i Page 5416 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do Arsenal Even Need Jack Wilshere?
We're pretty staunchly against the year-round transfer gossip circus, since even at the best of times—when the transfer windows are actually open—there are about a thousand reasons never to trust what's being bandied about. But these rumblings about Manchester City sniffing around Arsenal's beloved,...
Fix The New ESPN.com Annoyances With This Greasemonkey Script
One of the biggest complaints about the new ESPN.com layout is that clicking a live score at the top of the homepage no longer takes you to the box score, but instead a live Game Tracker that takes time to load and generally isn’t something anyone actually wants to see. Reader William has remedied t...
A Nice Fruit Beer For Butts Of All Types
Kim Kardashian is on a sightseeing tour of Armenia, her ancestral homeland, a delightful fact that I know because the guy on the radio mentioned it at three o’clock this morning. My wife also knows this information about Kim and Armenia, because she got up to feed the cat shortly after I came into p...
Henrik Stenson Goes Full Bo Jackson, Breaks Club Over His Knee
Henrik Stenson carded a six at Augusta National’s 15th during today’s second round of the Masters, thanks to a series of unfortunate events that included ricocheting a shot off the trunk of a tree. It so infuriated the Swede that he took his rage out on the responsible club....
Kendrick Perkins, With The Classic Nine-Step Move
NBA truthers, this is your moment. Kendrick Perkins’s shuffle is your chance to say “He traveled,” and not be seen as a joyless penis. No one will hate you. Well, they probably still will, but not to the usual degree. ...
ESPN's Jorge Sedano Told An Allen Iverson Club Story That Never Happened
When Chris Copeland was stabbed and Thabo Sefolosha and Pero Antic arrested outside a New York City club at four in the morning the day of a game, there was a rush to question their judgment. You know the old saying: nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. ...
The NBA Players' Union Isn't Happy With The NYPD
We’ll probably never know exactly why NYPD officers felt it necessary to arrest Hawks guard Thabo Sefolosha outside of 1 Oak early Wednesday morning—the cops claim that they arrested Sefolosha after telling him six times to leave the scene of Pacers forward Chris Copeland’s stabbing—but we do know t...
Evan Gattis Is Having A Pretty Rough Go Of It Right Now
On Wednesday, Astros designated hitter Evan Gattis saw 17 pitches and struck out four times. Yesterday, Gattis saw 17 more pitches and struck out four more times. That’s eight straight strikeouts on just 34 pitches, and six of those punch outs featured Gattis going down swinging. ...
No, But Seriously, Dove Soap Is Bad
So yesterday, BuzzFeed's editors, in a super duper blatant breach of the tenets of their Editorial Standards And Ethics Guide, deleted a post in which staff writer Arabelle Sicardi criticized toiletries brand Dove for its sleazy, exploitative advertising. Dove, you see, is owned by Unilever—the m...
A Friendly Word Of Advice To <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Readers: Chill
Hello, fellow A Song of Ice and Fire readers. How are you? Doing well, I hope, though I worry. These should be exciting times, what with the impending premiere of Game of Thrones’ fifth season on HBO this weekend, but I can’t help but sense a little frustration in the air....
How Many Of These MLB Opening Day Starters Can You Name?
A new baseball season is upon us, which means it’s time again to orient ourselves with America’s pastime, a sport so popular that surely every sports fan recognizes its star players by sight. Here are 28 players who were in the starting lineup on Opening Day. How many of them can you name? (Answers ...
Darren Sharper May Be Subject To Penis Monitoring Until He Dies
Convicted rapist Darren Sharper will serve nine years in prison for his crimes, but he won’t return to a regular life after he finishes his sentence. If two New Orleans judges approve the deal instead of issuing a 20-year sentence in Louisiana, Sharper will be treated as a sex offender, and closely ...
Adrian Beltre Gets Helmet Stolen, Scares Teammate Half To Death
Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre hit a solo homer against the A’s yesterday. As usual, his baseball life partner, Elvis Andrus, was there to mess with him when he returned to the dugout. ...
The NHL Playoffs Are Shockingly Canadian
It was a banner night for NHL franchises who moved from Atlanta to the Prairie provinces, with both Calgary and Winnipeg clinching playoff berths—the former at the expense of the reigning Cup champs....
Here Are Two Baseball Players Acting Like Lil' Babies
If there’s one thing you can always count on a baseball player in a high-stress situation to be, it’s a sensitive weenie. Allow me to direct your attention to this moment, from yesterday’s game between the Giants and Padres....
Alex Rodriguez Is One Homer Closer To Costing The Yankees $6 Million
It had really only been 22 at-bats since Alex Rodriguez last homered, but a season-long suspension has a funny way of warping baseball time, and of fogging memories. “I felt like I needed Google Maps to round the bases,” Rodriguez said. “It’s been a long, long time.” ...
<i>The Way of the Dragon </i>Is A Stone-Cold Classic For That One Fight Alone
There used to be this DVD store in the Times Square subway station. Maybe it's still there. Probably not. Why was there ever a DVD store in the Times Square subway station? Some things just make no sense. But one day, maybe seven or eight years ago, I was walking through that hellmouth, and I saw ...
How To Attend A Sporting Event Like A Functional Adult
First, a story of bad fan behavior....
Tom Thibodeau Is Mediocre At Hide-And-Seek
Can you spot Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau in the photo above? Look closely, he has found a hiding spot....