i Page 5620 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

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Dani Alves And David Luiz Love Stretching Together Very Awkwardly
Trying to avoid the injury fates of Jozy Altidore, Ángel di María, and so many other fellow competitors, Dani Alves and David Luiz were seen getting very limber yesterday ahead of today's semifinal. Who knew Brazilian stretching routines so resembled ice dancing?...

Fugitive Arrested After Making Dumb Redskins Joke In Newspaper
Here is a tip for anyone that is currently a fugitive: Do not let a newspaper put your picture and full name in print, even if it is in the service of crapping on the Washington Redskins' racist name....

Where Does David Ortiz Really Rank Among The All-Time Home Run Hitters?
David Ortiz hit his 450th home run late last month, moving him to 37th on the career home runs list. There's no doubt Ortiz has had a great career. But his are home runs in an era of home runs—and performance enhancers. He blends into his environment, that is to say. Since home runs were more in...

Alfredo Di Stéfano Could Wallop With The Best Of 'Em
It's unfortunate that it can take a great player's death for us to go back and really appreciate what a talent like Alfredo Di Stéfano brought to the sport. That's especially so in America, where the popular notion of soccer involves Brits inventing the game, Pelé and Brazil mastering it, us continu...

Three Cities That Didn't Drop Out All Named 2022 Olympic Host Finalists
The 2022 Winter Olympics will be held in either Oslo, Norway, Beijing, China, or Almaty, Kazakhstan. Trimming the list of potential host cities to three finalists was easy enough for the IOC, because the other five all decided they don't want the Olympics. (And Oslo is expected to drop out within a ...

Yes, Referees Are Biased Towards Brazil
Today, Brazil will face off against Germany in the World Cup semi-finals, and they'll do it without their superstar Neymar, who was taken down in Brazil's game against Colombia. FIFA has decided that they won't punish Juan Camilo Zúñiga, whose knee-to-the-back tackle fractured Neymar's vertebrae. Bu...

"Dear...Hero": Dan Gilbert's Comic Sans Letter, Edited For 2014 LeBron
LeBron James is back on the free-agent market for the first time since he left his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. Doesn't all that summer's bitterness seem so long ago now? Might James want to try playing with a star guard who has two working legs? He might, right? He hasn't said h...

Why Your World Cup Stadium Sucks: Estádio Mineirão, Belo Horizonte
FIFA would like you to know that Estádio Mineirão in Belo Horizonte is "one of the most historic venues in Brazilian football." Their sister city is Ft. Lauderdale. Trust your instincts....

How ESPN's Body Issue Hides The Naughty Bits
It's time once again for ESPN The Magazine's Body Issue, with which you furiously masturbate to Prince Fielder while telling yourself you're just admiring his athleticism. But they sure don't make it easy, obstructing the various pudenda and (female) nipples. Which is an art and a science in itself....

David Ortiz Is Furious About His Failed PED Test Coming Up Again
For whatever reason, David Ortiz hates it when you bring up that he tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003 (a fact confirmed by the union). The latest target of his ire: MLB Network hosts who declared he has received a "free pass" for his transgression....


Head Of FIFA Corporate Partner Arrested In Ticket-Scalping Sting
It took a few weeks, but we've finally gotten a 2014 World Cup corruption story. Ray Whelan, the chief executive of Match Hospitality, a FIFA corporate partner that sells tickets and hospitality packages for the World Cup, was arrested on Monday as part of a Brazilian investigation into the illega...


Political Blogger Hired By Redskins Resigns After Two Weeks
When it comes to attempts to defend the team name backfiring embarrassingly, Washington remains undefeated. Ben Tribbett, a left-leaning political blogger recently hired to "help the team promote a tradition that means so much to so many people," has announced his intention to resign....

Derek Jeter Tricks Jason Kipnis On Foul Pop; Yankees Turn Double Play
Oh, that Derek Jeter. So wily, even at 40....

Cocky Pigeons Think They Can Just Walk On The Field During Rays Game
A trio of pigeons hung out in the infield of Tropicana Field during tonight's Royals-Rays game. They thought they owned the place, strutting around and bobbing their heads with no regard for the baseball going on....

Here's What Middle-Aged Napoleon Dynamite And Pedro Look Like
Reader Brian sent along his friend's photo, which he claims was taken in Idaho. He believes the men in the photo look like Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro, "40 years in the future." We can see it....

Canada Destroys Kuwait In Under-19 Football, 91-0
Look at this photo of the Kuwait team before their first game in the International Federation of American Football tournament. So full of hope. Canada wrecked them, 91-0. Masakeen....
