i Page 5863 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jaroslav Halak Doesn't Want To Face His Old Team
Tonight's Caps-Blues game sees a matchup between the West's best team and a club that's all but eliminated from playoff contention, one notable only for Washington goalie Jaroslav Halak's first chance to face his former team since being moved at the trade deadline. Except—Halak apparently wants no p...

Kentucky Fan Living In Louisville Dorm Is Expertly Shamed By Neighbors
This, from Reddit's college basketball subreddit, is a shining example of how college dorm residents should deal with neighbors who are fans of a rival team. Louisville may have been bounced from the tournament by Kentucky this year, but this coordinated act of shaming just about makes up for that. ...

The Last Play Kentucky Ran Was Everywhere This Tournament
Kentucky didn't really have a great shot at winning, down six with 20 seconds to go, but the play it ran to get a late look was one we've seen over and over this year. ...

What EMA's "Meta-Grunge" Teaches Us About Fame, The NSA, And Courtney Love
Last month, Courtney Love announced on Facebook that she'd possibly located Malaysian Airlines flight MH370. She had not. But my god, that would've been glorious. Oil right where she'd scrawled, "Oil"; the plane right where she'd scrawled, "Plane?" One of the great and terrible mysteries of our youn...

Yasiel Puig Isn't Perfect, But He's Everything Great About Baseball
The first time ever I saw Yasiel Puig was last year in Glendale, Ariz., at a no-account game between the Chicago White Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers that, for reasons no one was clear on, drew 13,721 spectators, the largest crowd in Cactus League history. ...

Your Stadium Timeout Diversions, Ranked
I'm on vacation next week, which means the Funbag will be commandeered by a MYSTERY HOST. Who will be the mystery host? Will it be someone famous? Someone unexpected? Or someone you've seen around here before and his (or her!) revelation will probably be a bit of a letdown for you? I think the ...

Pitbull And J. Lo Team Up For The Official 2014 World Cup Anthem
Here it is, the song that you are going to be so damn sick and tired of hearing by the time the 2014 World Cup is over. Wrap your ears around Pitbull and J. Lo's "We Are One (Ole Ola)."...

Darren Rovell Narcs Out Guy Who Made Fun Of Him On Twitter
It starts with PFTCommenter doing his PFTCommenter thing:...

2014 Name Of The Year: The Final Four
We're nearing the summit of this year's tourney, and the venerable spirits of Assumption Bulltron, Godfrey Sithole, Crescent Dragonwagon, and Doby Chrotchtangle have each found favor with a champion. These four, this exalted 16th of the starting field, are all that remain as our competition enters i...

ESPN's Website To Celebrate Hank Aaron With Night Of Cosplay
Forty years ago today, Hank Aaron hit the 715th home run of his career, surpassing Babe Ruth's mark of 714 and setting the all-time career home run record. Even with Barry Bonds having long since surpassed the record, this is one of the great moments in American sports history, more than worth marki...

Israeli Basketball Is Kind Of Insane
This is what happened at the close of last night's chapter of Israel's biggest rivalry, Maccabi Tel Aviv and Hapoel Tel Aviv. After a close away win for Maccabi, center Sofoklis Schortsanitis—a former Clippers draft pick—charged into a hostile crowd to try to beat up a Hapoel fan. You can see the fa...

Map: Atlanta Has Too Many Waffle Houses
In the mood for extraordinarily cheap, generally tasty breakfast food? The map above—by mapsbynik—shows the density of Waffle Houses across the U.S. circa 2012, with the height of each bar representing the number of locations in each USGS 30x60 quadrangle.* ...

Hey Look, It's Kevin Ollie Going Super Saiyan
UConn won the NCAA men's basketball tournament last night, and coach Kevin Ollie made a cool face. Here's what it would have looked like if he was going Super Saiyan 3 instead. ...

Ronaldo Looks About The Same As A Shoe
Jesus Christ. A human being has never been distilled into a sports shoe more accurately than this. Including selling out in about 90 seconds. ...

Oscar Pistorius Tells His Side Of The Story
Oscar Pistorius continued his testimony in his murder trial today, describing his version of the events that ended with him shooting and killing his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, on Feb. 14 of last year. ...

All Hail The Bitchiest Of Bitchy Fanboys
All precincts have now reported and we can, at long last, crown a champion in our Bitchy Bracket tournament. Despite a strong tourney run, the anti-vaccination wingnuts fell yesterday to the overwhelming defensiveness of conservative Christians. Please note that I included many liberal factions in...

Here's A Baseball Field That Looks Like It Has A Big Penis On It
It's been a while since we've brought you some vintage unintentional dong, so please enjoy this picture of a very dong-y baseball diamond....

Here's Why You Should Be Excited About Billy Hamilton
Reds center fielder Billy Hamilton only played in 13 games with the big club after making his major-league debut in September last year, so you might not be very familiar with what kind of player he is. But Hamilton's a full-time starter this year, and last night he made a play that let us all know ...

Yankee Fans Are A Bit Rusty, Too
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

UK Fan With "National Champions" Tattoo Taking It As You'd Expect
Sometimes, as with Seahawks Guy, an optimistic tattoo turns out to be prophetic. Other times (most times?) it turns out like it did for Kentucky fan Tyler Black, who went and got this "2014 Nati9nal Champions" tattoo before the tournament. After UConn defeated UK last night, let's check back in with...