i Page 5414 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Must See The Worst Quarter In NBA History
The time has come for you to bear witness: tonight the Knicks and Magic combined for 15 total points in the second quarter of their “battle” in Orlando. So that this may never be forgotten, we provide you here the entire 12 minutes, set to the proper accompaniment. ...
Mickelson Birdies 16 With Megaputt
How much less enjoyable would it be to watch this clip of Phil Mickelson going to 12-under for the Masters and drawing even closer to tournament leader Jordan Spieth without the presence of CBS’s Verne Lundquist? Without Verne, it’s just a girthy man pumping his fists in the air....
Deadspin Up All Night: Heaven Is Just Like Earth Only Upside Down
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’ll be here forever. ...
Mets Closer Jenrry Mejía Suspended 80 Games For Steroid Use
Jenrry Mejía, who became the Mets closer partway through last season after beginning the year as a starter, has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol:...
Cursin' Tiger Woods Strikes Again
Tiger Woods has actually been playing pretty decently at this year's Masters, but a rotten tee shot on today's par-5 13th left him dropping the old reliable "oh my fucking God" again. We'd say the same thing if, you know, we just hurled a club like that....
And Here's Another Golazo, This Time From Ecuador
If Ecuador has a SportsCenter, this will certainly make its #Top10. El Nacional stiker Miguel Álvarez capped off a huge day for his side’s Serie A match against U. Católica with this scissor-kick off the chested volley. The video’s worth it just for the ¡GOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZOOOOOOOOOOOOO!...
The Angels Remain Unhappy That They Have To Pay Josh Hamilton
The Angels just can’t hide their disappointment about having to continue to pay Josh Hamilton. Last night, before the Angels home opener, owner Arte Moreno told the assembled reporters that there was a relapse clause in Hamilton’s contract, and that the team was debating whether to invoke it. Moren...
Messi Loops In With Finesse For 399th Barcelona Goal
It always seems to follow that when Cristiano Ronaldo scores a golazo, Lionel Messi is there to answer one of his own. That happened today at Sevilla, when Messi dropped a marvelous slow-motion curler past Sergio Rico for his 399th goal in a Barcelona uniform....
Report: St. Louis Stadium Authority Sues To Dodge Public Vote
The quest to make St. Louis the site of America’s next great stadium boondoggle continues unabated. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that the public entity that controls the Rams’ current home, the Edward Jones Dome, has sued the city of St. Louis to prevent a public vote on whether taxpayer mon...
35-Meter Strike No Problem For Anton Sosnin
Your long-range goal of the day comes from the Russian Premier League, where Kuban Krasnodar defender Anton Sosnin took aim from 35 meters out to open the scoring against cross-town rival (we are assuming) Krasnodar. ...
Report: Johnny Manziel Released From Rehab
After over two months spent at an inpatient rehab facility, Johnny Manziel has been released, according to ESPN. Manziel entered the Cleveland-area facility at the end of January, meaning he spent over two months in rehab, presumably (though never officially announced) to address his problems with a...
Grand National Winner Celebrates By Head-Butting Handler In The Balls
The Grand National is Europe’s biggest steeplechase, and its extreme length (more than four miles) means horses can be particularly feisty after nine minutes of being hassled by a jockey. Many Clouds took down the title at 25-1 odds today, and celebrated by head-butting one of his handlers. The gee...
Tim Duncan's Game-Winning Block Shakes Up The Playoff Picture
Even if you are a very good basketball team, the Western Conference is brutal. The Houston Rockets found that out the hard way last night. ...
Thomas Müller Scores Goal From Seemingly Impossible Angle
Despite being ridiculously shorthanded, Bayern Munich is having its way with Frankfurt today with the most impressive effort coming from Thomas Müller, who played what looks like an almost impossible angle for Bayern’s third goal. ...
"Astonishing Astrophysics!" Ronaldo Scores Bouncing Free Kick Goal
Cristiano Ronaldo put Real Madrid up 1-0 on Eibar today with this knuckler of a free kick that left the keeper totally, in Ray Hudson’s words, “bamboozled.” His whole call is, as usual, a gem:...
Aaron Cresswell Puts West Ham Up With Top-Class Free Kick
West Ham's Aaron Cresswell put his side up early on Stoke with this marvelous free kick that left the announcers giddy: ...
11 Things Longer Than Last Night's Sox-Yanks Game But That Felt Shorter
Last night’s offensively-, technologically-, and spermatozoaically-deficient 19-inning Red Sox-Yankees game officially clocked in at 6:49, but in reality the broadcast with festivities, anthems, et cetera lasted around seven hours. For viewers, though, the slogging despair of watching the longest R...
18th-Inning Umpire Nutshots Are The Worst
The machines tried to tell us it was time to go home. We didn't listen. And now Marty Foster's crotch has paid the ultimate price....