i Page 5236 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cyclists' Squirt-Gun Attack On PedalPub Cops Results In Six Arrests
The Minneapolis version of a biker brawl involved some cyclists, three PedalPubs, squirt guns, and water balloons, but the results were, in their way, nearly as disquieting as the Waco incident—the thin veneer of society cracked like a cranium under a billy club. It seems Minnesota nice ends when yo...
What Is The Bleakest Thing?
This is the bleakest thing. Hey, every like counts....
And Now, Our Readers' Worst Food Mishaps
Last week, we asked you to tell us your worst food foibles. We heard a lot of instances of people eating sour cream when they were expecting whipped cream, salt in lieu of sugar, and of course, brie instead of pie. Traumatic plot twist! What follows are far and away the worst stories of food-based m...
The Phillies' GM Is Sick Of All These Fans Who Just "Bitch And Complain"
Phillies GM Ruben Amaro has constructed a team that has put together back-to-back 73-win seasons, and with the club’s current record sitting at 19-28, it doesn’t look like things are going to get better this year. And yet, Amaro would really like for all those disillusioned Phillies fans out there t...
Magic Hat #9 Is Well Past Its Prime
Some people like to show off. This is a boring and undisputed part of the human condition, that we have to share the planet with ostentatiously effective people who are into things like sit-ups and graduate school. Oooh, look at me, I can make weird extra muscles pop out of my stomach! Hey, check ou...
Storytime With Vin Scully: Jonny Gomes Vs. A Wolf
Please enjoy this video from yesterday’s Braves-Dodgers game: Vin Scully, the official narrator of summer, tells the tale of the time a young Jonny Gomes saw his life flash before his eyes when he was tackled by a wolf. I don’t want to ruin the ending, but the wolf did not eat Jonny Gomes....
With Just One Retweet, You'll Help A Pathetic Team Give Something Away
The Mets have approximately 356,000 followers on Twitter. Today, they asked 5,000 accounts—who, according to the fine print, must follow them—to retweet their tweet in order for them to give away an autographed Bartolo Colon jersey....
The Warriors Had No Idea If Steph Curry Had A Concussion Last Night
Steph called it the scariest fall of his career. “You’re in the air for a long time,” he said after the game, “not knowing how you’re going to hit the floor, knowing that it’s inevitable.” Curry’s taken harder hits—and come away with worse symptoms—but that second-and-a-half or so of unexpected flig...
Dwight Howard Hung Out With Stranded Rockets Fans
Historic flooding struck the Houston area last night, with many roads becoming impassable and downright dangerous. As the Rockets closed out their Game 4 win around 11 p.m. local time, Toyota Center officials urged fans to remain in the arena for their own safety....
The NBA Finals Won't Be Moved Up
It’s a good thing the Rockets won last night, if only because that it means the painfully long basketball-less stretch we’re about to face will be slightly less painful. The NBA has confirmed to CBS Sports that no matter how quickly these conference finals wrap up, the Finals won’t begin until a wee...
Gronk Visits Charleston, Stuffs Face Into Girl's Chest
Beer golem Rob Gronkowski went to Charleston, S.C. for Memorial Day weekend, and from the looks of it, the summer of Gronk is making up for all that time spent on deflated balls....
The NFL's Useful Idiots Are At It Again
Now that the Chicago Bears have released defensive end Ray McDonald—who was previously investigated for sexual assault and yesterday was arrested on charges of domestic violence for the second time in a year—a chorus of NFL media stooges have begun squawking for someone to do something about all of ...
Ducks-Blackhawks Makes No Sense And It's Exhilarating
Waking up the next morning, it’s still kind of hard to believe the Ducks won that game. After choking away a three-goal lead amassed before the Blackhawks registered their first shot, and after conceding two goals to Jonathan Toews in the game’s final 1:50, Chicago completing the comeback felt like ...
Soccer In Argentina Suspended Again After Another Player Dies
Just weeks after the passing of Emanuel Ortega from an injury suffered on the field of play, Argentina is again mourning the loss of a player. Cristián Gómez, of Atlético Paraná, died this weekend of cardiac arrest after collapsing in the middle of a game....
Chinese Goalie Sips From A Refreshing Bottle Of Water, Gets Scored On
OY, HEAD ON A SWIVEL, MATE! KEEP ALERT AT ALL TIMES! Here’s video of Chinese Super League keeper Sui Weijie’s career low:...
Jim "Learn The Fucking Rules" Schwartz To Work With NFL Officiating
Who wants Jim Schwartz? The NFL officiating department, apparently....
Tony Kornheiser Defends Josh Duggar, Says Maybe He Should Keep His Job
ESPN personality Tony Kornheiser defended admitted child molester Josh Duggar on his radio show, questioning whether the reality star and former executive director of the powerful Family Research Council should be “driven from his job” for sexually abusing at least five children while he was a teena...
FIFA Slaves Banned From Attending Relatives' Funerals
The 2022 Qatar World Cup will be brought to you by Coca-Cola on the backs of slave workers, many of whom hail from Nepal. These workers live in filth and work in terrifyingly dangerous conditions; their efforts to build the McDonald’s-funded event will result in one dead worker for every 90 seconds ...