i Page 7009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Man Falls In Lobby Pool At Winter Meetings, Makes Bigger Splash Than Yankees
Rolling MLB Network cameras caught one distracted visitor taking a spill into the reflecting pool at the Hilton Anatole in Dallas, where baseball's winter meeting are being held. It's all fun and games until somebody gets sued. [MLB.com, via SBN]...

Kris Humphries's Worst Year Ever Culminates In "KRIS IS GAY!" Tabloid Cover
As the year-end lists filter in this month, remember this: Not many people have had a more humiliating year than NBA free agent Kris Humphries. A year ago, Humphries was known as a mediocre pro basketball player who came off a mediocre bench for the mediocre New Jersey Nets. Now, after a 72-day marr...

The Great NFL Migration Is About To Begin
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Everything That's Wrong With <em>Monday Night Football</em>, In One <em>New Yorker</em> Paragraph
There's a long profile of Jon Gruden in this week's New Yorker, which, frankly, is a little like opening up Guns & Ammo and finding a profile of Noam Chomsky, but there it is nonetheless, a zillion finely wrought words about this guy. Two passages are worth noting....

Cuba, Grenada, El Salvador May Have Thrown Games In The 2011 Gold Cup
FIFA's head of security told SI.com that several games at the 2011 Gold Cup might have been fixed, confirming what a betting-industry insider also told SI: "The games involving Grenada (which lost three matches by a combined 15-1) and Cuba (which was outscored 16-1), the insider said, stood out: "It...

"Honey Badger Does Care": LSU Is Cracking Down On The Proliferation Of Tyrann Mathieu T-Shirts
The school's compliance office has issued cease and desist notifications—with a great headline, by the way—to the makers of several really cool T-shirts, even though the shirts don't mention LSU or Tyrann Mathieu by name. The reason?...

How Much Goddamn Bail Money Does Jerry Sandusky Have?
When Jerry Sandusky was first arrested, a judge with Second Mile connections set Sandusky's bail at $100,000. No problem. Sandusky dropped some coin and walked out of the clink.* Yesterday, he was re-arrested after two additional alleged victims came forward and added their horrifying stories to the...

The Feel-Good Scam Of Owning The Packers
For just the fifth time in their 92-year history, the publicly owned Green Bay Packers launched a stock offering this week, issuing at least 250,000 shares to anyone who wants to count themselves as an owner of an NFL team. It's an irresistible offer for a devoted fan, and within 11 minutes of stock...

Meet The Sleazeball Agent Who Got Albert Pujols $250 Million
This morning, the Angels broke the bank for Albert Pujols, giving him $250 million over 10 years. With a standard agent's cut, Dan Lozano is in line for at least $10 million of that. We recently looked into Lozano's checkered history of lies, prostitutes, and shady business dealings. Wonder how he'l...

ShortCenter: The Winter Meetings Get Their Own Theme Music, With Glockenspiel
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Just In Time For Army-Navy: An Army Assistant Coach Is Accused Of Being A Deadbeat Dad
A woman claims Black Knights defensive tackles coach Clarence Holmes, who is married to someone else, is the father of her 22-month-old son. She says Holmes has provided little in the way of child support and has not added the boy to his health insurance, leaving her stuck without a way to pay for ...

Shane Battier Announces He's Joining The Heat Via Jimmy Buffett Quote
If you were looking for a fresh reason to hate on the Miami Heat this year, Shane Battier's come through for you. The Grizzlies forward announced on Twitter this morning that he's joining the Heat. Somehow, a Jimmy Buffett reference made it into the mix. That alone almost makes this more damning tha...

Report: Albert Pujols To Sign With The Angels
Tim Brown of Yahoo appears to have had it first, as you can see above, but Buster Olney's sources are telling him the same thing. Bob Nightengale of USA Today says it's for 10 years and $250 million. Somebody check on Leitch to make sure he's OK. [Yahoo]...

Drew Brees Loves Dome, ESPN Informs
Your morning roundup for Dec. 8, the day we learned Ryan Seacrest is a hot commodity. Photo via Thomas W. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Up All Night: Speak When Spoken To
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Get your release and lessen your load....

Every "Tebow" Uttered On ESPN's "TebowCenter" Today
In what was either a rare act of self-awareness or a complete lack thereof on behalf of the Worldwide Leader, ESPN dedicated an entire hour of SportsCenter today to Tim Tebow, managing to mention the Denver quarterback's name no fewer than 88 times in the process—all of which were painstakingly ed...

Ken Rosenthal Throws Himself Against The Wall
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day. Photo via @joecapMARLINS. This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Ricky Rubio Can't Believe How Much Basketball These Crazy Americans Play
Ricky's finally set to play NBA ball, but there's a learning curve here in Amurrica: "Yesterday I was looking at the schedule and putting in my iPad, and I was saying 16, 17, 18," he joked with reporters today. "I mean, three games in a row? What the hell?" Also news for Rubio: It snows in Minnesota...

Sidney Crosby Has To Miss Two Games Because Of This Hit
He's been back for just eight games since he ended his 10-month absence because of a concussion, but Sidney Crosby won't play tomorrow in Philly or Saturday at the Islanders, the Penguins have announced....

Former Dolphin Says Nick Saban Calmly Stepped Over Convulsing Teammate In '05
We'll make this one brief, because if it is true, than it is stale by about six years—but we do jump at any opportunity to point out instances in which Nick Saban might have behaved like a dick, and this anecdote certainly qualifies....