i Page 5239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Some Bears Wrestled Over Some Garbage

This soft-ass wrestling match between two bear cubs who were trying to eat garbage broke out in New Jersey this week. Two things:...

Tell Us Your Dumbest Food Mishaps

My brother once ate an entire wedge of brie thinking it was pie. The story goes like this:...

Rick Nash isn’t scoring, but you can’t say he’s not contributing. Nash set up a private screening of the Entourage movie for the Rangers last night, so go ahead and root against them now....

Mizzou Baseball Players Use Red-Headed Teammate To Heat Up A Rally

Rally caps are kind of boring now, so it’s nice to see these baseball dudes from the University of Missouri finding an innovative way to cook up some good vibes for the team....

Former NHL star and current Russian senator Slava Fetisov has called for rules that would prevent Russian hockey players from going to the NHL before they turn 28. In the late ‘80s, Fetisov famously fought the Soviet bureaucracy to make the leap himself, before he got too old to be effective....

"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, Breh

Please, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I litera...

Who's Up For Some Weird Grilled Meat And Jefferson Davis Pie?

The Woe of Cooking is an ongoing fiasco where the guy who does the Beer Idiot unearths the weirdest, grossest recipes he can find in The Joy of Cooking. Last week he cooked Quick Fish Loaf; this time he’s settling for red meat and pie. Okay have fun....

Horrible, No-Good Keeper Sends Flying, Cleats-First Kick Into Ref's Back

A yellow? You’re going to try to embed your cleats into this unsuspecting referee’s vertebrae for a measly yellow card? The world’s a cold, cold place....

Michael Sam Is Going To The CFL

Michael Sam, who came out, got drafted by the Rams, cut, signed by the Cowboys, cut again, and went to the veteran combine, is now a Montreal Alouette. The defensive end signed a two-year contract....

Report: Buffalo, Washington, And Houston Are Potential <i>Hard Knocks</i> Teams

Thanks to new rules instituted after HBO and the NFL had difficulty finding a team to appear on Hard Knocks, the league can now force teams to take part if they meet certain criteria. Nine teams fit the bill: The Browns, Redskins, Giants, Buccaneers, Vikings, Texans, Rams, Titans, and Jaguars. Most ...

Hyper-Violent Cartoon Westerns Don't Get Better (Or Weirder) Than This

If you get hopelessly lost watching the 2008 South Korean adventure The Good, the Bad, the Weird, don’t worry about it. You’re not alone. In fact, during the absurd and complicated horses-and-jeeps-and-motorcycles chase that ends the movie, some of the bandits ask each other, “Who’s that?” when anot...

The Pittsburgh Pirates Would Like To Offer You A Sexual Donut

This post was deleted from the Pittsburgh Pirates’ Instagram account almost as quickly as it went up, but we have the denizens of the internet to thank for preserving this wonderful bit of autocorrect failure, one that turned a “special” offer into a “sexual” one....

How Many Wins Do The Ducks Need Until They're Taken Seriously?

So what if these Ducks are for real? That isn’t meant to be an insulting question. They had a fantastic regular season, but we’ve seen that twice before, each time before playoff flameouts. They rolled through the first two rounds in the West, but they faced a pair of creampuffs. Their Game 1 win ov...

<i>Tomorrowland </i>Is Hopeful, Uplifting, And Absolutely Intolerable 

1. Tomorrowland is a movie about optimism and hope and brightness and good cheer, which probably explains why it put me in such a foul mood. It’s like that television evangelist who’s so smiley and squeaky-clean that you just know he’s up to something weird when no one’s looking. This movie spends m...

Warriors Beat Rockets As James Harden Can't Get Final Shot Off

James Harden was brilliant all game, putting up a ridiculous 38/10/9 line without a ton of help from his non-Dwight Howard teammates. But on the final play of the game, down 99-98 with seven seconds to attack a scrambling Warriors defense, Harden inexplicably passed the ball to Howard, and when he g...

Let's Take A Look At Andrew McCutchen's Pay Stub

Over on reddit, user Grassiii has posted a photo of Pirates outfielder Andrew McCutchen’s latest pay stub. Grassiii says that a friend found it on a recent tour of the visitor’s clubhouse at Wrigley Field, where the Pirates played the Cubs over the weekend. Let’s have a look (you can click the magni...

Will Smith Ejected For "Foreign Substance" 

Brewers pitcher Will Smith earned an ejection tonight from crew chief Jim Joyce after Braves skipper Fredi Gonzalez raised an objection over the existence of a foreign substance on Smith’s wrist....

Deadspin Up All Night: Have A Staycation

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Be cool....

Madison Bumgarner Is The First Pitcher To Take Clayton Kershaw Deep

Madison Bumgarner’s newspaper wasn’t wet today. The Giants pitcher hit a strong solo home run off Clayton Kershaw in the third inning....