i Page 7066 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh, No. No, No, No. (Man Gets A Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo)
Man, Chris Brown, you are a brave, stupid man. Not only did you get a Texans logo tattooed on your arm, framed by the words "Super Bowl" XVLI Champion. But you shaded the area behind the roman numerals so you won't be able to fix it in the future. Why would you do this, Chris?...
Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....
John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...
<i>Of Course</i> Rex Grossman Is Mickey Rourke's Favorite Quarterback
When the world's ballsiest train wreck calls you "a train wreck with balls," you know you're doing something right, Rex. [Nerd Tears]...
How Contempt For Tim Tebow Caused An ESPN.com Commenter Revolution
The ESPN.com comment section is a den of iniquity and misspelling, and for the world's largest sports site, it's curiously inessential. The open registration means the discourse tends toward lowest common denominator, and it's too big to engender much sense of community. But once in a long while the...
BREAKING: ESPN's Jenn Brown Is Locked Inside A Hotel Bathroom And Is Live-Tweeting About It (UPDATED)
It's been more than 30 minutes since she called for help. We'll keep you posted. [@JennBrownESPN]...
Erin Andrews Struggles With Math Concepts
Erin Andrews made a trip to Baton Rouge and toured LSU's football facilities as part of ESPN's "SEC All-Access" series. As you might expect, it's not exactly hard-hitting. In the above clip, we're treated to an especially vapid discussion of how much coffee LSU head coach Les Miles consumes in a d...
There Is No D In Toledo: Here's All 123 Points From Last Night's MAC Matchup In 123 Seconds
The MAC nursed a Halloween hangover and showed up to work dressed in a defense-phobic WAC costume as Northern Illinois beat Toledo last night 63-60, the highest-scoring regulation game in conference history. It was a score more familiar to NBA fans, watching because there were no NBA games on the ...
Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Watch Three Young Men Throw Punches In A Heated Battle For Sexy-Nurse Girl's Love
In this installment of random fights across America, three shirtless bros wield fists in an effort to win the affections of a near-shirtless "sexy nurse girl" at a Halloween party in Isla Vista, Cal. Granted, there's nothing to indicate that girl was wearing anything resembling a nurse's uni. But ...
In Morocco, They Mix Club Music With Soccer Highlights, And That Makes It More Fun
"A 95th minute amazing strike from Chamseddine Chtaibi gave Maghreb Fez a deserved 1-0 victory against Interclube from Angola, on Sunday, to reach the final of the CAF Confederation Cup. The Moroccan side reached their first ever major continental final on the away goal rule as they were defeated ...
Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Back-to-back wins over undefeated 1A 6 Man 1 Region III District 9 (6 Man) teams were not meant to be for the mighty Knox City Greyhounds who suffered a 72-50 loss to the mightier Throckmorton Greyhounds. This, after Chad emerged from the tunnel at a pep rally to Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lad...
Today In Fatal, Taser-Involved Gold's Gym Rampage News
Normally, this would just be a paragraph from a news article, complete with a link to the media outlet from which it was quoted. But the Tale of Chad Brothers of Troy is so amazingly amazing that that just won't cut it. That photo came from his Facebook page which he apparently opened, oh, a day ea...
Nebraska Volleyball Player/Coach's Daughter With Suspended License Hits Two Motorcyclists, Takes Off
Per the Omaha World-Herald, a witness reported that University of Nebraska Husker volleyball star "Lauren Cook's expression left no doubt she knew she had struck two people on a motorcycle in north Lincoln before fleeing the scene."...
This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Paul is a grad student down at Rice. He noticed this picture on the front page of the student newspaper, the Thresher....
Toledo Frat Boy Surprisingly Consumed With Informing You About His Penis
There's been plenty of scoring in the first quarter of MACtion between NIU and Toledo—the Huskies lead 21-14 early, helped by two Tommylee Lewis kickoff return TDs— but this Toledo fratter's looking for some scoring of his own, from the looks of his sign and the very subtle crotch-grab with which ...
Rex Ryan Honors Joe Namath By Wearing His Jersey; Joe Namath Responds By Calling Rex Ryan A Fat Mess
For some reason, seemingly everything Broadway Joe says about the current Jets makes news in New York, where The Guarantee is something of a Sermon on the Mount for aging sportswriters. Namath has been especially critical this season of Rex Ryan, questioning the Jets' preparation on one occasion an...
(NSFW) Remembering Humphries-Kardashian: A Video Tribute To An American Romance
We did this after Kim split with Reggie Bush, so it's the least we could do for sad-sack power forward Kris Humphries, who seems hellbent for humiliation by the Kardashian media machine until he signs the damn divorce papers. I mean, seriously: when Mr. and Mrs.Humphries show up on TMZ to beg Kim ...
This Evening: Instead Of The Start Of The NBA Season, There's Chris Paul On <em>Family Feud</em>
Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 1, the day we HOLY SHIT STILETTO IMPLANTS. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
UNC And Michigan State Will Wear Ugly Camo Uniforms In Game On Aircraft Carrier
Now is as good of a time as any to remind the world that in just a week and a half, two premier college basketball programs will be playing an actual game that will actually count on a giant aircraft carrier on the water in San Diego. And they'll be doing so, it turns out, in camouflage jerseys that...