i Page 5673 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Struggling Brazilian Soccer Team Hires Weirdo Hypnotist
Walking barefoot on glass. Walking barefoot through hot coals. Bending iron poles with your neck. These are the things Olimar Tesser, Portuguesa's newly-hired team hypnotist, believes are the keys to dragging the Brazilian club out of the relegation zone....

Is The Redskins' "VIP" Indian Defender A Fake Indian?
Mark One Wolf was, for a time, a favored native in Dan Snyder's fight to save the "Redskins" nickname. "Native American backing team name is VIP at practice," read a Richmond Times-Dispatch headline. It was accompanied by an Associated Press photo of One Wolf in profile, as if to echo the team's l...

Police Officer Levels Kid Running At Nick Saban After Ole Miss Win
Immediately after Ole Miss upset Alabama, officers escorted loser Nick Saban off the field to get him back to his lair. One jubilant Rebels fan ran too close to Saban. He was dealt with....

NBA Players Are Coming To Get Their Money Back In 2017
The NBA's bonkers new TV deal means there is going to be more money flowing into the league than ever before, and everyone is already thinking about 2017, when the players or owners can opt out of the current CBA and re-negotiate how all that revenue is going to be divided up. Based on comments from...

The Case Against Flushing At A Urinal
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering poop, sandwiches, rich people, Mitch, and more....

MLB Managers Are Playing Less Small Ball Than Ever
It's well documented we're in an era of dominant pitching, with declines in home runs and batting averages coinciding with the highest strikeout rates in MLB history. But there are also other, less prominent stats gravitating toward record rates that have slipped by most fans. ...

Does David Lynch Suck? A Pointless Discussion.
Showtime is bringing back Twin Peaks soon, much to the delight of your weird uncle and a lot of random folks on Twitter who think it's way cool that David Lynch does weather reports online. ...

Green Flash's Fall Seasonal Beer Is Absurd, Pointless, And Delicious
San Diego's Green Flash Brewing Company kinda goes their own way, which is a funny thing to say about a Southern California brewery built around stuffing hops into every crevice of every beer they produce—the most radical thing a West Coast beer company could do in 2014 is just settle down and mak...

Affordable Kitchen Upgrades, Cheaper Subscribe & Save, and More Deals
If you've never used Amazon Subscribe & Save before, you can get 50% off your first subscription right now. The catch is that you have to be an Amazon Prime member, and you can't have had an "active subscription shipment for 6 months or more." Unfortunately, anyone on a Prime free trial isn't elig...

Adrian Peterson Blames Media For Reporting On Charity-Funded Orgy
Yesterday, the Star Tribune dropped a comprehensively reported bombshell, accusing Adrian Peterson's All Day Foundation of misusing funds intended for charity, and failing to keep proper books or account for much of the money it took in. Last night, Peterson offered a rebuttal:...

Report: NBA Bans Sexy-Ass Songs From German Cheerleaders' Routine
German basketball club Alba Berlin will take on the San Antonio Spurs in an exhibition game Wednesday, but their cheerleaders will be working at half-speed. The NBA apparently nixed three songs from Alba Berlin's squad's routine, on account of the tracks being too sexy, according to German tabloid B...

Angry Alabama Fan Is Back With More Burns For Colin Cowherd
The last time we heard from Phyllis, she was smarting from Alabama's Iron Bowl loss to Auburn, and called into Paul Finebaum's radio show to let off some steam by calling Colin Cowherd mean names, like "Cow-Turd." Alabama lost last weekend, and Cowherd once again drew Phyllis's ire with his comments...

IAAF, IOC: Indian Woman Not Woman Enough To Compete In Track
Approaching the 2014 Commonwealth Games in July, India announced that it had pared the provisional list of its national track and field team from 41 to 32. Six of the athletes cut were from the men's 4-by-100 relay team, which was complete crap; another was a controversial triple jumper. But only af...

Richard Sherman Had His Hair Pulled, Responded With Vicious Shit-Talk
Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman has always walked a fine line between showman and dickbag. After infuriating Pierre Garçon to the point of hair-pulling, and dismissing his football worth entirely, I bet I could guess which side Garçon would come down on....

This Is What The WWE Has Reduced Itself To
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Cardinals Fans Get Ugly In Clash With Ferguson Protesters
This guy right here, the one with "I am Darren Wilson" taped onto the back of his Cardinals jersey—an homage to the Ferguson, Mo., police officer who shot an unarmed teenager named Mike Brown to death in August—was at the Cardinals game last night. He, along with many other Cardinals fans, clashed...

Matt Kemp Blasts Dale Scott's Strike Zone: "The Worst I've Ever Seen"
John Lackey was masterful and the L.A. bullpen couldn't hold the fort in last night's 3-1 Cardinals win, but afterward, all a number of Dodgers could talk about was home plate umpire Dale Scott. Matt Kemp went off:...

Dodgers Pitcher J.P. Howell Turns Amazing Double Play
With the Cardinals looking to stretch their 3–1 lead in the bottom of the 8th inning, Dodgers pitcher J.P. Howell pulled off a remarkable stop to turn the double play and get out of the inning. With the bases loaded Howell somehow managed to snag Kolten Wong's grounder, throw home and get a double...

According To The NFL, NFL Security Is Incompetent
The NFL has given ABC News a detailed account of the league's attempts to obtain information about the night that Ray Rice was arrested for assault, and it portrays NFL security as a stunningly incompetent organization. As told to ABC News by NFL spokesperson Brian McCarthy, the NFL attempted to obt...

Women Hate Watching Sports, Says <em>Men's Health</em> Magazine
If there is only one truth in the world, it is this: women hate watching sports. Baseball? Football? Basketball? Soccer? Nah, all the way around. Seriously, have you ever met a woman that enjoyed watching sports? No. Are you one? Certainly not!...