ick Page 373 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Allegedly Enormous-Donged Eagles QB Leads Team To Super Bowl Victory
The Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl champions after defeating the New England Patriots 41-33 Sunday, and they couldn’t have done it without the stellar performance from backup quarterback Nick Foles and his reportedly gigantic hog....

Nick Foles's Trick-Play Touchdown Catch, As Called By A Dozen Announcers Worldwide
The bulk of Deadspin’s staff declared the Eagles’ fourth-down, trick-play pass to quarterback Nick Foles their favorite moment of last night’s Super Bowl. Here, then, is how a dozen broadcasters called the play—ranging from Kevin Harlan on Westwood One radio to Gerard Whateley on Australian radio to...

HEY, PATRIOTS! FUCK YOU IN THE FACE!<em></em>
There is never a guarantee you’ll get a Patriots Schadenfreude Day. There are years when they win a Super Bowl and you just gotta sit there with gritted teeth while Brian O’Brian from Dickchester hoots and hollers and flashes imaginary rings and celebrates yet another Pats Super Bowl win by blinding...

Where The Hell Was Malcolm Butler?
Malcolm Butler, the hero of Super Bowl 49 and starting cornerback for the Patriots all season, wasn’t on the field for any defensive snaps as New England lost 41-33 to the Eagles in Super Bowl 52. If you have an answer for why: Please get in touch, Bill Belichick....

Holy Crap, The Eagles Won The Super Bowl
Underdogs in every playoff game they played, the Philadelphia Eagles just won the fucking Super Bowl. Their first ever. I still can’t really believe it. Neither can Tom Brady up there....

What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
Time is a social construct cooked up by humankind to impose some modicum of order onto an otherwise chaotic existence. But with that said, Super Bowl 52 will kick off this weekend. At some point. Who will win “the big game”? That’s not for me to say. What time does it start? Now there’s a good quest...

Arsenal Are Having A Shockingly Great Transfer Deadline Day
Well, well, would you look at that. Ol’ Arsène had an ace up his sleeve after all, and Arsenal have locked in two players on this transfer deadline day who will give Gooners everywhere something to cheer for once and, even more importantly, some much needed hope....

Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...

Reading Product Plugs From Joshua Tree Helped Me Understand My Industry's Twisted Heart<em></em>
In November, Uproxx editorial director of music Caitlin White published “Breaking Up In Joshua Tree Helped Me Understand My Own Twisted Heart,” originally under the third-person headline “A Writer Finds Loss And Rebirth In A Road Trip To Joshua Tree.” The post was a true original, alternating intens...

Enes Kanter's Fucked-Up Lip
Enes Kanter fucked up his lip and this is what it looks like....

Report: Joakim Noah Fought With His Coach And Now The Knicks Want Him Gone
This bomb from Shams Charania was basically just a matter of turning subtext into text:...

Jared Dudley Brutally Fat-Shamed By Enes Kanter
Hey, remember Jared Dudley? The doughy swingman who makes the analytics crowd swoon with his sparkling net rating history? Unbelievably, the 32-year-old Dudley is still kicking around the NBA, as a seldom-used bench gnome for the doomed and hopeless and endlessly depressing Phoenix Suns, the Western...

Here Are All The Times Enormous Person Kristaps Porzingis Got His Jumper Blocked
Here’s a stat I’ve been thinking about ever since Chris Herring reported it over at FiveThirtyEight:...

Richie Incognito And Yannick Ngakoue Are All Good Now, According To Richie Incognito
Jaguars defensive end Yannick Ngakoue said Bills offensive lineman Richie Incognito used racist slurs towards him in the two teams’ playoff game, but the two players have settled their differences—according to the guy who supposedly said the racist slurs....

The New XFL Sounds Nothing Like The Old One
The XFL returned today with a rap. Really....

How Nick Foles Did It
Nick Foles wasn’t supposed to be able to do this....

Larry Nassar Sentenced To 40 To 175 Years In Prison
Larry Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison today by Judge Rosemarie Aquilina for 10 counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct. The sentence came down following the seventh day of victim impact statements in the Ingham County, Mich., courtroom, after 156 women spoke in open court ab...

Was That A Goaltend? Let's Check In With Jeff Hornacek
Before his fourth ejection of the season, Kevin Durant notched a nice block in the Warriors’ 123-111 win over the Knicks. Or did he? Courtney Lee’s floater sure seemed to be on the way down. After Steph drilled a three in transition, coach Jeff Hornacek offered his nuanced take on the ball’s traject...

Kevin Durant Says He Got Ejected Because Ref Had An "Attitude" And Was "In His Feelings"
The NBA continues to be cranky as hell. Last night Kevin Durant got ejected again, for the fourth time this season, late in the Warriors’ 123-112 win over the Knicks. Then in his post-match presser, he called out referee James Williams by name for targeting him....