ick Page 613 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...

Rick Reilly® Writes Column A Lot Like Other Rick Reilly® Column
When he isn't squirting various hypothetical juices in various hypothetical eyes, Rick Reilly® is usually recycling his own material. Yesterday's column finds him complaining about golf's picayune rules. Again....

Alabama Candidate Uses Horrible Photoshop To Gain Nick Saban's "Endorsement"
A Bessemer, Ala., mayoral candidate put a picture of her and Coach Saban on a campaign poster. It looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time....

Roger Federer Playing William Tell Is This Week's Real Or Fake Conundrum
We're not sure if Federer nailing a can atop a lackey's head is legit or CGI. It seems...plausible? But, then, we fell for this one too....

Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?
The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore?...

Patrick Kane Is More Alcohol Than Man At This Point
It's apparently Patrick Kane week here at Deadspin. So please accept this dump of assorted drunken sightings of the Blackhawks hero tooling around with Jimmy Buffett, rocking the flat-brimmed Reds cap, and getting "iced."...

British Kickboxer (Allegedly) Loses Bar Fight, Kills Victor (Allegedly)
British kickboxer Lee Aldhouse is being sought by Thai police after allegedly stabbing an American tourist in the chest after the two earlier engaged in a bar fight. This has the makings of the best Locked Up Abroad yet. [Daily News]...

Patrick Kane's Drunken Stanley Cup Road Trip Rolls On
That crazy kid puts down the Twlight books for a second to bring the Cup to Wrigleyville watering hole Moe's Cantina. Drinking out of the cup, and using it to pick up chicks? You betcha....

Patrick Kane Loves Him Some <em>Twilight</em>
Seen on MySpace: Stanley Cup Winner. Likes: Team Edward. Dislikes: When my mom comes in my room without knocking first....

Chris Chambers, Chris Chambers' Stalker Have Been Pronounced Husband and Wife
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter’s anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Breaking: Patrick Kane, Stanley Cup Stuck Atop A Ladder Truck In Downtown Buffalo
That is all. You may resume your business. [h/t Tom]...

Did Poynter Go Too Far In Publishing Story Alleging That Deadspin Went Too Far?
The Dongbudsman is distinguished fellow in media ethics at the Deadspin Center for Excellence in Journalism and Penis Photography....

Remembering The Greatest Basebrawl Of All Time
Twenty-six years ago today, the Braves and the Padres decided to forgo their obligations of playing baseball and instead sporadically cleared their benches and punched each other in the face. It's one of the best baseball fights ever, if not the best....

Crotch-Kicking Senate Nominee Linda McMahon Assailed From Right And Left As Crotch-Kicker
First came Connecticut GOP rival Peter Schiff's incredible campaign ad. Now comes this DNC statement about the former WWE CEO: "Today the party of Bob Dole, Jack Kemp and Dick Lugar nominated a candidate who kicks men in the crotch..."...

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “In The Fade”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "In The Fade" by Queens Of The Stone Age....

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Whole Lotta Rosie”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Whole Lotta Rosie" by AC/DC....

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Orion”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Orion" by Metallica....

Bowlegged Floyd Little Gets to Canton
Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith (and others) get their yellow jackets tonight. Travesty. What'd either of them ever accomplish?...

John Salley Story Corner: Rick Mahorn's Bad Boy Luck
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Rick Mahorn got expansion-drafted by the Timberwolves....