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Deadspin Up All Night: She's Driving Oh, So Very Fast
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Fans Rush Pitch, Get Selfie With Mario Balotelli
Two fans rushed the pitch in the 90th minute of A.C. Milan's 5-1 friendly loss to Manchester City at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. The Idiots on the Pitch wanted to get a selfie with Mario Balotelli and Mario obliged....

ESPN On Stephen A. Smith Firestorm: Tune In To <i>First Take</i> On Monday
ESPN has issued a response following Stephen A. Smith's rant on/enabling domestic violence from Friday's episode of First Take. Here it is, in full:...

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s Mom Admires Son's Ability To Work With "Shit Car"
This is a touching conversation between mother and son. Dale Jr. came in ninth today at the Brickyard 400 in Indianapolis and his mother saw a little bit of the old man in his performance. ...

Here's Frank Thomas's Emotional HOF Induction Speech
On the other end of the Hall-of-Fame-Speech spectrum, Frank Thomas gave a pretty touching speech today at the Hall of Fame and spent almost the entire time either crying or fighting off the tears. He spoke fondly of his parents and family and got very emotional when speaking about his father (whic...

Greg Maddux Makes Fart Joke During His HOF Induction Speech
Greg Maddux keeps the Greg Maddux Stories rolling with the ol' lighting-your-own farts-on-fire-with-your-brother gag. Never change, you magnificent weirdo....

The Big Hurt
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Hall Of Fame Eligibility Rule Change Bones "Poster Boys" Of Steroid Era
As the Baseball Hall of Fame congratulates itself today, let's talk about how it just boned baseball players. Yesterday, it was announced that the eligibility rules had been altered from 15 years, to 10. So, once he becomes eligible, a player has 10 chances to have the magical 75 percent of precious...

There's A Tiny Grammatical Error On Greg Maddux's HOF Plaque
The offending passage is "...3,000 strikeouts and less than 1,000 walks." Grammar wonks will tell you that "less" should be used with things that are uncountable, like volume. "There is less space in my apartment" is a correct usage. "Fewer" should be used with things that are countable. For example...

Miralem Pjanic Scores 65-Yard Goal A Day After Hitting 50-Yard FG
AS Roma's Miralem Pjanic had a pretty solid couple of days in Denver. On Saturday, he scored the absurd goal you see above in a friendly against Manchester United at Sports Authority Field. United kept a clean sheet until the 75th minute, when Pjanic boomed a ball from behind midfield as goalkeepe...

Lady In "I Love Big Sacks" Shirt Gets Picture With Will Muschamp
The whole shirt actually reads "I Love Big Sacks And A Gator D" and Muschamp is just smiling like the nicest guy in the world while the woman is pretty straight-faced. There are a few explanations, which we've narrowed down to (a) he didn't read the shirt and is just naturally charming and amiable, ...

Dodgers And Diamondbacks AAA Teams In Sprawling, Benches-Clearing Brawl
Tempers flared in the second inning with the first pitch of the at bat between Reno Aces (AZ) pitcher Mike Bolsinger and Albuquerque Isotopes (LA) shortstop Erisbel Arruebarrena. Bolsinger threw up and in and Arruebarrena had to duck out of the way, as the pitch hit his bat for a foul ball. Arrueb...

Greg Maddux Had A Running Gag Where He Insulted A Reporter's Mother
Since he was voted into the Hall of Fame, there's been a bit of a cottage industry of Weirdo Greg Maddux stories and, flood the market, we say; the more Maddux stories the better. Yahoo's Tim Brown has a nice profile of Maddux that you should check out, but we'd like to point out the part where Madd...

Tony La Russa Says Let The Cheats Into Cooperstown (Now That He's There)
Tony La Russa is one of six men who will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame today. Now that he's got his ticket punched, he thinks all the heavy hitters from the steroid era should be let in—but with an asterisk. ...

Golovkin Demolishes Geale
Tonight's Gennady Golovkin-Daniel Geale bout on HBO was nasty, brutish, and short. It wasn't as short as it should have been, though, because a (drunk?) timekeeper allowed the opening round to go for four minutes....

Roger Angell: A Baseball Companion
On Saturday in Cooperstown, Roger Angell was given the J. G. Taylor Spink Award, the baseball Hall of Fame's writing writing honor. His sports writing career is a happy accident that began in 1962 when Angell went to spring training to write about New York's new team, the Mets. He was a 41-year-old...

Jim Irsay Handing Out $100 Bills At Colts Training Camp
Jim Irsay is a wealthy man. He's got the kind of wealth where one drives stoned out of one's face with a briefcase full of $29,000 in cash—a totally normal amount for him to be carrying—and pills and escapes with only two misdemeanor charges. He also has the kind of wealth where one passes out $100...

Stephen A. Smith Leaving ESPN Radio For SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio
In an interestingly-timed move, the New York Daily News is reporting that Stephen A. Smith will be leaving his ESPN Radio gig in New York and head to the uncensored airwaves of SiriusXM. And, also interestingly, he will be joining Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's stable of hosts on Mad Dog Radio. ...

The Rockies Misspelled Troy Tulowitzki's Name On Jersey Giveaway Night
It's Free Troy Tulowizki Shirt Day at Coors Field, guys! Somehow, some way, the Colorado Rockies had themselves a Troy Tulowitzki Jersey Day and misspelled the man's goddamned name. The only thing they had to do was slap his name on a shirt and they fucked it up. Come on, Rockies. ...

John Rocker In Cooperstown, Raffles Night Of Drinking With John Rocker
John Rocker, former Atlanta Braves pitcher and anthropomorphic T-Bone steak, is in Cooperstown this weekend and he's got himself a table set up where he's hawking wares like a white T-shirt with "Speak English" written in "you know, that lettering from the Dropkick Murphys," and maybe a book that ...