ii Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joel Embiid Says He Learned To Shoot By Watching White People Online

Joel Embiid, who’ll make his NBA debut tonight, wants our attention, so badly. He seeks it in many ways: by guzzling Shirley Temples by the syrupy pitcher, by clowning on Andrew Wiggins, or by publicly asking out Rihanna. And we give it to him, maybe a little begrudgingly, because the content is goo...

This Soccer Highlight Is The Absolute Worst Soccer Highlight

The New York Red Bulls’ reserve team faced off against the Swope Park Rangers in something called the USL Cup Final last night. The Rangers, however, were justifiably forced to forfeit before the 90 minutes were up when everyone in the stadium agreed that there would be no more soccering that night ...

Joel Embiid Appears To Actually Be The Truth<em></em>

We rip on the Sixers more or less constantly because of their cynical, anti-fan approach to sports and their former tech-worshipping leader’s insane hubris, but goddamn it, Joel Embiid is actually cool. Please enjoy him dancing a bunch then casually flushing a huge windmill. ...

Joel Embiid Meets His Match: A Water Bottle

Joel Embiid finally got onto an NBA basketball court the other day, and we’re all excited to see what he can do. But they have a preseason for a reason, and for Embiid the exhibition games are necessary to learn how to drink water properly: ...

Joel Embiid Finally Made It Onto An NBA Court

831 days after being becoming the No. 3 overall pick in the 2014 NBA draft, Sixers center Joel Embiid played in his first real(ish) NBA game against real NBA players....

Ambitious Running Back Flips Over, Through Would-Be Tackler For Spectacular Touchdown

This here is Michael Anderson of Division II West Virginia Wesleyan, taking the path of most resistance in for the touchdown....

2016

Big Shock: RGIII Is All Fucked Up Again

Robert Griffin III is essentially a human Jenga tower, and so anytime he gets on the field the question to ask is not “Hey, is RGIII gonna be good again?” but rather “So, how long is this going to last?” If yesterday’s season opener against the Eagles is any indication, the answer is “Not long!”...

RGIII Debuts New Gameday Look For Fashion Week 

This is what Washington missed out on by going with Kirk Cousins....

Deadspin 25: New Mexico State Is So Bad, Not Even The Sun Belt Wants It

Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

Torii Hunter Jr. Helped Off Field After Being Blasted In The Head [Update]

Torii Hunter Jr. headed to the locker room after being crushed by Texas defensive back DeShon Elliott on a play that left nearly every viewer wondering why officials didn’t throw a targeting flag....

RG3 Hits Josh Gordon For 43-Yard Touchdown

It’s 2016, and forgive us for being amazed to witness a connection between Robert Griffin III and Josh Gordon, a 43-yard touchdown bomb, or simply that the Cleveland Browns managed to do something competently—even if it’s just the preseason, and even if it’s just against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers....

Cal Had To Ship Their Own Goalposts To Australia

The college football season starts this Friday, with Cal playing Hawaii in Sydney, Australia. It will be the first college football game played in Australia since 1987, and with the Aussies busy with rugby and cricket, they’re not much of a football country. Cal offensive lineman Aaron Cochran and k...

Edinson Cavani Put Together A Shitty Performance For The Ages This Weekend<em></em>

To a sympathetic soul trying to surmise a specific and, more importantly, potentially reversible cause for Edinson Cavani’s rapid descent from Top Five Pure Striker to Fernando Torres 2.0, the most coherent case would go something like this: upon joining Paris Saint-Germain, poor Cavani was shunted ...

Wrestling Bronze Medal Match Ends In Controversy; Mongolian Coaches Strip In Protest

Today’s 65kg freestyle wrestling bronze medal match between Uzbekistan’s Ikhtiyor Navruzov and Mongolian Ganzorigiin Mandakhnaran ended in controversy as Ganzorigiin was assessed a penalty for celebrating his victory early, costing him the victory. A subsequent penalty point came after the Mongolian...

How Gonzalo Higuaín Became Public Enemy No. 1 In Naples<em></em>

Gonzalo Higuaín’s transfer from Napoli could have ended happily for both parties. While Napoli is right to feel a bit miffed after losing their best player to Juventus, the one team who finished above them in Serie A last season, receiving the third-highest transfer fee in history for a 28-year-old ...

RGIII Called Out For Ripping Off Cavs' Photo [Update]

Future former Cleveland Browns quarterback Robert Griffin III is already getting acclimated to Cleveland and tossing footballs into neighboring yards. This morning, he tweeted his congratulations to the Cavaliers for beating the Warriors and winning Cleveland’s first championship in 52 years, a wort...

RGIII Says He’s Throwing Passes Into Neighbors’ Yards Because He Cares

Cleveland quarterback Robert Griffin III—that still needs a little more time to sink in—wants to prove that he can take instruction from coaches. For one example which appropriately represents the Browns’ reputation as an NFL team, Griffin had a habit in Washington of holding onto the football when ...

Stop This Menace

FIFA's New President Has A Couple Huge Scandals Brewing Already

Just a couple of months ago, newly elected FIFA president Gianni Infantino promised to usher in an era of accountability for soccer’s scandal-ravaged governing body. Not a month ago, he declared FIFA’s annus horribilis officially over, while quietly snatching unprecedented executive authority. And n...