ick Page 365 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Extremely Cardinals Report: Mike Matheny Respects Bud Norris For Being A Relentless Dick To Teammate Jordan Hicks
The St. Louis Cardinals are plainly, self-evidently enduring a period of persistent, chronic dunderheadedness. Nothing makes that more plain than the fact that they’re publicly feuding with one of their own players, but that’s not been the only sign: Tommy Pham, who broke out last season with the Ca...
A Soccer Oaf's List Of The Best Soccer Things
Because it’s the most popular sport in the world and because the entire world is currently losing its collective shit about it, there is something forbidding about approaching soccer from the outside. There are many millions of people around the world who are so passionate about club teams that they...
Cheatin' Phil Mickelson Becomes Self-Reporting Phil Mickelson After Stomping On A Tuft Of Grass
Noted cheater Phil Mickelson played out the final round of the clumsily named A Military Tribute at Greenbriar Sunday, well out of contention from start to finish. Perhaps it was the low-stakes atmosphere of this formality of a round that led Phil to earn back some brownie points on the par-4 sevent...
Cursed Sentence: DeAndre Jordan Has Reached A Verbal Agreement To Sign With The Dallas Mavericks
Uh oh. DeAndre Jordan has reached “a verbal agreement” to sign with the Dallas Mavericks in free agency. That is a cursed sentence. We have entered “fool me twice” territory, here....
James Dolan Lays Groundwork For Sale Of Knicks And Rangers; MSG Stock Surges
It’s been a trying week, so let me treat you to something nice. Watch the stock price for The Madison Square Garden Company do a little jig over the last two days:...
The American Who Briefly Got Ireland To Love Basketball Is Looking For A Storybook Ending
On Thursday, the national basketball team of Ireland beat Andorra, 63-56, to stay alive in FIBA’s European Championship for Small Countries, held all week in Serravalle, San Marino....
Everything You Need To Know About Penalty Shootouts, Including, Just Maybe, How To Win
Let’s start in the nightmare parallel universe in which the rules of the NBA dictate that, after J.R. Smith outmuscles Kevin Durant for the rebound and dribbles out the clock in a tie game, the starting fives for the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors each shoot a single free throw, tally...
Report: Hanley Ramirez Is Not Connected To Fentanyl Trafficking Ring; Some Asshole Just Tried To Name-Drop Him<em></em>
After reports on Friday stated that former Red Sox infielder and current free agent Hanley Ramirez was “being eyed in connection with an ongoing federal and state investigation” that involved distribution of the opioid fentanyl, a new report from the Boston Globe says that Ramirez is not being linke...
Nick Kyrgios Got Fined €15,000 For Pretending To Jerk Off With A Water Bottle
Tennis bad boy Nick Kyrgios got caught pleasuring (then drinking?) his water bottle on the sideline during his straight-set loss to Marin Cilic at the Queen’s Club Championships in London on Saturday. The mimed masturbation was a playful little gesture, fairly subtle but also in clear full view of a...
Nick. Buddy.
C’mon, man. You can’t, just... drink it, after....
Report: Cops Looking Into Hanley Ramirez's Possible Connection To Fentanyl Trafficking Ring
ABC investigative journalist Michele McPhee says authorities are looking into Hanley Ramirez’s possible relationship to a large fentanyl distribution case in Massachusetts....
Nick Kyrgios Has Made Grass His Playground
Caring about Nick Kyrgios is a generally unpredictable and unhappy ride with occasional moments of vindication. So do not let the following get your expectations up, but ... it’s been a little while since he’s looked this good on the grass coming into Wimbledon....
Nick Kyrgios Goes Through The Legs, Up And Over
Overuse the tweener and it loses its luster. Theoretically, anyway: this is not a problem any normal professional player has ever struggled with to date. But no professional tennis player has opted for the shot as often as Nick Kyrgios, who persistently and gratuitously shoehorns it into points and ...
Nick Young Was Just Joshing When He Said Everybody Should Do Cocaine
As a shoot-first, think-second gunner off the Warriors’ bench, Nick Young is already the closest thing the NBA has to a human line of cocaine. But when Swaggy P calls for the legalization of coke on a TMZ camera while leaving the club on a Tuesday night, he wants y’all to know he’s just kidding....
Let’s Remember Some Guys: Pro Wrestling Edition
My uncle introduced me to pro wrestling. I think I was seven. He clued me in on the gag right away: Guys pretended to fight, and it was hilarious....
The Giants Stuck Up For Red-Assed Numbskull Hunter Strickland And Put Buster Posey At Risk
Even if you are the type of team that operates under a strict adherence to baseball’s dopey unwritten rules, there are times when exceptions should be made. For example, when it comes time to defend the honor of a known dolt like Hunter Strickland, who started a useless beef with a rookie Marlin who...
World-Class Doofus Hunter Strickland Out For Two Months After Punching A Wall<em></em>
Giants reliever Hunter Strickland was very definitively Not Mad while exiting the eventual San Francisco loss last night. On his walk back to the dugout after blowing his team’s lead, Strickland exchanged words with Giant-killing Marlins outfielder Lewis Brinson after Brinson both tagged Strickland...
The Beef Between Lewis Brinson And Hunter Strickland Is Currently Medium Well
Hunter Strickland has long been established as the biggest baby, as he once threw a retaliatory pitch for a nearly 3-year-old dinger. It doesn’t take much to get under the Giants closer’s skin, besides exposing him as kind of a mortal pitcher in front of large crowds....
Turkey Indicts Enes Kanter's Father For "Membership In A Terror Group"
Mehmet Kanter, the father of New York Knicks center Enes Kanter, has been indicted in a Turkish court for charges of “membership in a terror group,” according to Turkish media reports. The indictment says that Mehmet was allegedly contacted by 127 suspects with ties to Fethullah Gülen, an imam who’s...