A Completely Attainable Guide To Getting Rich And Following Your Dreams
I was drawn to this ridiculous New York Times styles section profile by its accompanying tweet: “From finance guy to ceramicist.” It gets better when you read the first paragraph:...
The Sixers' Latest Master Plan: Playing With Six Men
The winless Philadelphia 76ers were down by nine to the Pacers Wednesday night. Intentionally or not, six Sixers walked onto the court. That’s not allowed....
The 26 Weirdest Adult Swim Shows Ever
Adult Swim, the Cartoon Network adult-programming block that has delighted and confused stoners and insomniacs for nearly 15 years, has built a hugely viable brand by producing lots of really weird shit. They love to test the limits of what can be aired on cable TV, from animation to live-action sur...
Gust Of Wind Scores A Crazy Goal From Distance
Wha ... but how ... so the wind just ... huh?...
A Shitting Irish Setter, And More Of The Grossest Things You've Seen On Public Transit
Asking about the grossest thing you guys have ever seen on public transportation may have been a mistake, because I’ve been forced to read many a tale about public defecation and urination, among other bodily fluid-based adventures. If that tickles your fancy, then hang on for our readers’ tales of ...
The Jose Fernandez Trade Rumors Just Started And Reporters Are Fighting About Them
Oh yeah, it’s hot fucking stove season. The most interesting and most frighteningly plausible (given the franchise involved) blockbuster deal being bandied about would involve the Marlins trading away starter Jose Fernandez, an insanely talented 23-year-old under team control for the next three year...
Olivia Munn Doesn't Appreciate Being Mentioned As A Possible "Off-Field Issue"
ESPN’s Rob Demovsky wrote an article titled “Five reasons why quarterback Aaron Rodgers is struggling,” in which he tries to figure out why the Packers’ star quarterback hasn’t been his impeccable self in the last few games. The reasons Demovsky gives range from perfectly reasonable—Jordy Nelson is ...
Nick Saban Gets Heated With Media, Offers Some Impromptu Marriage Advice
Alabama is playing FCS school Charleston Southern this week, a cupcake opponent that would be very easy for the Crimson Tide to look past. Well, some of those turkeys in the media might be overlooking Charleston, but Nick Saban sure as hell isn’t....
No One's Responsible For Chip Kelly's Offense But Chip Kelly
In addition to a concussion, Eagles QB Sam Bradford also suffered a separated shoulder in Sunday’s loss to Miami, according to ESPN. It looks like it’ll be Mark Sanchez under center for at least the next game, which, given Bradford’s play, may or may not be a good thing as Philadelphia desperately n...
After All That, The University Of North Dakota Chose A Boring New Nickname
The University of North Dakota has been engaged in a search for a new nickname for the past year, after they decided to end a decade-long battle with the NCAA and at least one Native American tribe and give up their Fighting Sioux nickname. They solicited suggestions online and received thousands, m...
This Dion Waiters Attempted Layup Is The Saddest Thing I've Ever Seen
Dion Waiters has been better this season, I swear. He’s shooting an astronomical 48% from three on 2.5 attempts per game, and his rebounding is up too. But he’s still Dion Waiters, and so we’re still treated to moments like this:...