ick Page 595 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Photo Of Dirk Nowitzki Astride Mark Cuban, Both Men Enjoying Themselves Immensely
This photo was taken circa 2001 by Sports Illustrated, a year after Mark Cuban bought the Mavericks and began reaching for the brass ring. Those were happy days. Magnolia flowers impregnated the Texas air with sweet perfume. Children gamboled by the Trinity River. And these cowboys loved each other....

A Rigorous Taxonomy And Analysis Of Lucky Charms From The 2011 NBA Draft Lottery
The darling of the NBA draft lottery last week was a sickly imp in a bowtie. The year before that it was a sorrowful widow in pearls. How did this come to pass? You can thank superstition (although not me for bringing you this post a week late). Sadly, too many NBA teams and executives still ignore ...

Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....

Your Mavericks/Thunder Game Three Open Thread
Dallas and Oklahoma City resume their NBA Western Conference Championship amid cover-ups relating to Russell Westbrook-gate and worries about the Mavericks's "suddenly shaky defense."...

My Workout Partner is a Role-Playing Game
Two hundred bucks. My health insurance company will give me $200 if I just go to the gym, 50 times in a six-month span. That's about two times a week. Coming into May, I only needed seven more visits to… [Kotaku] ...

It Was Totally Not Brendan Haywood's Fault That Kevin Durant Posterized Him, Says Brendan Haywood
Remember this dunk? Of course you do. It was awesome. Brendan Haywood, whose greatest skill has traditionally been being marginally better than Erick Dampier or Etan Thomas, remembers it too....

Giants Fans, Don't Insult The Butt Of Your Best Homegrown Player Since Marvin Benard
Your morning roundup for May 21, the day we robbed the Knights of Columbus and a tattoo parlor. H/T E. Gunther for the screencap....

Russell Westbrook's Quarter On The Bench Is A Nice Reminder That The NBA Has Coaches
Here's the play, courtesy of Sebastian Pruiti over at the NBA Playbook, that allegedly motivated Scott Brooks to bench his starting point guard for the entire fourth quarter last night. It was, initially, a nerve-racking move to take in: you expect a young team to fold in on itself without its you...

Today, Consider Bankrupting Dan Gilbert For A Good Cause
Nick Gilbert, bespoke son of Comic Sans-loving Cavaliers owner Dan, became your new favorite meme for about six hours Tuesday night when he presided over Cleveland's unlikely NBA draft lottery win. (And he too cued something in between dickishness and awkward humor from Timberwolves GM David Kahn.)...

The Photo Of Kevin Durant's Dunk Will Replace The Taj Gibson Poster That Replaced Bruce Lee Posters Across America
With apologies to Taj Gibson, who replaced Bruce Lee just four days ago, this posterized Kevin Durant dunk over Brendan Haywood (click here to see the full view) should now be required to hang above every American mantlepiece in felt-tip form....

Putting A Drunk Phillies/Flyers Fan On Live TV? Bad Decision, Guy In A Windowless Production Van
Your morning roundup for May 20, the day Kirsten Dunst was (politely) shocked and appalled. H/T Ryan Boone for the vid....

Your NBA Western Conference Finals Open Thread
In advance of Game Two of the NBA Western Conference Championship series, DFW.com was kind enough to post 136 "fan photos" from Game One between the Dallas Mavericks and the Oklahoma City Thunder. They're something to behold....

The Decision About LeBron's <em>Decision</em> Was An Orgy Of Self-Interest, With Jim Gray On Top
There's a brief section about The Decision in Those Guys Have All the Fun, and if the details aren't exactly fresh, the takeaway is somewhat new: Everyone involved was using everyone else for their own ends to produce what amounted to a massive orgy that they all came to regret the next day. And LeB...

Three Stooges Diversion Makes For Soccer's Greatest Set Piece
We're just seeing this now, but it needs to be seen. It's a brilliant piece of misdirection, and if I were on the victimized team, I'd want to kick someone's shins. [via Fark]...

We Will Always Remember Dick Ebersol For That Thing He Said In The ESPN Book About Hitler And Penises
Dick Ebersol is leaving NBC Sports, as you may know. Let's not think about the bad times, though. Let's think about the fun we had. Like yesterday, when we came across this quote in the excellent ESPN book that we're currently dry-humping up and down the site:...

Deadspin Classic: Dick Ebersol Is The Biggest Failure Of Them All
In the wake of Dick Ebersol's messy resignation from NBC Sports, we revisit the writings of a former NBC employee, who remembers Ebersol's failures being as legendary as his accomplishments....

Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Offer Up A Nazi Death-Camp Gas For Use As Dirk Nowitzki's Nickname
And it was Scott Raab (yesterday). Oh, don't get all "How dare you belittle millions of deaths for a joke the morally depraved community doesn't even so much as giggle at?" He apologized 13 hours later, while nobly driving page views to a story he wrote last year about retired U.S. autoworker/convi...

Dirk Nowitzki, Boring Assassin
While you watch this video of every single Dirk Nowitzki free throw from last night, chew on this: Is it possible that Dirk, long-hailed as an elite NBA player, might have been underrated and unappreciated these past 13 years? Is it possible that Dirk, in a final four showcasing Kevin Durant, Derr...

Facekicker 2: The Kickening
Standard Liege midfielder Mehdi Carcela is in the hospital with a concussion and facial fractures, after being kicked in the face in the Belgian league playoffs. It was accidental, as most soccer highlights are, but still scary. Which doesn't mean you shouldn't mentally add the "Boom! Headshot!" a...

David Kahn Sort Of Accuses Stern Of Fixing Lottery So Gilbert's Sick Kid Would Win
So we told you about Dan Gilbert's son, who won the draft lottery tonight, but was born with neurofibromatosis, a disease that means tumors can grow throughout his body without warning....