ick Page 363 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mavericks Decide "Little Cows" Is No Longer A Good Chinese Translation Of Their Name, Switch To "Lone Ranger Heroes"
A maverick is, literally, a little cow. An unbranded calf, so named for nineteenth-century Texas cattle farmer Samuel Maverick, who did not brand his cattle. For nearly two decades now, the Dallas Mavericks have been known in China by a translation that works out roughly to “little cows.” Accurate! ...
Bill Belichick Still Does Not Care About Snow, Basic Decency
There’s a 100 percent chance of snow in Foxboro tomorrow, with a foot or more expected. Blizzard conditions are possible, and Gov. Charlie Baker has asked everyone to stay off the roads as many schools and businesses have announced their closures in advance. And Bill Belichick, as always, expects al...
Nick Saban Found Something To Grump About
Two days after his team won its College Football Playoff semifinal and advanced to the national title game for the third straight year, Alabama head coach Nick Saban groused that there was only one week between semifinals and the championship. This has more or less been the case since the College Fo...
Patrick Ewing Gets Brutally Honest With A Georgetown Player
Georgetown forward Marcus Derrickson might have thought he had less time on the shot clock than he actually had in Tuesday’s game against DePaul, because his sloppy Dirk Nowitzki tribute sadly clanked off the front of the rim. Head coach Patrick Ewing carefully tore into Derrickson during a timeout....
Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week: Kirk Cousins Is Cold And Wants To Go Home
Welcome to Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the worst quarterback play the NFL has to offer....
Polish Skier Finishes Downhill Race On A Single Ski
Pawel Babicki finished 67th out of 67 competitors at a downhill race last week in Bormio, Italy. He trailed eventual winner Dominik Paris by 36 seconds, which is all the more impressive considering that Babicki lost his left ski before the halfway point of the famous Stelvio downhill run....
Alabama Beats Clemson, Sets Up All-SEC Championship Game
Alabama manhandled top seed Clemson 24-6 in a downer of a Sugar Bowl unworthy of being the headliner to the double-OT Rose Bowl opening act, and now you’re all going to enjoy a week of gripes about the SEC and the Tide vs. Georgia national championship matchup. Our response to those complaints is th...
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
If Christmas is all about putting stuff up butts, New Year’s Day is the day to read about the many methods of absolute destruction of America’s dick and balls, and to be thankful it wasn’t you. Unless it was....
The NFL’s New Concussion Protocol Worked This Weekend<em></em>
On the same weekend word leaked that the NFL had made numerous changes to its concussion protocol, the league appeared to be extra vigilant in making sure that protocol was being followed. But will the NFL and the NFLPA continue to insist on enforcing those procedures? That remains an open question,...
Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week: Brett Hundley Brought Bagels
Welcome to Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the worst quarterback play the NFL has to offer....
Cam Newton Got Hit In The Nuts
Cam Newton had to leave today’s game against the Buccaneers, because he took a shot to the nuts. Sucks for him....
Tom Brady Gets Snappy When Asked About His Sketchy Guru's Rift With Bill Belichick
The Boston Globe recently revealed that Tom Brady’s extremely sketchy personal fitness guru Alex Guerrero was banned from the Patriots’ planes and sidelines. Guerrero, a modern snake oil salesman, seems to have irritated head coach Bill Belichick, which has naturally led to speculation about how Br...
Ravens President Blames Empty Seats On Anthem Protests
According to ESPN, Baltimore Ravens president Dick Cass sent a letter to season ticket holders this week, in which he blamed a dip in attendance at least in part on the fact that Ravens players knelt during the national anthem before a game in London....
Reports: Legendary Broadcaster Dick Enberg Dead At 82
Broadcaster Dick Enberg died today at the age of 82 from a heart attack, according to the San Diego Union-Tribune and Associated Press....
Michael Beasley Had A Dang Night
A game in which Kristaps Porzingis went 0-for-11 from the field and no starter scored more than 14 points sounds like it should’ve been a surefire loss for the Knicks. But even though that’s exactly what happened against the Celtics tonight, this one was a win—thanks to Michael Beasley, pretty much ...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Poor Bloke's Escalator Odyssey From Hell
Rarely does any scenario become worse after your dick and balls get smashed to hell. But our friend here, wearing what appears to be a Bristol City or maybe an England kit, was only beginning to get acquainted with true pain when he went airborne....
Report: Carmelo Anthony Used To Snooze Through Phil Jackson's Mindfulness Routines
Over at ESPN, Ian Begley has chronicled the festering relationship between former Knicks boss and unbearable weed pedant Phil Jackson and former Knicks star Carmelo Anthony. It’s a long string of satisfying anecdotes but my favorite one captures the purest essence of both characters:...
Here is Kristaps Porzingis's Spherical, Slightly Worrisome Personal Trainer
From the Daily News today comes a profile of Kristaps Porzingis’s flavorful “personal physician and trainer” Dr. Carlon Colker, who has no affiliation with the Knicks....
Report: Tom Brady's Quack Doctor Banned From Patriots' Planes And Sidelines
Alex Guerrero has maintained a strange relationship with the Patriots since 2013. He operates the TB12 therapy center next to the Patriots stadium, where he treats players, and his relationship with Brady affords him access to Patriots sidelines and the team plane. However, a day after rumors surfac...
Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week: Andy Dalton Plays Football
Welcome to Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the worst quarterback play the NFL has to offer....