i Page 5459 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Even The Chicago Cubs Are Owning Darren Rovell
You would think that after a career full of attempts at being clever on Twitter backfiring, living BrandBot Darren Rovell would give up the bantering aspect of the platform and stick to reporting on whichever 8,000 calorie food abomination is being introduced in a minor league ballpark near you. B...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Deserve A Grammy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Tag you're it! ...
Teamwork Is Helping To Hide Your Buddy's Dong While He Pees On The Bench
If you ever wanted to know how close the Sevilla players are with each other, this is your answer....
The Cowboys Will Basically Pay Greg Hardy Per Game
Defensive lineman Greg Hardy, whose domestic abuse charges were dismissed in February after his accuser didn't show up to court, signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Cowboys today that can reach up to $13.1 million if all incentives are reached....
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo
Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's...
Today In Tifos
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
March Madness Beer Brackets Are Stupid, So Here's The Winner Of Ours!
Have you guys filled out all your brackets? I'm a bit behind this year. I've taken care of "Vegan Pizza Toppings," "Aunts Who Have Disappointed Me," "Bands I've Never Heard Of," and "Dudes Named Gary," and today I hope to get to "NCAA Men's Basketball," but I doubt I'm going to find time to complete...
The Colts' New Rule Proposal: Touchdown Drives Worth Up To Nine Points
The NFL's Competition Committee plans to discuss proposals for rule changes with team owners at meetings next week, and this year, there's a particularly fun idea submitted by the Colts: If a team scores a touchdown, then successfully goes for two points, it can kick a bonus 50-yard field goal for...
Seth Davis Is Still Promoting His Mom's Hoax Cancer Cures
During BYU-Ole Miss, you might have been perplexed by this tweet from Sports Illustrated writer and CBS Sports analyst Seth Davis, after Cougar guard Chase Fisher did something good....
Bernard Pierce To Cop After DUI: "I'm Getting Cut." And He Is!
Running back Bernard Pierce was released by the Baltimore Ravens today, hours after he was arrested on charges that included driving under the influence of alcohol and speeding. The move probably didn't surprise Pierce who, according to a police statement of probable cause, asked the officer who pul...
A 21st-Century Rip Van Winkle: What Changed In My Decade Behind Bars
When the New World was two centuries newer, Washington Irving set a fable, "Rip Van Winkle," in the oldest parts of New York State, where the original Dutch settlers' culture still lingered. Life was European then—just set in America. But progress stops for no man. The story's hero evades his naggin...
WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....
If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...
How To Bury Your Parents
Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die....
Olivier Giroud Is Good At Everything Except His Job
That right there is the quintessential pose of Olivier Giroud. His head tilted skyward, his face tightened into a pained grimace, his hands slowly making their way upward to his eyes or hair as he attempts to rub away the memory of whatever near-chance he was just unable to put away....
This Guy's Terrible Mashups Of Hozier's "Take Me To Church" Are Great
Have you ever listened to a song and felt it was missing that special something? Maybe you thought the tune was excessively cheery, and needed more melancholy wailing from the likes of Hozier, the dour Irish dude whose droning "Take Me to Church" is, somewhat inexplicably, a huge pop hit....
How Those 3-on-3 Overtime Rules Would Cut Down NHL Shootouts
The NHL general managers are having their annual meetings this week and for the second year in a row they are discussing rule changes to decrease the number of games that are resolved by a shootout. The particular ideas they're tossing around—centered around adopting a 3-on-3 overtime—stand a very g...
Chinese Hoops Player Makes Best Highlight, Worst Mistake Of His Life
Han Dejun is a 7-foot-1 center who plays for the Liaoning Flying Leopards in the Chinese Basketball Association. He's huge. In this video, you can see him dunking on Stephon Marbury, who is both old and relatively small, and then nearly hyping his own face off. ...